Life Sucks

Feb 19, 2024 5:32 PM

Vontisha

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767

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Time to scream into the void, I really just need to vent.
Yesterday I had to take my step dad off life support, because there was nothing further that could be done. His lungs were no longer working on their own. He went in last week because he wasn't feeling well, he had had  these problems before and always recovered. This time he didn't. 

 I had no idea what to do next. His family was pestering me non stop while waiting for the doctors to come start the process about what funeral home was going to take care of  him etc etc. I hadn't even looked at that cause two days before the doctors were wanting to do a tracheostomy and send him to a long term care hospital so he could get better.

Top of all that, we found out that my mom is not even going to get widow benefits because of the type of Social Security he was and I was being paid by the state to take care of him so there goes all that out the window.
We don't even have the money to do the most basic cremation, I don't know what to do, been trying to find some help locally but so far dead leads. I'm trying to handle everything to take the burden off my mom because this has hit her so hard. He was a lot  younger than her and they had been married 34 years. I just want to scream and cry but I can't. I have to be strong to make sure everything is done.

If you got this far thanks for letting me rant, hug someone you love because it all can be gone too fast.

sad

family

mental_health

Check with the county you live in, they have programs for helping with funeral costs. Don't pay for anything yet.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My sympathies.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thanks so much. We're in the US and today was a Fed holiday so it's been limited on getting info and everyone I've reached out too has been "I'll look into it." but nothing yet.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Then don't worry about it now. Breathe and make sure you eat or at least drink some water. You don't have to do everything at once.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm wondering if you're looking in the right place regarding survivors benefits for your Mom. 'Social Society" is not Social Security.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thank you for noticing the typo, I think I have it corrected now. He was collecting SSI and not SSDI. SSI does not have Widow Benefits

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

SSI does have Widow's Benefits. You might want to check resources on this search page:

https://www.google.com/search?q=does%20social%20security%20have%20widows%20benefits

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm going to call the 800 number tomorrow, you found what I did but my mom had another site that said they didn't. I really hope what you found is right because that would be a life saver. He was under 65 and didn't qualify for SSDI.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Did some more checking, he had Supplemental Security Income (SSI) but will still call when they are open tomorrow.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Aah, that's a game changer. Social Security Income and Supplemental Security Income (both labeled SSI) are indeed quite different from each other and I don't know if Supplemental Security Income has any survivors benefits. But I do think you need to call the Social Security Administration and make sure. Also, a person in their 60s could get both! Here is a link to a couple pages that describe the differences between the two.
https://www.ssa.gov/sf/FactSheets/aianssavsssifinalrev.pdf

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0