I need help quitting smoking, please

I've been a smoker for something like 23 years now. I'm 34 years old. Over the past year, it's really taken it's toll on me. I don't feel healthy anymore. I have been exposed to nicotine since before I was born. My father was a smoker. My Mom smoked, she smoked while pregnant with me then they both smoked in the house growing up. I don't know if that has anything to do with why it's so difficult for me.

It's a constant psychological battle I have with myself, every single day. I know I need to quit. I know the dangers yet.. I cannot. I feel like a failure. My excuse was that my husband was my trigger, or stress was my trigger. My husband has been quit for 4 days now and is going strong. Why can't I seem to stop?

I have tried patches, gum, vaping, Allen Carr's easy way book and Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin worked great at first, but slowly stopped, I have since stopped taking it with in the last couple of months. I just recently joined some facebook groups that are supportive. I need to know how to control my brain. My anxiety goes to a 10 or higher even the thought of quitting makes me anxious. Please help me, I'll take anything I can get. I'm about ready to go key a cop car and get arrested just to be forced into quitting.. as jail was the only time in my life that I was quit for over a month. I felt great but I was young and wasn't ready to quit then.

I'm going to die if I don't stop. I thought I'd come here and ask since I always see "Thank you imgur" posts and you guys changing lives. If you have quit and were like me, how did you do it?? How do I re-wire my brain to accept that I quit smoking? I don't want to die.