GeekWarrior
226453
5009
102
Oct 7, 2017 11:45 AM
GeekWarrior
226453
5009
102
TrueNorthernLights
Well now I feel bad for this guy.
NuFinalSaber
TLDelapore
... Why doesn't he have an arrow in his neck? Is it possible for him not to have an arrow in his neck? Is that even allowed?
owlest
I'll have you know there is no pussii]iiiiiiiiie
WhyDontYouMakeMe
When I turn into a Werewolf for the first time, I become a Talos-Preacher seeking missile
st4rst3p
Seems about right
kayly101
Hey! Its SlayerSyrena! <3 Here's her site for more good times https://slayersyrena.deviantart.com/
SirAragon
So.. It's like working in sales...
PuddingIsAmazing
never played skyrim, but doesn't talos mean artificial life? soooo why would something man-made be godlike...?
Mobiusloop
Have you noticed any inconsistencies in your reality?
humourasdryasyourgf
"Ah Energy"
Heimskr
All I want to do is show people the love and compassion that Talos provides... Why do you all keep killing me?
WhoTheFuckisGavin
I never killed you in any of my runs through skyrim. <3
Heimskr
And I hope I've never killed you. <3
jt005
TrueProphetFlareon
Bruh
jt005
TheRealArbys
he never made it to the end of the day in my playthrough. first thing I did in whiterun was kill him. second thing? killed nazeem.
Sauroctonus
Heimskr. Or as I call him, dead
Heimskr
Bit rude...
Bigbrother44444
Needs more Cicero
Sauroctonus
Hell no.
Bigbrother44444
Hell yes
ghilliechilli97
Had to preach the word of Talos for school skav Hunt so fun +1
Enslavetibet
Tarkov reference
SPQAAE
Tarkov? https://youtu.be/wjamhIPVvnI?t=58
NoOneYouNeedToKnow
.
AliBarber
What
W0lfnub
Heirmskr asks the Stormcloaks and Imperial to stop bickering and join up against the real enemy, the Dominion, because that's the Talos Way.
W0lfnub
Everybody whines about his preachinf but truth is he's of the only ones in Skyrim that see the real consequences of mankind fighting itself.
mooglerae
The first time I transformed into a werewolf, I immediately killed him.
Heimskr
I have feelings you know!
ashirian
Basically Westworld.
Jeddaven
Talos is good. Remember, kids! The Stormcloaks are distracting loyal Imperial citizens from the true threat -- the Dominion.
crazypyro23
Actually they are. The Stormcloaks are giving the Aldmeri Dominion exactly what they want. The Empire, dickish as they are, are right
Myth0l0gical
This is why it’s usually my first order of business when in Whiterun to send this poor soul to be with his beloved Talos.
DanielBonnett
You kill this guy but not Nazeem?
HunterAj007
Im glad to hear im not the only one who puts Nazeem down xD
Myth0l0gical
Nazeem didn’t last long either. “Do you get to the cloud district very often? Oh, what am I saying of cour-“ *catches an ice spike*
humourasdryasyourgf
actually, you've been sending his soul to become one again with Aka. You've been damning this man to never see Talos. Ever. You monster.
Iliketobuttermyselfupandslidearoundontiledfloors
Even better.
SPQAAE
It is said that those with a true heart of a Nord can Go to Sovngarde. So If you truely believe and are worthy or if you die in Glory.
SPQAAE
So a khajiit could go there in theory.
tiberiuswhythecrapcantweuseunderscoresxxvii
I'm now imagining a Khajit curled up in front of the fire in Sovngarde as the Nords kinda shuffle around awkwardly. "Do- do we pet it?"
SPQAAE
More like "What's with the walking throw-rug.
addledPunster
Still, no Talos in Sovngarde.
SPQAAE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8MZGr5YQ1Y
Myth0l0gical
What? You literally meet him there.
addledPunster
Nnnnnnnnnope
Beshuu
Lol wabbajack. Classic.
Xylon95
During college westboro came to my school and was yelling terrible things at students. A lone man was yelling back with Talos scripture.
ZebraCockSandwich
thats amazing.
Justsendmememes
That’s great. I would of so loved to have witness that
ASDFFDSAASDFASDF
that doesn't make sense. in skyrim the talos worshipers are jews. they just happen to be blond so it confuses people.
ASDFFDSAASDFASDF
so they hate elves. how many jews like nazis?
crazypyro23
Nah, that's the Argonians. Conquered and scattered a zillion times, waiting for the call to unite in their homeland (messiah/Hist)
Diezen
I would love a Black Marsh TES with more survival aspects, but... Bethesda would probably mess it up as usual.
crazypyro23
True. The issue is that Skyrim made all the money in the universe, so Bethesda is probably gonna stick with that style
Atomics985
Iliketobuttermyselfupandslidearoundontiledfloors
*blowjob intensifies*...wait.
Atomics985
Lmao
Killthefridge
I have one question for you... GREYMANE OR BATTLEBORN?!
dabigeazy
Greymane 4 life
SPQAAE
Battleborn
SPQAAE
The answer is simple, Skyrim vs the world. Or an Empire cripple but not defeated formed by the Mighty Talos Himself. That's his empire NORDS
SonicBoomYourFamily
Dude I'm here just to sell this shit and store my dragon bones in Lydia...WITH Lydia. Ahem.
Myth0l0gical
Sooo....confession time. Yeah...I may have sacrificed Lydia to Boethiah. #sorrynotsorry
SonicBoomYourFamily
Aww what. At least give her to the Blades.
Myth0l0gical
But....Ebony Mail...
SonicBoomYourFamily
Yeah Ebony Mail is cool, but I'm a Dawnguard Heavy Armor kinda guy.
abacaxi
Well she IS sworn to carry your burdens, after all.
Killthefridge
Dedeurmetdebaard
I really hate that guy but I leave him be out of pity because I'm sure this poor devil has never been to the Cloud District. Sad.
minkuschild
I kill him during the first werewolf phase. You dont get bounty
AstartesLibrarius
For shits and giggles, one time, using console commands, I made him like, 80 feet tall.
Cheelio
I killed him a long time ago. Gaurds surrounded me, I paid off my bounty using the thieves guild, and his body lies naked there to this day.
Retrikaethan
when i did the vampire quests, and when they told me to go kill someone in whiterun, he was the first person i killed. noise pollution, yo.
Ryukaa
I visited him in the middle of the night in his house and he fell into my knives in his sleep. Such a tragic accident, i was SO sorry....
DrBruleSaysYes
I dump all the meat and bones around him that I find around the world. I had to stop after a bit 'cause whiterun was loading super slowly.
Burke616
Talk about maggots writhing in corruption.
apathyorwhatever
I think it's great voice acting, I love him. One of my favorite parts of Whiterun.
PianoMan2112
Oh I agree, for the first 50 times I heard it.
Iliketobuttermyselfupandslidearoundontiledfloors
What kind of monster are you?!
DarthSedition
One who appreciates atmosphere. It absolutely makes sense that there would be a priest of Talos trying desperately to bring the people to
anakhasilver
Okay but he's still annoying as FUCK.
DarthSedition
Him. Whiterun makes sense as the only place that would allow it. I doubt Morthal worships any of the 9, Falkreath is run by a corrupt youth,
DarthSedition
Solitude is obviously the seat of Imperial influence, and Markarth has a population that's more concerned with silver and gold, not to
TheEmperorOfMankind40000
If you join the storm cloaks and attack whiterun his house gets destroyed. If the imperial win he gets arrested.
VitaminJay
His house is destroyed either way. Imperial win he sleeps behind the shrine.
mahgaminshit
He meant that the unofficial patch moves him to Whiterun jail if the imperials win, where he continues praising Talos in his new cell.
Slash0mega
why is that patched? was he ment to go to jail but a bug prevented it? why would he still keep the dialog if he was ment to go to jail?
TheEmperorOfMankind40000
Wow. I've played with that for so long I thought it was in the vanilla game
VitaminJay
Oh, cool. I didn't know that.
PianoMan2112
Those two are the only characters I’ve killed in the game.
WibblyWobblyTimeyWimeyFox
I normally don't go on killing rampages but Nazeem *followed me into my home* to make fun of me, so I killed and animated him and had him--
WibblyWobblyTimeyWimeyFox
dispose of his own body in the catacombs.
Zigor22
Any downside to killing him besides just murder?
EchoOfSnac
I poisoned him to death via reverse-pickpocketing once.
Vlaatu
"So, have you come to Dragonsreach to discuss the ongoing hostilities with the rest of the /great warriors/?" "Dammit Farengar, I just want
ThatDeadGuyFromGameOfThrones
hoshstilities*
Vlaatu
to enchant in silence!" ~ kill 0001A67E "Ahhhhhh..."
PianoMan2112
I'd kill him to not hear that again, but I need his stuff.
NoAsBigAsMediumJockButBiggerThanWeeJockJock
So, you are just another wanderer here to lick my fathers boots ?
TristMerc
Great job. *scoffs*
NoAsBigAsMediumJockButBiggerThanWeeJockJock
BTW, the "high king of skyrim" mod allows you to get rid of every NPC (even children).
Zigor22
Oh, look, another wanderer here to lick my fathers balls. Too bad they're gone.
CheeseBelongsInTheKitten
Wait, so your killed the Talos guy and who else?
CheeseBelongsInTheKitten
You've*
ZebraCockSandwich
you ever been to the cloud district? OH, what am i saying? of course you haven't.
PianoMan2112
Yep. Although I don't actually remember killing him. I should go back and check. But I'm using survival mode now and he's far away.
SketchNI
I killed Nazeem on the steps leading to the Gildergreen plaza. I came back later and his body was still there, so I went to drag it /2
SexySquatch
Sometimes i bring him back just to kill him again. Hate that fucking guy
PianoMan2112
Wait - you can do that?! Or do you mean make him a zombie for 30 seconds?
SexySquatch
Theres a mod on xbox that gives you a "resurrection mace". Hit corpses with them to bring them back to life (1/2)
SketchNI
to dump it in the river and one of the kids in Whiterun said "Ew. Put that down"
ThatDeadGuyFromGameOfThrones
I was attacked in whiterun by cultists early in the game and their bodies never when away
chrisdafish
I was attacked by cultists and they killed npcs I became friends with in that first village you go to
mirhagk
I still have vampire bodies and those assassins just chilling at the gate
thecomminator
The ones that attacked me are still in the mountains south of dawnstar, by the pass.
modicumjones
Thorudon
The two Redguard glitched and stayed at the gates for me, and they instantly back-assassinated those cultists when they turned hostile.
ItAintGayIfItsAFemininePenis
In my first playthrough, a dragon glitched and died in the city, that fuckers bones are still right in front of the main gate.
Rjl13666
So... It's like working in retail
PoisonInJest
Well it is more of less customer service. You're always selling something friend
Cultistchan
no, he looks happy in the morning.
samsonguy920
Only voluntary.
IamNotAnAlien
except you wake up with enthusiasm instead of crippling dread
PoliticalWanderer
Except nobody in retail wakes up that eager to go to work. But aside from that, pretty much.
FlyingTigerRose
Especially the part about the Wabbajack. Times 500.
MrPredator
Hell, you wish. It's more like being the company bitch at a fast-food place, working for $7.25 at part time cause you have no experience.
DarthSedition
I mean, you can be that same thing in most basic retail
aPokal
VoxVendetta
"Even though I don't work here, and have no concept of how your inventory system works, I'm pretty sure what I want is in the back."
aPokal
"Cause when you look through the storage, you are in the storage"
SpontaneousOso
I've learned to hate society because of retail
RTBackup
I hate people and think I have soul cancer after a couple of years dealing with people.
TheCausticCynic
I've learned that I should never work in retail because of the Internet
DeathclawSanctuary
Why work retail if you dont like it? I work retail myself because of the social interaction. Sure, some dicks/cunts. WAY more smiles.
UnassumingAscotCap
Thanks to that work I refuse to eat at a restaurant within 15 minutes of closing.
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
My week off is ending tomorrow. I DREAD going back.
ImJustLurkingAround
Man fuck. IMA CUSTOMER SERVICE STAFF IN A RETAIL STORE! I literally make a mental note of who to kill if Purge becomes real.
Ivri
I've learned to hate myself because of retail
CreamAndShit
I'm starting retail in a few weeks.
CreamAndShit
I already hate myself and people.
AlexanderBlackX
This is natural, my son. Now take the hatred, and use the experience to learn aggressive humility and respect toward your fellow slaves.
ExplodingRobotColon
Then you've chosen the right field
NorseNanuq
I've learned to hate humans because of retail
AlexanderBlackX
I started on the sales floor to try and conquer my social anxiety. Four months later I transferred to the warehouse because fuck people.
rainballs
Part of the reason why when I reapplied with a company I quit, I chose to work in the stock room. I have great CS skills, I hate people
AlexanderBlackX
When I transferred, apparently my direct supervisor didn't know and was pissed. I can't sell shit, but I had great rapport with customers.
AlexanderBlackX
I had customers come back years later and request me. The problem is that I'm honest and will accept no as an answer. Fuck the numbers game.
SpontaneousOso
As long as you're not a merchandiser; small percentage are kind, some are just idiots, lastly some people are Richards. Milfs make my job
AlexanderBlackX
Did both merchandising and inventory. Inventory is my thing. Shipping, receiving, paperwork, pick and pack. Been at it for 7 years now.
TotinosPizzaRolls
I worked Target electronics for nearly 2 years, but I guess that's not as bad as some other retail jobs.
AlexanderBlackX
The way I see it, the service industry is the service industry. I try not to weigh one job against another.
TotinosPizzaRolls
I guess that's one way to do it, but different stores/services attract different clientele. Some are generally worse than others.
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
It worked for me, kind of....I am a fucking recluse in my free time. Because fuck people.
AlexanderBlackX
Amen, friendo.
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
INTROVERTS UNITE! SEPARATELY! IN YOUR OWN HOMES!
ArtOzz
4 months...!? Are you a wizard? Or a saint mayhap?
PrincesssButtercup
Bf has been doing it for a full year. I quit after like 5 months. No clue how he does it
BravadoAvacado
Definitely wizard, not even a saint could stand it.
AlexanderBlackX
Haha. The newer people that know me as the angry warehouse guy are always shocked when I tell them I started in sales.