CapeCodCaity
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Input Imgurians? Am I selfish?
I adopted her son five years ago, I also have a six year old son and a baby daughter. AND she's STILL using/drinking. Am I being selfish for not wanting to risk leaving my children motherless? This surgery is not without risk on my part should I choose to come forward. I'm tired of putting more effort into her sobriety than she does.
tabernacle
i'd do exactly the same thing OP. i'm selfish but i'm not going to risk leaving my daughter because someone really likes heroin.
JunWasHere
The family-obsessed folks say family is forever. Your kids are family and they outnumber your sister. You're entitled to your choice.
Fachera
No. You are being responsible. I have lost a dear friend who donated part of her liver to save her baby niece. The both eventually died >
FernandoRumdebum
Lie. Keep lying. WE understand. Family will NEVER understand. NEVER tell anyone you know IRL the truth. Kids come first, always
canadianpancakes
mmmmm pickled liver...
WeOnlyPostWhenStoned
She had her chance. She should've thought about the long term affects of all that shit; just like you have to think of your long term.
YvetteBakker
You re doing the best you can. When she doesn't use drugs or alcohol anymore you can reconsider. Her life is not your responsibillity.
blackbirdmayhem
Tell her to go sober for 6 months and you'll do it?
WhompingWillough
As the queen of helps-anyone-even-if-it-screws-me-over... no, you are not being selfish.
sonic745
Do what you feel is right OP. I wish you luck on your decision.
SoulHeart
Adding to those wishes
3001100113
Not selfish at all. Your doing way more than most already. She is choosing booze let her face the consequences.
Drudrite
No. U have 3 kids to take care of
ThisIsMyMainAccount11
And one of them is hers!
Spanglah
This is a no win situation OP. Whatever you decide, I hope everything turns out for the best.
badmuthafucker
Transplant the organ then use it to control her... that is how that works right?
CapeCodCaity
haha I wish! I would have given my husband something a long time ago! Thanks for the laugh, I needed it!
arednecksquirel
So..... You're single right?
dafunkskunk
My dad died of liver failure. So id do it. But the choice to maybe live with regret and having to tell her/your kids about it later is yours
YouCatfish
That's a confession bear
xmaneds
If you give the liver tissue to her, she will still continue boozing and drugging and she will still die anyway.
Muffdiver9
You're under no obligation to undergo a major surgery for someone who won't appreciate it or take care of herself.
someassholeontheinternet
Fecking BOOM. There it is.
anvil
I agree with this. But it's easier to say because it's not my sister. You have to be able to live with your decision, whatever you decide.
Idonthavealottosay
Think of the children!
DarthStu79
Sometimes what we see selfishness is actually the right thing to do. Good for you and good for your children
ConTonkTen
No. Your decision is perfectly valid and i understand your reservations and lie completely
immaCanucktoo
Toughlove is tough, OP. Stay strong.
ThePotatoBandit
you've got kids depending on you. Don't let her endanger your life/health because she messed up her own. She's gotta handle this herself
Sayagain
Let her burn.... *insert evil laugh here*
Emeraldkitty
Wouldn't they not do the surgery anyway if she is still abusing?
CapeCodCaity
she cant get on the national list until she's 6 months sober but a living donor she can get whnever someone wants to give it to her
ssmud1
Tough situation but I wouldn't donate organs I knew would be ruined by alcohol and drugs. What's the point. Then you're back at square one.
MWisBest
If she's not sober then she's just going to be in the same position in a few years (at best) if you do help her :/
CapeCodCaity
exactly. I only have so much liver to go around...
TooterFishPopkin
tell her to get clean and then you will consider it. (if the only thing stopping you is the fact she still uses)
CapeCodCaity
its a huge part of it. I dont want to put my life on the line if she's just gonna fuck up my liver too. It's not fair to my kids. Or hers.
TooterFishPopkin
In the end it is your decision. I wouldn't do the surgery if she's just going to keep doing it. She won't learn and there is the risk to you
CapeCodCaity
thank you. I appreciate the validation.
RudolphsRedNo
Stick to the list standards. If she can't stay 6 months sober, she shouldn't get one.
CapeCodCaity
that was my thinking. I had high hopes but she didnt last more than a few days. Its just sad. She's my best friend.
RudolphsRedNo
Did she try rehab? AA? :/
CapeCodCaity
dozens, maybe hundreds of times. I'm not kidding.Her son thought she worked at a certain rehab because I had to take him for visits so much
EasyBreezyCleverGirl
She did this to herself, man. As of this point, I consider helping her just enabling her to destroy the new liver, too.
CapeCodCaity
sorry bout those other "replies" 'm on my mom's tablet that sucks.
CapeCodCaity
we're sisters. It's not easy but I have to draw the line somewhere
EasyBreezyCleverGirl
She did this to herself, [insert colloquial female pronoun here].*
CapeCodCaity
bitch would be acceptable. I've been called worse
EasyBreezyCleverGirl
Yeah, no. Not going to do that. You did nothing to deserve it.
CapeCodCaity
it's ok.At BEST I think I'm being bitchy. Worst? I don't think there's words for a sister who could save hr sister's life and doesnt. its ok