Jonson71
15577
549
9
Feb 13, 2026 12:41 AM
Jonson71
15577
549
9
Ifekinlovesauerkraut
NÜRNBERG! Stop butchering names, Americans. That's your first ticket to become a true member of the rest of the world.
petonious
You know who you are core members. This isn’t for you. This is for the one’s along for the ride. The hangers on and the enablers. It’s time to get off the buss and slink back into the shadow because “We the people” are coming for you.
There will be nowhere to hide and no mercy for evil.
Causeitsmadeofmeat
Acshully....Sauron wasn't killed
dixxienormus
Oh KKK. Message understood.
Sebastopol140
Lord of the Nurembergs.
idrinkcheapbeer
The scouring of the shire is my favorite part of the books.
khaoselement
I'm gonna be that guy. Frodo didn't destroy the ring. He refused to, in fact.
procrastinatortwo
Nürnberg?
Navrodel
...can I just skip to the Undying lands? Making like an Elf and leaving is sounding pretty appealing to me - like half of my ancestors before me...
dirtmarker
RexRexroththe1st
Some 70 million Orcs to run down but thankfully most are very recognizable.
NinjaCongo
NocturnalPigeon
Using Orc weaponry.
NinjaCongo
Yeah they were getting the enchanted mithril stuff as part of a Gondor aid program and it would even take down the flying nazgul. But the new king of Gondor is a corrupt creep, compromised by Mordorian intelligence, and he's cut them off. His mouthpiece even had the gall to ask the Hobbit king if he's "said thank you"... They're still getting some weapons from Rohan tho.
ChareAndFlaff
I can't tell how much of a reference this is to the actual events depicted in the book when the hobbits return to the Shire, because that's kind of spot on.
gschally
And also don't forget, that Sauriman's henchmen went on to corrupt the Shire. Lasting damage.
Cyandvai
Lord of the Rings is not about Lord of the Rings.
spangolio
if you were convicted then pardoned for J6, that is probable cause for a search warrant for WHATEVER
KarenFromTheHOA
There was like one guy who rejected the pardon, right? Actual repentence.
spangolio
Is he testifying against Trump? if not fuck him.
DorkJedi
testifying... where? you think Trump's DoJ is gonna reopen the J6 cases they closed when they took over????
KarenFromTheHOA
Hey hey hey, what can a low level rioter testify about? He read tweets? Watched fox news? It's all public record. These guys didn't have a private line to the president. They're just goons. And one of them would rather try to atone for that than get out of jail. That's cool. Would be cooler if it were more than one.
CrisprCAS
Frodo didn't destroy the ring. He refused to, had power stolen from him, and everyone was just lucky that Gollum was a klutz.
EstilgarDono
The quest completed, he gained xp. I call that a job well done
ChenChioMinawa
In our world, they couldn’t collect xp. They just collect cp.
mksu
Frodo's will to destroy the ring unambiguously failed in the end, but it's debatable if Gollum died, destroying the ring with him, simply due to being clumsy. Frodo, while in possession of the One Ring, did curse Gollum to die in the fires of Mt Doom if he ever laid a hand on him again.
MeeseOnABeam
the interpretation i always heard was that nobody could intentionally destroy the ring, but frodo and gollum fighting over it allowed it to be destroyed indirectly
3Davideo
Frodo did withstand the Ring incredibly well, however. It's just that Mt. Doom was the very absolute center of the power of Sauron and the Ring. That would turn anyone!
BlueDsc
Literally anyone that wasn't Tom Bombadil.
3Davideo
Yeah, well, he was narratively anomalous.
CrisprCAS
I've got to be honest, as much as I love the movies I found the books impossibly dull. And I've read books on patent law.
gft8gd5khn101
They grow on you as you get older, as a stone grows moss.
MeowWoof
You can just skip anything in Italics
ToSisPoS
Oh, they were a slog at some points. I mean, not like looking-for-a-bowl-over-three-books Wheel of Time slog, but definitely and dragged in parts.
mksu
I think the relevant events happened in both, though I don't remember. I honestly didn't like LotR that much and mostly read it because I liked The Hobbit, which is a far superior fantasy story. The worldbuilding is, or at least was, also interesting, though I've seen too many Tolkien derivatives at this point.
JayDeeDubs
"The Hobbit is a far superior fantasy story." Jeez, that's like, indefensible.
mksu
Nah. The Hobbit was written to be a fun and enchanting adventure in a fantastical realm, and every sentence in the book understands that. LotR, while no doubt more impactful, is overly long, meanders at times, and often can't decide if it's a story or worldbuilding exposition. I'm not saying it's bad, but it probably could have used further revision.
nation543
This statement is why I am so vehemently adamant that The Wheel of Time is the greatest series of all time. ASOIAF (GoT) isn't complete so I won't read it.
WoT has a problem with books 7-10, yeah, but in all honesty that's just a blip in the entirety of the amazing world that RJ created. I was satisfied with how BrandoSando finished it.
KileyBarker
Listen, I finished the Wheel of Time. I would never call it anything close to 'the greatest series of all time'. It had its moments but the prose is severely dated, the story is bloated (14 books is nonsense), and some of the climactic moments are very much just dues ex solutions with unearned conclusions. It was good for what it was, but I will not put lipstick on a pig. Books 1-4 held up well. The rest were sunk cost reading for me.
nation543
cool, good for you.
RPGables
Ah yes. Nothing better than reading about someone tugging on their braid and sniffing a million times. Could we get yet another scene where the female characters are upset for the males getting drunk? Genius!
nation543
Ah yes, focusing on only one character for the entirety of one series with 2700 individual distinct characters absolutely gives the best synopsis of the entirety of the 14 book series.
Quixus
The sniff of the noseless is fear.
Dracology
God, Thank you. I never liked LotR and it feels like anytime I told other fantasy nerds that they thought I was insane. I like the stuff it inspired, I like other fantasy, but LotR? Yawn, pass, miss me with that. I'll re-read the Deathgate Cycle or The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant instead.
OverwhelmingSurplusOfDiggity
I never got around to finishing the Thomas Covenant books. Do we ever find out uhhhhhh… spoilery question in my reply:
OverwhelmingSurplusOfDiggity
Was anything that happened real? Was he just a crazy man, or was the white gold, arch of time etc real for other people too?
ThisGuyPostingThings
Killing every single orc seems like unnecessary genocidal action, but I see what the analogy is trying.
mynamespaul
The orcs were created by dark magic to do evil. They’re weapons more than a race. It’s kinda the ye-old equivalent of de-armorment. It’s not an allegory for genocide.
HoneNathan
unnecessary?
ThisGuyPostingThings
I don't think genocide is ever necessary.
HoneNathan
Why? Do you think the orcs will live peacefully?
ChazzK
Yes, actually. While they were "bred from the torture of elves, twisted and wrong" or the equivalent, the orcs had absolutely no intention of going outside their lands and causing grief as long as they were left alone. Then Sauron came along and made them a slave army.
HoneNathan
Thats not even remotely true, you either haven't read LotR/The Silmarillion, or you've forgotten them. The orcs were waging war on Humans, elves and dwarves long before Sauron was in charge, and we listen to several talks between orcs about what they want to do after the war's over. The answer: Set up a fort where they can raid people from without anyone else telling them what to do.
ThisGuyPostingThings
The idea that an entire race/species can be condemned as innately evil or violent is a really bad lesson to take away, and one of the things I really dislike about LotR.
HoneNathan
They were magically altered my dude, it's not a metaphor for real life.