Mine's more like 0.03% if we're being honest.

Mar 15, 2018 1:03 PM

lordofthedice

Views

121872

Likes

2228

Dislikes

69

He was telling me how I was going to get the standard 3% raise this year and how he'd gotten the same 3% raise, too. To which I replied, "Yeah, well, I bet your 3% is bigger than my 3%." After a long night, something about the way I said it and the fact that I had said it without even thinking made me find it hilarious.

funny

memes

work

hammer

andbyhammerimeanmypenis

Congrats on the sex

8 years ago | Likes 172 Dislikes 3

HA! HA! Double entendre!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Your boss: hahaha and it's about to get smaller for that comment

8 years ago | Likes 522 Dislikes 1

Top 10 anime betrayals.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Guess ya had to be there.

8 years ago | Likes 157 Dislikes 12

or you know, 0.3‰

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Plot twist: OP & OP’s boss are both women

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Good luck at your HR meeting.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Good luck on the job search tomorrow.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hilarious

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

One time in PoliSci class in high school - we were learning about caucuses - "Mr.O, my Caucus bigger than your Caucus" - I was sent out :[

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wal-mart? I ask because we only got a 3% raise as well. We joke we are only going to do 3% more work than last year as a protest.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Upvote just for the hammer tag.

8 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 1

... the hammer is my penis

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Later on down at HR: "And then I made a completely innocent joke about his penis size."

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Work-wife him.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Well his 3% is much larger than your 3%.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What is the double meaning there

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Its a dick joke

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

An ESL customer once asked my boss for his "largest package" (referring to cellphone plans). I instantly cracked and had to duck under >

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

> the till to try and stifle the giggles, my boss saw this and continued to use the word 'package' in conjunction with various size-related>

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

> adjectives as many times as he possibly could during the discussion, all while retaining a straight face. He was fun to work for. :P

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

My manager is the king of "that's what she said" jokes. I love working with him!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Did he formerly manage a small branch of a paper company in Scranton, PA?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Boss: it absolutely is.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0