stonetemplefox05
147986
934
28
"Have a nice day"
Oh, no thank you."
I had a dream that I was driving a cop car but I was in the passenger seat sleeping with earplugs and an eye shade and got pulled over by actual cops but they had to let me go because I wasn't actually breaking any laws.
...so, same.
This is unrelated, but I just saw an episode of golden girls where Sophia was getting married and there were at least a dozen Elvis impersonators. I was all "that one looks kind of like Quentin Tarantino" AND IT WAS! Quentin Tarantino has a microscopic bit in the golden girls as an Elvis impersonator.
Ralimione
#1 Baby sharks eat each other while in the womb before they're born.
MayMayz4DayzYo
#22
executivedisfunction
Yeah, I believe it. Some stuff you just can't make up? My guess is they were keeping things alive with D/s play?
williamshakesbeer
#14 I'd like to learn about owls ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
eadanke
#9 This looks like an edit of something that started its life as something tasteless, but I don't know why.
flipj
#26 damn, that is cold hearted murder.
nation543
Some serious emotional trauma there.
Allusernamesaretakensoichoosethis
Why? He had.... an date?
gummyloaf
And here I’m thinking “damn, I’m smitten”
emu314159127001
#27 "No spoilers!'
Neednoggle
#15 yeeeeah, 'goof sauce' isn't something I'd worry that he'd invented. I'd worry that he created it, but invented I'm not concerned about
AgamemnonsMemes
#2 My ancestors didn't brute force their way through lactose intolerance for me to not eat all the cheese and drink all the milk i want.
pdonettes
#27 anywere from 7 to 47, I’d wager.
AshesVonDust
#9 my mom was trying to tell me about a movie but didn't know what it was called, what it was about, or when it was from. All she could say was that it had "Mee-Moe" in it. Finding Nemo? No. Leonard Nimoy? No. "You know, the handsome man! Mee-Moe!" Friends, it took me 20 minutes to figure out she was talking about Jason Momoa. The point of her story? "I dunno, I thought you liked him and wanted to tell you he was in more than that one movie"
thotterpop
#17 TIL Australian is a type of autism
SirSage
Oztism
MungChomper69420
#10 if teach got anything less than a 10/10 the vp should be fired
DankestofKang
#27 When two or three Samurai won't suffice. https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1NWx4MzRuMzBjdXZmcXg5ZWJiMGU5dzRqcGF3cHg3emJhMDBoNGhsdiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/9tW9jdu3oYj60/200w.webp
duktayp
#17 Les Stewart https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/67977-fastest-time-to-type-1-to-1-million
RuffyRuffHausen
I bet that would feel worse than the void you experience after completing the best rpg you ever played
RoyalOss
"The salmon shark generally grows to between 200 and 260 cm (6.6–8.6 ft) in length and weighs up to 220 kg (485 lb)." ...Im gonna pass on petting those...
Lowland
#3 now thats humor
ChocolateCookieAndFudge
Zendaya is not pregnant.
VibratingNipples
#1
v
blackpete
It's Jeff
AkLonewolf
Those are BABY salmon sharks.. adult Salmon sharks get to around 12 feet in length.
Hexidimentional
#1 my name jeff!
UncleRat
The unofficial office manager at my vet's is a hamster named Lynn. She leaves for home every night and has weekends off.
gronzilla
#25 fun fact: the color patterns on cows are unique like fingerprints... #privacy #watchdog
Neednoggle
#23 isn't that a Black Eyed Peas album?
WackyWavingInflatableArmFlailingTubman
#12 is my reading comprehension broken or wouldnt this mean its not chocolatey, so confused
AmyBethMegJo
The mom is saying that to other people about their baking.
meowingintensifies
#23 the half-sibling of the elephino.
WackyWavingInflatableArmFlailingTubman
#15 wtf is a disney food tik toker (thats a cursed title if ive ever heard one)
Hevach
There's at least one whose content is just systematically working their way through every food vendor item at a Disney park. And since all the little kiosks have different stuff to simulate street vendors and menus change faster than you can get through everything is apparently a sustainable content source.
copingcabana
#3 A guy offered to teach me guitar for free. No strings attached.
stonetemplefox05
Beauty.
dingybasement350
#9 One day my mother was trying to remember Hugh Jackman's name and so she referred him as "The guy from that movie where them things pop out of his hands and he turns into a wolf or something.".
stonetemplefox05
That's rough buddy
Slimewire
#17 imagine finding out you missed a number
emu314159127001
#2 not everyone, just people with the mutation. So northern Europeans, the masai, and prolly someone else
Iambadatnames1938
It's not even true on the animal side. Like what do these people think happens when carnivores eat lactating animals? Do they expect them to spit out the milk?
gronzilla
in fact many with the mutation don't
SquirtVonnegut
Parts of India and West Asia too. The Mongolians eat a lot of dairy, but weirdly lack the gene to produce lactase. Instead, they ferment milk into dairy products low in lactose that they can consume.
gronzilla
Besides, the argument falls a little flat as indeed there's very little healthy about kale smoothies (or Karens)
myotherusernameisalreadytaken
Quentin Tarantino
theinternetkeepsmealive
Easily the worst Elvis out of them all.
PubMed12927120suckssobad
I know, right? He looks just like Quentin Tarantino
PubMed12927120suckssobad
And here's the clip in the comments. Oh my God I love Imgur so much
DoomCookie9k
Oh yeah, it's all coming together
Sunshine12345
The Golden Girls is still one of the best shows to have ever existed.
homoerection
It’s true. I was never allowed to watch it growing up because it was too racy. So, I’m enjoying it now.
Sunshine12345
The television was my babysitter. So I have the snark built into my personality.
earthlingextraordinaire
"I wore my own clothes, because I was, like, the Sun Records Elvis. I was the hillbilly cat Elvis. I was the real Elvis; everyone else was Elvis after he sold out."
solrev
This is the best thing I learned all week.
FlyingGiantElk
Imagine meeting him and you gush over that part instead of anything else.
cyno01
Thats my plan if i ever meet a celebrity, reference the absolute most obscure thing i could possibly know them from.
*meets Alex Skarsgaard* "Hey, youre the "Orange Mocha Frappuchinos" guy from Zoolander!"
wejustdontknow
Meeting Robert Plant:"Oh my God, it's the guy from the Honeydrippers! Will there ever be a second album!?"
eadanke
Then try to remember that Wil Wheaton played one of the mouse boys from Secret of NIMH, Martin. As did Eric Idle in the sequel.
MayMayz4DayzYo
Bro, I hate to tell you this, but he died… in a freak gasoline fight accident.
thedudeman519
Jitterbug