More info in description....

More info in description....

This is probably long winded and boring as hell. I apologize but at the same time I don't think I can bring myself to create a TL;DR version.

Sorry if this is the wrong meme to use. I got my blood test results yesterday and have been trying to distract myself as much as possible, but I really needed to say at least something about this to someone as I'm really aching inside.

I was born with something called Dandy Walker Syndrome (more specifically, Dandy Walker Variant). Until now, I had not known whether my condition was inherited from my parents or whether it was a freak mutation during my development prior to birth. Since this condition can be inherited, and I am at a point in my life where my wife and I would like to start trying for a kid, I decided to take a blood test that would show me the extent of damage to my chromosomes that may affect my offspring.

My results indicated that I have multiple duplications within Trisomy 18 (which would have caused my Dandy Walker). My results also showed that my DNA is mosaic - which means that I have healthy copies of Trisomy 18 as well as my faulty copies. This apparently indicates a mutation during pregnancy.....I started out with healthy DNA, but somewhere along the lines things got funky so I have mutations too.

This blood test answered questions for me that I didn't even expect it to....I now know my parents were not carriers of my condition (or at least most likely weren't?), the reason why my condition is so mild compared to the typical Dandy Walker patient, and the exact mutation that caused my condition.

Because of the specifics of my genetic mutation, there's a 50/50 chance of me passing Dandy Walker to my offspring (or so I read anyway, there's barely ANY info about my condition on the internet and it sucks ass). Even if that chance was them ending up like me, that sucks enough due to all of the surgeries etc. I have had to go through.....but I am the absolute best case scenario when it comes to a Dandy Walker patient - a lot of kids born with Dandy Walker are either stillbirths, don't live to the age of 1, or have severe mental and physical impairment. I wouldn't wish that kind of thing on anyone and can't logically roll the dice like that.

Basically, right now my options are to either forget having kids or try my luck with IVF. I'm kind of a weird guy in a sense that the one thing I've wanted most for a really long time is a kid....so the thought of not trying kills me. At the same time, I've heard so many horror stories about IVF and I can't help but think about how much more difficult it would be with them not only having to pick a successful embryo, but a successful embryo that DOESN'T have my genetic mutation passed on.

I try to tell myself that my condition doesn't mean anything and that I'm a normal person that can live a normal life. My wife and I have been house hunting lately and were actually in the middle of an offering process for a 5 bedroom/3 bathroom duplex. The first thing my wife said when she saw the results was "I don't want something that big if it's just you and me." MY HEART BROKE, I can't imagine not having kids.

I don't know how to end this so I guess I just will, I've been rambling for awhile and I apologize for that. I just have so much going on inside me at the moment. For anyone that actually bothered to read this, thank you for your time.