Hard to find a home

On mobile, so there may be spelling errors. Venting so this may be long.

I rent, like many. The housing market is crazy where I'm at, so, a lot of landlords are selling their homes out from under their tenants. I'm only of those people. I don't have the money to buy a home, hell I don't really have the money to put down a deposit with such short notice.

Every place I apply to has an application fee, and they range from $25-150 and they keep the fee. So I have limited ability to apply and there are so many people needing to rent that I've been denied every place. No explanation, they just took someone else. I know it wasn't personal.

I have two cats, which makes rental hard, too. If I can't find a place, there are people I would entrust them to.

I've had depression my whole life. 40 years. I've fought against the voices in my head for so long. But if life takes my cats away from me, you know what? That's it. I'm done. I've drawn my line in the sand. If life makes me have to give up these sweet boys, then life is telling me that it doesn't want me here anymore. And it's no longer a fight I am willing to fight.

So that's it. This is the hill I am quite literally prepared to die on. Hug your pets, you never know how long you have left with them.

Thanks for letting me vent if you got this far.