Hey total strangers, come over for a pandemic party! We’ll social distance of course, but you can still touch all of our liquor bottles and fondle our dirty cornhole bags because we don’t know how germs work.

This was posted in my local Nextdoor app. Yes, I know there is a Best of Nextdoor group on Facebook… but it seems more fitting here. This dude and “the girlfriend” are looking to meet some new people! Screw the pandemic, we need friends! Anyone within the surrounding 47 neighborhoods is welcome to come over and squeeze our cornhole bags. Touch all our liquor bottles too. But we’ll stay 6 feet apart so all is good. We’re not sure how germs work.

But hey, maybe I’m the crazy one. Everyone else seems to think this is a great idea, including one genius who still has his fingers crossed for college football (which was officially cancelled 2 weeks ago). The entire Big Ten Conference decided it wasn’t safe to play, but you keep hope alive buddy! As Journey said, don’t stop believin’! /s