May need help

I've been really depressed for a very long time, I live in a country where depression isn't considered a "thing", no support from parents, they actually make it worse both along with my brother keep on telling me how I won't amount to anything, how I'm useless and a failure, tried to run away a couple of times but they always find me, my friends, as few as they are, were the only reason I chose to stick around, lately it's got worse to the point that I stayed a whole week on my back in bed staring at the ceiling and doing nothing else, lost a lot of weight, I'm too proud to ask for help also I don't like being the centre of attention, most of my life I've had to do things on my own, I got no help, I just man up and do it and that kind of mentality makes it hard for me to ask for help, crying used to help but parents always told me men don't cry, my tear ducts are virtually dry, I rarely ever cry, there's no outlet, nothing I can do, no one I can talk to, I know lots of people have it worse, and that's why it took me so long to actually admit it and even talk about it, I'm not looking for attention, I swear. I just wish if someone was going through the same experience would share some gems of wisdom, I just want to feel light again not like I'm carrying the weight of the world in my chest.