InDubiousBattle
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Got the long-awaited second line on the pregnancy test July 8th. Took my vitamins, changed my diet, and looked forward to my 8 week ultrasound appointment, after which we planned to share the happy news.
The ultrasound didn't go well. Blood tests confirmed dropping HCG levels (the pregnancy hormone, same one is detected on take home urine tests). The embryo stopped growing 3 to 4 weeks ago.
This week has been one of the hardest of my life.
If this is you, or might be you one day, you aren't alone. Pregnancy loss is rarely anything you can control.
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/miscarriage-isnt-your-fault-an-expert-explains-the-science
EDIT: Just want to say thank you to everyone. To me, you're not "just" strangers on the internet; you're all people who took the time to comfort someone you didn't know. If that isn't an act of pure kindness, I don't know what is. At this point, I can't respond to everyone individually, but know that you're all pretty good in my book.
Akaszkronos
bundleofwoodensticks
I’m so sorry. I’ve been there and it’s heartbreaking. If you’re taking misoprostol, make sure to stay ahead of any pain.
DLOBREWSKY
Its not your fault. You could not change this outcome. Good luck
InDubiousBattle
Thank you.
DangerousNoodle
I’ve lost three so far, but I keep my hopes up by reminding myself this is natural. We are just able to detect pregnancies sooner.
DangerousNoodle
Odds are, without pregnancy tests I would have never known I was pregnant, just having really shitty periods.
InDubiousBattle
My mom was kinda like this. First pregnancy miscarried, but she barely knew or felt pregnant.
Jlee173
I am so sorry. My wife and I also suffered a miscarriage at the beginning of this year. While I'm sure it's harder for the wife, it's (1/?)
Jlee173
Also hard on the father. Hold on to each other! There's no rhyme or reason why. Also if you subscribed to any what to expect type things(2/3
Jlee173
Cancel them. We just got formula delivered the other day from both Similac and enfamil. It hurt again.
panchita86
So sorry. We're currently trying to conceive. It's hard. I hope you have support to turn to.?
Anonanimal3000
You are not alone! It's sad how long we have taken to be able to talk openly about something so common. Grieve, but not alone.
slotheroll
InDubiousBattle
Thanks. Also an excellent gif for the occasion
slotheroll
jrbaconchee
I wish there weren’t so many feelings of shame and self blame around this issue. So many parents go through it alone.
InDubiousBattle
EXACTLY. Trying not to. I benefited from hearing other people speak, so this is me paying it forward
jrbaconchee
takes courage and someone out there is taking strength and comfort from your sharing. we appreciate you.
HarmonyIsTemporary
I’ve been there; my heart breaks with yours tonight.
vladimirtheliberator
My wife (then-gf) had a miscarriage shortly before I got with her. She still grieves every Mother's Day. While I do not understand what (1
vladimirtheliberator
You are going through, I want you to know that it is ok to be grieving, and I am here for you
(2
FuturamaReferences
I’m sorry, @op. I know how hard these things can be. You never get over it, you can only accept it…
v
TheSkyIsNotTheLimitThereAreFootprintsOnTheMoon11
I miss funny memes
InDubiousBattle
Thanks. Excellent gif for the occasion
NullResult
I just found out at my 10wk US last mo. Stopped growing at 6wks. Had a procedure. Doing okay. Hope you will be doing okay soon too. Xoxoxo
thatmomdotcom
Well said. You will find a way to move through this loss, @op. Remember to care for yourself and your partner. It’s okay to grieve.
snoffler
I'm so sorry, darling. I had one last month. I'm still an absolute fucking mess about it. I made a post, a lot of people had helpful words.
[deleted]
[deleted]
InDubiousBattle
Thank you. Heck yes, resources are always welcome.
Bunniesarefuckinggreat
I'm sorry for your loss dear stranger
QuickLighting53
Jeez... Know you're not alone! This happens to a significant number of women out there, though it's not talked about. Virtual hug!
PiusCBuenzli
I don't know what to say so i'll judt drop a <3
InDubiousBattle
Thanks. Honestly it is as simple as that. Sounds cheesy, but a little kindness goes a long way
Rodltwo
You are not alone either. My wife and I had multiple miscarriages. I am sorry
RetroBlast
My wife had four miscarriages - it never gets easier. That said, we now have two beautiful kids. Keep trying.
judgedredddreddedjudge
It is a hellish journey, me and my wife have had 5 miscarriages and are still trying. It is brilliant to see positive stories like yours t!
np226
Yep, we had 6, some resembling @OP, wife is about to drop a baby out in the next month. So don't give up OP, its not spoken about but /
np226
/ it is far more normal than you may think.
judgedredddreddedjudge
I'm sorry, but recurrent miscarriage isn't. In the UK, 25% end in miscarriage, but for recurrent that drops to 1%.
np226
Righteo, so the second pregnancy works 99% of the time. Got ya.
judgedredddreddedjudge
Apologies, I meant the amount of people having recurrent miscarriages is 1%. But thanks for the shitty comment though.
Heavenissize17socks
I'm so sorry for your loss. I wanted to give you this reminder; You are brave and wonderful.
InDubiousBattle
Thank you
doomsdayaddams
I’m so sorry. I had a pregnancy that went that way; the drop in hormones gave me such horrible guilt feelings. It’s hard. Be well, okay?
udntnome
You didn’t do anything wrong (just an FYI. You might need to remind yourself that)
wellembalmed
You arent alone. My wife and I went through the same in December. Be strong, because you are
InDubiousBattle
Thank you. I hope you two are doing well!
wellembalmed
We survive. It ebbs and flows. Keep each other afloat
daxstarrcatredlantern
I can't come up with anything empathetic to say, so I just wish u a tearless Friday 13, I'm sure you'll be an amazing mom some day.good luck
rebelplayerone
It's not your fault.This moment will pass. There are many paths to having a family and none are closed to you.
InDubiousBattle
Thank you.
[deleted]
[deleted]
InDubiousBattle
This is the therapy I need.
aslanlives
Very very sorry OP. Happened exactly like this w/my DIL feb '20. She's 32 weeks now. Keep hope alive. Sending hugs <3
TheRussMartinShow
I am an ultrasound tech (a male one at that) and being the first person in the world to know when this happens to someone is awful.
TheRussMartinShow
Many hugs to you and yours, and I sincerely hope you and yours get all that you want out of life.
daxstarrcatredlantern
I'm gonna watch scrubs from season 1 to season finale this week
thejessicat05
Did this earlier this year. I’m sorry, OP. Also, you should take more & stronger pain killers because tonight’s about to suuuuuuuck. ❤️
DeanOMiite
I'm so sorry. My wife and I went through this recently. Our 20 anatomy scan revealed a litany of unsurvivable birth defects. But at the /
DeanOMiite
2 time, our son was still alive. We fought it with tears and hospital visits but there was no saving him. On May 20th my wife began a /
DeanOMiite
3 procedure that would allow him to pass away and he was born still on May 21st. Without question the hardest few weeks of our lives and /
DeanOMiite
4 the struggle continues today. I'll be thinking of you @op, hit me up. It's so hard but you're not alone. 4/4
iatezola
deepest peace of the earth to you, and to @op.
thevortexmaster
Dang. Sorry OP. If it makes you feel better I once sunburned the roof of my mouth
InDubiousBattle
Story. Now. I simply must know.
thevortexmaster
Hahaha annual float cabin trip. I decided to have a day nap on the deck. The angle of the sun, my head and my mouth wide open
Peachos
On most posts especially like this I'll go to the bottom of the comments to see who's shitty about what. This is one of Very few posts I've
Peachos
EVER come across on Imgur where every single comment unanimously agrees & sympathizes/empathises along with you. As awful as this is
Peachos
It would appear you really truly are not alone in this. Virtual support being what it is, ppl who've been there & those who came close all
Peachos
need you to know that they're here for you now. It's one of the most random sweet moments I've seen on Imgur.
Peachos
None of this is consolation I know, & I am so sorry this has happened. But random ppl tonight are sharing in this w/you & are feeling that
Peachos
pain for you, right alongside you. We all just want it to work out, for a miracle to arrive eventually if that's what you want or even to
DontcallmeLen
Unfortunately, I think it's super common - I can think of four women straight off who've suffered it too. Hope you can come to peace with it
DontcallmeLen
and are able to take another go in the future.
InDubiousBattle
Mega common. Thank you for your kindness
SirDistic
Many people have miscarriage's before they have a baby. Hang in there.
InDubiousBattle
Thanks. I know 2, my mom and SIL. I am sad now, but holding out hope.
rip36706
My husband and I are currently trying. OBGYN warned how common miscarriages r. But she said getting pregnant in first place is a good sign!
newusernamenewusername
When we went through it and finally opened up to others we were shocked how many others went through it too. It gets better.
LSparkles
LSparkles
Take good care of you @op. Get a lot of hugs and love and time with your partner who is grieving as well, even if they aren't showing it
InDubiousBattle
Too right. Been checking in with him regularly. We both have therapists for other issues, which is a major plus.
LSparkles
Writing to check on you both. How's it going?
InDubiousBattle
Thanks. Doing okay. Found a therapist who focuses on early pregnancy loss to work with for a few weeks as an event-specific addition.
LSparkles
Get lots of physical contact like hugs. Score all the dopamine and serotonin you can because the hormones are a bitch.
LSparkles
I send you a digital hug or pat.