ObsessedWithAnimals
98401
1085
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Aug 2, 2022 2:48 PM
ObsessedWithAnimals
98401
1085
26
HillOfBeans
Speedmetal05
I could had used these instructions when our lids were babies! Pppffffttt!
waluigismansion
#12 ?
ALovelyTime
#7 bullshit, I’ve had to hose my kid down after poop explosions and enthusiastic meals.
ALovelyTime
Though typically just in the shower.
5050Saint
I need a series of these with Mando and Grogu.
iamlegendinjapan
Nothing is wrong using a hose. It's the best way to do it in the kitchen sink
TheElusiveEnchilada
#12
B99Reactions
nemocares
#1 What about a cardboard box? Asking for a Finn.
sfbiker
Just about all of those "don't" tips would make parenting easier or at least more entertaining.
oldguyexlurker
Pediatrician when I was small recommended my dad give me a little of his bourbon to calm me at night. No problems here, (hic.)
havokxman
It sad that I know some parents that did the wrong thing on to see if the bottle was hot.
DiscountOneLiners
I learned something today. Thanks IMGUR!
elBirdnose
So... Don't party with the baby?
Herebychoice
twatburglar
#3 let me correct this one. If they are in a carseat, this is the only viable way to load your cart
writer88katherine5
I stole every one of these and I’m sending them to my boyfriend ?
Tundra314
I sent them to my husband lol. We are expecting our first so I thought it was funny lol
sfrinlan
Hit him with this one too
writer88katherine5
Haha! Oooh nice!
Herebychoice
I lost it at #21. Damn good information.
OxJunk
Parenthood is so complicated!
TodayIsSlapANaziDay
Anybody knows if there’s a book version of this? Friends of mine have their baby shower soon.
BobFictional
There is, it’s Safe Baby Handling Tips by David and Kelly Sopp
TheeKingsWit
@perfectres - this is you bro. this is you. you're the baby. i'm the grown up.
perfectres
God damn it.
TheeKingsWit
@perfectres - i gave it at trophy. so it gets to the front page. and then everyone will know that this is you.
ImpizzahutwelcometoEvan
@Perfectres - Yeah, we all know now.
Gurrrlucray
Yeeah fuck @perfectres! HA! Kick Him! Hes a baby!
TheeKingsWit
hey woah we don't kick babies. We just had a whole post about this.
frothyafterbirth
#12
v
terriblycleverusername
My dad had a lot of these backwards
MonsieurBambi
This is reverse psychology, right?
just4thelolz
Why would anyone wake a baby? ...EVER?
anjeleyezjr
Better question. Why would they have one, EVER?!
Bassoongal
My youngest would sleep through the night, which sounds amazing, but she wasn't getting enough nutrition so I had to wake her every 3 hours
KRPMills
Example if baby falls asleep downstairs and you want to take them upstairs to their crib
NotHotSwedishGirl
Because baby fell asleep on mommy while breastfeeding and now mommy’s really really has to go to bathroom /mom of 7-week old
josebornedumont1
Ex- Fucking - acly
Mewmus
uh, they got shit to do, that's why. can't be letting them babies freeload like that
QWTFODDBALL
Yeah guess fucking what if they sleep more than 2 hours in one nap they wont fucking sleep again until tomorrow.
jolem53
When it’s sexy time?
Anwinity
pyroshen
Joking aside, newborns need to have a bottle every 3 hours (or so), so you actually often wake them often in the first weeks
pyroshen
(bottle or breastmilk)
scuba7jb
IdiotSavantTinker
For some reason, yes.
Alfadorfox
don't
scuba7jb
IdiotSavantTinker
#17 I used to toss mine in the air all the time.
Tundra314
Older babies you can! Newborns, pls don’t. Very dangerous.
IdiotSavantTinker
Right, I didn't do that sort of stuff until she could hold her head up. She also liked being held upside down by the ankles.
sfrinlan
If we assume the man is 5' 6", he appears to have tossed the baby at least 5 feet in the air, which might be a bit much.
IdiotSavantTinker
Well I tried to keep her from hitting the ceiling at least.
Hoptimonium
Off topic, but splitting a single measurement across multiple units is pretty stupid. It would be better if we just said 66" or 167cm
sfrinlan
In my experience, people don't understand 66 inches quickly, but do quickly visualize common heights, like 5' 6". ymmv
Hoptimonium
Weird, metric is so effortlessly simple that someone saying they are 1.80m tall vs 180cm makes no difference at all.
Hoptimonium
Hmm that implies that the imperial system is so counter intuitive that even Americans who grew up with it get have not mastered it.
sfrinlan
Correct. Units are primarily understood as themselves only. Conversion is not expected in most circumstances because of it. Americans are