DoofusGoo
110583
8403
254
How to make a woman orgasm in 5 seconds
Feb 7, 2016 8:43 AM
DoofusGoo
110583
8403
254
krillin123499
But it's tradition.
GozerTheGozerian
In a word: Sybian.
Tzell
megansoefje
I'm shocked by how few people know about cervical orgasms..they're the best kind
kamosey
George Clooless.
aussietaco
As a woman i confirm this as tru
DazzlingDoodles
Oral.
Zandress
TateOrtena
Learn where the clit is. Touch it, rub it, lick it, circle it with your thumb while fucking, just pay attention to it. It's very sensitive.
SoundingziM
Starbucks?
AlexCrosley
This will now replace the "I lied" gif
freenbeen
That's easy, Stan. Yous just gotta find the clitoris.
NlGHTW0LF
"Find the clitoris? Is that like finding Jesus or something?"
Gruntingsince1775
Reminds me of red green
ThomasTheIdiot
If I were a rich man, yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
BattloidKouji
Hitachi original magic wand.
stratus41298
Changed our lives.
mattygmig
Always ask, every women is different, but going down with taking your time, kissing, licking and sucking has always served me well
CityYeti
Go for the g-spot. Make that hook. Though it's really fun keeping her on edge
visualvendetta
Wait, women can have orgasms?
IGetWetDreamsAboutTonyStark
How old are you
visualvendetta
Almost 60. Why do you ask. pray tell?
[deleted]
[deleted]
visualvendetta
No sense of humor at all. You must be fun at parties. Not exactly a hit on Imgur either. Lonely much?
IGetWetDreamsAboutTonyStark
Wow so charming. No wonder you can't make any woman orgasm
Caramstet
You make her squirt by force.
greymw
a chocolate dick that ejaculates money
sirbroderic
Only happened the one time, but my girlfriend a killer orgasm from like 5 thrusts. We've never managed to recreate it.
KittenMittensofSteel
Probably faking it.
Kjasi
@OP Why do people keep using a low quality version of this gif?
vv
JCrouse11
Step 1: acquire a girlfriend who likes sex
nihilistdad
That's great, but then she'll cheat on you.
JCrouse11
It was joke. I'm not clueless. Thanks anyways
IAmTheBadW01f
It's true, women love it when men admit that they don't know everything
AlcoholicsAnonymousBYO
Instead of making shit up like we usually do
NlGHTW0LF
How do I make Tevye orgasm?
DoofusGoo
https://media2.giphy.com/media/MZtPGl5Jaj9rG/200.gif
NationofSchrad
A little bit of this, a little bit of that…
DameWithAPipBoy
Go from sunrise to sunset.
WheresWaldoNowBitch
i'd ask amber rose.
zigbigidorlu
SaintMaude
So good
melodramaticbat
In what way is a male orgasm like a bop-it? Do these people just never have sex, ever?
JapaneseStudentTadashii
No no no. Go around it, not on it, or you'll have a twitching gf
deGoodMan
Rubik's cube is actually very easy to solve once you learn the algorithm.
zigbigidorlu
So is the clit.
AmiEvilYet
juST ASK HER TO INSTRUCT YOU. ITS NOT THAT HARD GUYS. "Is this good for you? Can you show/tell me what works better for you?"
goodguyC
I'm a nurse and the other day one of my aides asked me if I'd ask answer a question about reproduction. Then she giggled and said never mind
goodguyC
After her shift ended I found a post-it note with a crude drawing of a vagina on it. I am very curious what she was going to ask me....
deranger
I have zero desire to have my male genetalia flicked. Or spun. Or bopped in that fashion.
zigbigidorlu
Twist it.
eavens
I'll never look at my mouse the same way again
MonsieurLaPaditte
Just focus on the clit, change rhythm every twenty seconds or so, maybe throw a tongue in there, should be done in five minutes flat.
mydogisfarting
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QyViuXFyIE4
MonsieurLaPaditte
This has been a MonsieurLaPaditte Public Service Announcement. Happy Valentine's Day everybody!
mydogisfarting
Change rhythm?! No. Just no. You find what works and you do it. And you don't immediately focus on the clit, you work up to that.5 minutes?!
youwillneverknowit
Exactly
MonsieurLaPaditte
Okay, okay, more like ten. And I've found that going really hard, then softer, then back works. And of course you work up to it
LigeRegret
My brother showed me this and I cringed.
MusicForEarthworms
Ah Relax. He was probably just insinuating that he wants to have sex with you.
Curiousone545
Yes. perfect. I like you.
MusicForEarthworms
;)
thatguywhoisnttoowitty
Ahh. Incest, just like the good ol' days in pennsytuckabama
MusicForEarthworms
That's why I support Trump and his promise to make incest great again! Jk someone please kill him already.
MrRandom314159
Shhhh. Have faith that humanity won't vote him in. Also, if you plan to do so, doing it after they have lost everything is the bee's knees.
thatguywhoisnttoowitty
Wait. I am voting for Trump. I got two hot sisters and a kinda attractive cousin.
amh7912
it's funny cuz my mouse wheel does nothing at all.
Blundermore
Nothing at all...
amh7912
Well it spins still, but the computer doesn't know it's spinning anymore.
soyouretellinmetheresachance
That's funny cause it's the only way for me.
amh7912
I meant it doesn't work, not I don't program it to do anything.
Treblaine
I'm so sorry to hear that, how do you manage.
amh7912
Well I mean my computer can't run competitive stuff so I just put whatever that does on the keyboard.
Treblaine
Oh, wait you're literally talking about your mouse wheel. Uhh, awkward.
Eogos
I usually set mine to throw grenades, a lot quicker and easier than hitting a key.
amh7912
Now I really feel like I need to go and get a new mouse :(
Wodenifferous
I find the most erotic part of a woman is the grenades.
hemmi
EROTIC!
wherearemytesticles
Except when it scrolls and you switch weapons instead...
amh7912
no i mean its broken.
Eogos
I have a mouse that scrolls in increments not just a smooth spin so that doesn't happen to me.
[deleted]
[deleted]
wherearemytesticles
Mine does both, but I still accidentally scroll.
Tkeleth
Hitachi Magic Wand, recently rebranded as Magic Wand Original. Maybe not 5 seconds... but close.
pwperk4721
I can confirm
danielonfilm
Meh. That's cheating.
Tkeleth
With my wife, I would either have the world's most powerful hand/wrist by now, or be dead from carpal tunnel. Hitachi saved my life.
Jagadid
Shove that right up on the roof of her pussy on that g-spot. You'll make her cum or short her out entirely.
Tkeleth
10/10, can confirm.
hayllyn
I have this 5/7 perfect toy. Friend who works at a toy shop calls it the marriage wrecker or divorce maker.
fcma172
Wife and I have one. We love using it on each other.
micotyro
I've heard that thing ruins any other sexual thing because its so good at what it does
Tkeleth
Not really. I mean it makes a lot of other toys obsolete, but manual stimulation is still much more personal and enjoyable in a dif. way.
LOSTmyTARDISinHYRULE
Kind of true
radioactivewildcat
I kinda noticed that too. Don't use it too much, or else it'll be the only thing you'll be able to get off with!
Wootxor
Rich man...
Tkeleth
If you can afford to have a girlfriend/wife, you can't afford NOT to have a Hitachi.
Wootxor
Bored of fucking your wife? Me to!;)
Tkeleth
Not really sure how you got that out of my reply but OK.
ISarabi
Dahdah de de de de dum.
Thaliel
Got one for $35 on black Friday last year.
WEAREGRID
you engage in foreplay for an hour, pleasure them for four, and then keep them on edge for half an hour, then they'll cum on command.
thelazergoespewpew416
You gon go places bruh +1
NothingRhymesWithClockworkOrange
You forgot the step about taking and gently putting aside your fedora.
Glumerlink
Haha yeah no woman enjoys tantric sex
NothingRhymesWithClockworkOrange
Only LADIES, gosh.
ineedapilot
As a woman: dear men of imgur, please don't listen to this guy. That doesn't sound enjoyable at all.
WEAREGRID
For the record it was making fun of the bad stereotype of women taking forever to pleasure.
ineedapilot
Unfortunately, some will take it as advice.
human8060
As a woman, nope. This sounds terrible. If I haven't gotten off during an hour of foreplay, then you're terrible at it.
idunnogoddamwaterbottles
Jesus Christ I'll plan for my next long weekend
WhatzitTooya
Five and a half hours??
GaffyMcBint
TL;DR: Fuck her right in the pussy
grimwyrd
Too much work. And I might catch something terminal... like kids. I'll just jerk off, order pizza, drink beer and watch the Super Bowl.
ohrotcod
@seriouslynicesausages
seriouslynicesausages
Like I need advice ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ohrotcod
now now
Keairan
Nice fantasy, but most men and women don't have that kind of stamina or control.
chakarakarama
Maybe if you consistently have sex with the same partner. You drop the whole "I MUST get off" urge for mutual pleasure desire, in my exp
human8060
Or the desire to have sex for 5 hours. Ain't nobody got time for that. There's food to eat and shows to binge watch.
Shore
Step 1: Fiddle her on the roof.
noshftshck16
Diddle her in the cooch
Djinnfizz
If I was a rich man...
krennnkalis
Abso-fucking-lutely wonderful
SiriusLeeBlack
Beautiful.. Just beautiful
TheBigRedMachine2213
That's fucking brilliant.
bustersmissinghand
Oh. My. God. You fucking genius
SingingMeAndCthulioDownByRlyehFhtagn
Traditionally, yes.
BabiesDippedInFondue
Fiddle Pussy
SearedFlame
Risky click of the day
SingingMeAndCthulioDownByRlyehFhtagn
Worth it
MechaRoosevelt
That was surprisingly horrifying
youresouglyyoucouldbeamodernartmasterpiece
well i'm out
Kilo11
I dont get it
Shplintt
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiddler_on_the_Roof
Kilo11
Still dont get it, i am Not a smart man
Shplintt
The gif is from a movie with the same title. Or are you not getting the pun?
Shplintt
The gif is from a movie with the same title. Or are you not getting the pun?
martiisfly
You. You're good you.
lofaith13
Step 2: tradition
lofaith13
Step 3: be a rich man
youresouglyyoucouldbeamodernartmasterpiece
Step 4: Diedle deedle didle dum
obcontra
aahahahahahahahahaahhaha
SlipSeal
Step 5: profit...?
Lugh314159
If I were a rich man...
Warranty
Na na na nana na nanananana na na na...
Kraken9
Ba dum dee dum dum
StupidFatDaikini
matchmaker matchmaker.
Wootxor
Fidle didle feedle deedle dum
Onlyifyouwantto
All day long I'd
Wootxor
Browse, User Sub! ;) I can't remember anymore lyrics just the cadence
FH2actual
All day long...
thephantomoftheoperaisthereinsidemymind
i'd biddy biddy bum
ProfessorBlackHole
If I were a wealthy man.. hey!
FH2actual
I wouldn't have to work hard...