mentalproblemz
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I’m not sure how to make this post…. It is with the heaviest of hearts and most broken of souls, we have to say goodbye to the most amazing woman I’ve ever known in my life. My mom passed away Saturday morning after a valiant battle with cancer.
My Mom was the center of soo many people worlds. She was there if you needed someone to hug you when you down or pump you up when you needed that extra bit of support. She had a way of gathering people to her, and making them see the best in themselves.
Thank you for giving me the absolute best 46 years of my life. Thank you for taking care of me and dad, and Mel as lovingly as you did. I will miss to the moon and back. And I will take care of dad for you like I promised.
EDIT: Truly thank you all for you amazingly kind words. I’m sitting here crying and reading them. Thank you for saving me tonight.
trhopkins
Inviter her friends over and tell stories about her.. And cry... cry a lot
RedbuIIVodka
My mother passed of pancreatic cancer one year ago. Its been hard watching my dad get along with life. He did join the senior center and signed up on a cornhole team. He has taken a couple vacations with his church group too. I know its hard but this is the way of all things. Best of luck to you going forward.
yeahhedugit
Moms want their kids to be happy. Morn, then be happy and live the best life you can.
rotisseriepotato
Lost my mom 13 years ago to cancer. The grief gets easier to manage but you never stop needing your mom. Much love to you @OP.
Orsoks
i am so sorry for your loss :(
i lost my mother when i was 12 to cancer in 98'
it still hurt like in first day.
jaggcomputing5
Allow yourself to grieve. Cry when you need to, crying is good. Don't be upset if you can't. Grief takes many forms, everyone does it differently. It will take time for the pain and loss to subside, but it will happen. Take care of yourself, eat properly.
youbetchamom
I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel the pain of losing someone who was a treasure. My mom was lost to religion and I'm still eternally bitter. She was a follower of that bat shit crazy Christian Science religion that doesn't allow its followers to see a doctor. She died of congestive great failure that could have been treated if diagnosed sooner. Sorry about the rant. I'm still bitter. She would be here.
mentalproblemz
DidgeryDrew
I lost my mom in April of 24 and my dad passed last Wednesday. I sympathize. It's hard losing your cheering section.
GOWood
My condolences to you and your family. Moving forward will come in time. Right now you are exactly where you need to be.
OmniscientJonSnow
After losing my mom 2 years ago I was discussing my grief with my psychiatrist and he told me people often underestimate how traumatic it can be because when you lose a spouse or child, you have already lived without them, but you have never know the world without your mother. I cannot express how sorry I am that you have joined this club, but know that you are not alone.
doctorId
Your mom sounds a lot like my dad. Been 4 years and I miss him every day. I'm so sorry you've lost her.
super3dcow
Im so sorry. Same situation for me. Lost mom 8 years ago when I was 27. Was my beacon of light in life. Be kind to yourself and take it slow. It will always hurt but there will be an ever growing list of things that bring you joy and distraction from this terrible moment in time. I hope the road isn't too harsh for you. ❤️
FlyingTigerRose
I am so sorry to hear this, sweetie. My mom passed 20 years ago and the pain can still come out of nowhere, sometimes. I can offer some advice a friend gave me once, regarding grief: "You may never get over it, but you will get past it." It's true. Deepest condolences to you and your family.
dirtcreature
Remember this: the last thing your mom would want is for you to not live your life to its fullest. You honor her by doing so. Now go and celebrate life and take advantage of this moment to look for all the beauty in it.
phyxious562
@OP, I lost my mom to metastatic cancer. On my page, I actually have a page I made for her. If you ever need to vent or anything, I'm here for you. Whenever you need me, I'm here for you.
Raventhief
Fuck cancer indeed. My best friend is in chemo now. I'm so sorry.
mentalproblemz
VolcanoHerder
My little Falcor pup is currently dying of liver cancer. Fuck cancer. I'm so sorry for your loss op, your mom sounds like a wonderful person. <3
sundaymondayhippyday
Ok that is hideous as well
DirigoTuSequere
digitreal
I lost my mom a few years ago now to cancer as well. This is no right way to go forward when it happens. You have no obligation to have the right answers. It'll take time. I still deeply miss my mom, but I can talk about her with joy. I share stories, and talk to my brother about her pretty regularly. Lean on you're friends and family when you are having a rough time. You'll heal, she'd want that for you.
RTK4740
I came to offer love and support but can't say it better than this person. So, yeah. I agree with the sentiment above, written by someone who can use words good.
IncognitoEnthusiast
I completely understand, when I lost my grandmother who raised me it shook me in a way I cannot properly put into words. Know that you are not alone, and we grieve with you for your lose.
whothefeckknows
I haven't lost my parents yet but this post and this comment make me wish I were immortal for my daughter. You're good people and I wish you did not have to suffer. I hope we do not go through this for no reason.
mentalproblemz
Hug her tight, and always remember even when mad, tell her how much you love her. One day those memories will what she has left to carry. I know my mom loved me with her whole heart, and I know she knew how much I loved her, but gods what I wouldn’t give to tell her or hear her tell me one more time…
FrellingFarbot
I lost my mom a few months ago to a massive stroke. I feel exactly like you. If you ever need to talk, feel free send me a message.
aFukingGoatOutside
I lost my dad in July to cancer. Him and my mom were married for 53 years. He took care of everyone. We were really close. I think about him everyday. It gets easier, I promise. Just take it one day at a time. Also, FUCK CANCER!
SunFart
Me and my mom were so close as friends and war buddies. I wanted to die when she did. I felt so lost. A year later I still miss her everyday and feel a but lost. I just know she fought so hard for me to live. I continue to do so not just for me but what she fought so hard for. I live for her memory. Grieve for now my friend. Then live everyday to make her proud.
mentalproblemz
Wiser works were rarely ever spoken. Your mom and mine would have gotten along and been great friends as they sound similar passions, drive, and love.
Targe0
You move forward @OP by letting your emotions flow.
Don't try to avoid them, and don't try to hold onto them.
Let them happen and then let them go.
The only way to process it is to go through it.
twoamartist
I know of the tear of the fabric that you’re talking about. I tried to mend it right away, but I realized I didn’t know how to sew. My Mother, who knew how to, never taught me. Or so I thought. Slowly, through time and connections, the threads came together and though her presence diminished her spirit mended so many loose ends. Stronger than ever. You will be again. She will make sure of that. Hugs.
mentalproblemz
charondaboatman
So sorry….my mom just turned 90 this year. I speak to her almost every day. She’s my anchor after my wife. She has been an amazing force in so many lives. I have spent several years talking to her about her life and mine, recording some of our conversations, asking her to write down her memories as best she can. We have both gotten to a place of acceptance of what’s to come. Still, it will be extremely difficult.
Maybe start writing down your memories, build a book of her, pictures, 1/2>>>>
charondaboatman
2/2. Thoughts, recipes, favorite places you were together, her music, books, etc.. it may help you by remembering the best of her and putting it down so you can share her with other family and kids as they grow. Just try to do one thing a day. I wish you peace.
bigtitsbutnotthesexykind
My deepest condolences OP. Lost my mum to cancer a decade ago myself. Best answer I can give is simply take each day as they come. Allow yourself to feel everything that comes now, and don't try to shut anything out. And use your network around you for support, be it friends or here on Imgur. But don't let anyone force you to feel something you don't. The way you are going to handle this sutuation is correct, as long as it is your way. The pain will fade with time, but that time is not now.
eggpresso
I lost my father last year to cancer. Grief comes in waves, big at first, unbearable. As the world turns, the waves get more manageable, not smaller per se, but you learn to keep you head above the water. Sometimes they come when you don't see it coming, but that'll be okay. Just gotta ride it out and remember them how you think they ought to be remembered
KittensForDays
Fuck cancer. Took my mom, too. All the love to you, friend
seenunseen
One step at a time
kimmycat57
Agree, one minute at a time goes to an hour and a day. You keep busy and talk to friends and family. It's the only way I got through losing my dad and sister this past year to cancer
mentalproblemz
One minute at a time, one foot infront of the other. That’s what il trying to do right now. Im worried about stopping and then the thoughts start.
kimmycat57
My dad died two weeks ago and my sister died last Halloween . The thoughts do come back when I stop. I let them wash over me. I cry and let it out. I then start one minute at a time again, one hour etc. it's a process and healing takes so very long. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Keep talking to people. Talk to everyone. That also helps with the pain
mentalproblemz
My sister fought her cancer for a long time. I hoped mom would have as much time. But then time slipped away and one minute her and the next not. Time moved to fast. It was over before I could catch up. Now I feel like I’m running still trying to catch her,to see her but I know she’s gone already. I don’t know how to explain it.
kimmycat57
I totally understand... My sister fought breast cancer for 7 years. My dad was diagnosed with leukemia around the same time my sister went on hospice. His time was very limited. It moved too fast. I tried to love him as much as I could before the end.
kimmycat57
Even if you can't explain your feelings just let them out. My husband has heard every single word of my grief. I tell him of my nightmares. I keep trying to find my dad in my dreams. I wake up crying. My husband just holds my hand and listens.
JohnBluehill
Hey, homie. I am so, so sorry. I lost my dad suddenly 2.5 years ago, and I'm only slightly younger than you.
I'm guessing your Dad is still around, so try to be there for him. If they were together a long time, he may not handle it well even with the knowledge the end was coming.
Be your Dad's support with any siblings or close family. But look after yourself too, and lean on your own loved ones for strength.
It's not going to be easy. But you will come through.
mentalproblemz
Dad is around and survived his own cancer issue. He’s been cancer free since ‘14. Dad and mom were going to celebrate 50years of marriage on Dec 13th. Just a couple months off. He said he made a good run at it. He’s probably more broken than I am right now. But I promised my mom I’d be here for him. And I will be.
JohnBluehill
Good job. My mom spiraled and ended up in the hospital, and now has mixed dementia. But she's still here.
Things may happen with him that will be out of your control, okay? All you can do is your best.
If you need some support from a stranger who's lived this whole scenario before, I gotcha. My DMs are open, but maybe reply to one of my comments to let me know since I've never been notified about DMs in the last few years 😂
mentalproblemz
Thank you very much for that. My dad is on auto pilot right now. I'm terribly worried about when autopilot switches off. His brother lost his wife to cancer and a year later took his own life. My mom made my dad promise he wouldn't do the same thing as his brother because I'm still here. That is what my dad is holding on to, and what I'm holding on to as well. I don't want to be an orphan in this life, my big sis is supposed to be here and tell me how to do all this, but she's gone to..
JohnBluehill
Okay, DM me, please?
mentalproblemz
Should see one from me if it's working like it should.