TinyOctopus
25898
736
24
Here's the link if you feel like dealing with a bunch of ads and getting attacked for self sufficiency.
https://siliconcanals.com/gen-psychology-says-adults-who-have-no-close-friends-arent-necessarily-antisocial-or-unlikable-many-of-them-learned-in-childhood-that-being-vulnerable-leads-to-pain-and-they-grew-up-assuming-th/
Fennecks
I'm antisocial because i drink a lot, and I drink a lot because i'm always alone.
I've tried to talk to people and go to social events but if i don't drink then I keep to myself and want to leave, but if i do drink, i know how to talk and hangout, but nobody wants to hang with a drunk. After over a decade of continuing this behavior, I've finally just accepted it and don't try to socialize with anyone. I guess online friends are the best to have, they cant really tell if you are drunk :/
Crispo
Sounds like an average gen X to me
erinaceus
i have no close friends. no friends at all in fact. i have no problems socializing at work or in the grocery store, im not keeping people at a distance, i simply dont need people in m
Subsound
I mean, kind of no shit.
People cant ruin what they dont know.
People cant exploit what they dont know.
Honestly, many people dont have a filter/limit if they get angry. So what was told in confidence can be used in an attack...or revealed to an audience that doesnt need to know it.
I do have close friends, but over time who they are changes because people change.
mooserunningwater
My problem is that everyone claims and acts like they love me whenever I'm around, but I seem to stop existing when we're not. Like, people who are adamant about knowing everyone's bdays don't bother to even learn what month I was born in, or they'll forget to invite me to events bc I'm not on FB (haven't been in over 10 years, so it's no excuse), or never answer my texts. The hardest part is knowing it's not bc I'm a shitty friend. It just seems I'm 100% forgettable unless I'm physically there.
Fujidude
I've always been the guy with the last name. Everyone else has a first name but me. Being in the military, I kind of get that but now that I'm retired it's the same thing.
Khanamana324
Or maybe they’re neurodivergent.
hmijail
That SiliconCanals thing and their weird-ass 2 long sentences "headlines" are weird
509tigerfish
ForlornFennec
In this economy?
Rezmic
I alienate people over time because I feel like I'm typically the only one putting effort in to keep it going. Perhaps I'm not completely unlikable, but it feels like I'm not worth fighting for.
DickMcStiffens
You beat me too it. I got tired of chasing people for plans and being the only one to initiate them. It could be paranoia but I feel like when people agree to hang out it's only becasue the people they rather be with are not around. I also don't go out anywhere nor try to make any friends.
GratuaCuun
JustDaShoemaker
“Compulsively self-reliant.” I am the exact monster they created, and it is okay. I like who I’ve become.
d3jake
Throw in undiagnosed autism for Hard Mode.
Dimension09
Where can I go to meet people that doesnt cost me money? I would love to be social but I shouldn't have to pay to do it
discostewsm
I like being around people, but not for too long. I essentially have a "social battery", which when I'm around people, it slowly drains, and it can get to the point where it just gets very awkward for me where I feel depleted. When I'm by myself, the battery slowly charges up.
Salticido
For me that social battery drains *especially* fast with strangers
Randomice
It's true. People are the worst kind of people. I wouldn't want to deal with me either.
mohavewolfpup
Also see: isolated from younger peers when growing up (home schooled, I shouldn’t have done that) and then outlets to interface with anyone (camp, ymca, sports, scouts, etc)
madjo
Almost every time I make myself vulnerable, I get taken advantage of, or I'm shunned. Fuck that.
GarmBlack
I mean, my issue is I only feel secure when I'm useful, but only being useful makes me feel used. It's fun.
redgamehunter
As someone who has struggled for years with only feeling like I have value when I am providing something, the no bullshit or platitudes version: You are in the sense that putting in the work of being there for someone is necessary. You aren't in the sense that, if you've shown you care about the person enough to help them previously, your very presence makes them happier afterwards, even when you aren't doing anything for them. It's about demonstration of care, not utility.
redgamehunter
If the person doesn't find joy in your presence even when you aren't doing something AFTER the demonstration of care has occurred previously? Then you might be being used, intentionally or not, and can have an honest conversation with them about it.
QuackMagicAndHerMagicalBeer
When the world feels dark, someone will remember you. I think we all just need to be kinder to ourselves. Big hugs.
jbrightmans
Not wanting to be around people or have friends is antisocial behavior, but who cares
l3ikes
https://youtu.be/tQwVKr8rCYw I can relate
BranDohCalrissian
...maybe because it IS safer?
Addmagnet
Ooh, I can add to this! Not only was I conditioned while growing up to consider asking for help as a sign of weakness, but I also think I'm the only person who can do a job right - how's that for messed up?!
Blimjoe
I was raised to look upon any request for help I made as being burdensome and that any request for help made to me needs to be granted immediately
Sullivanish
Okay, But I *am* antisocial and unlikable.
mikeatike
I know a person thats antisocial and unlikable but has a good number of friends.
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1MTlwanppNmFmeWYxemp2ajJvN3Nja3c3dnlobjg4dmtkcHZsa25oNiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/sH1nPdwHeC0agvI7y7/200w.webp
iamgnat
DasBeaker
Hey I like you. Sorta. Maybe.
StephenDaniels
Can I get a pass for when I'm driving in Boston Traffic?
fedupwithhumanity
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1ZnVwN2t6bmtpMzR3c3czYzM4bXhoeWgyeThsN2JmYjdmcHJtMXI0eiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/kD5cIPhzpGIoVCKsTO/200w.webp
BeaverOnFire
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1MGZsaGw2MjhseTdlZ2NmNWMxbGM5Z3Q4aHU3ZWFzbjRlYXZjNjVwZyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/3o7aCRloybJlXpNjSU/200w.webp
OdinYggd
Same. I am very openly antisocial and am quite intentionally not nice because I don't want anyone getting the wrong ideas. Much easier to just be the asshole if everyone expects you to.
mightybushkin
But you gotta be consistent, otherwise it’s confusing
PineappleLoopsBroether
You can have some LÖÖPS, broether
lalwaysupvotecatsandTHT
Me, I'm a complete and utter asshole.
Fanner50
Fuck, you think you’re an asshole, I cut the rope…
cmpltkaos
I misread "unlikable" as "unkillable" and thought "antisocial and unkillable" was a pretty rad combo. I dunno, maybe you're all 3.
Sullivanish
So far, my immortality has not been disproven.
AgamemnonsMemes
You are ALSO antisocial and unlikable*
GeminiDreams
Aren't NECESSARILY antisocial or unlikeable. It's certainly easier when you are an asshole though
ELKronos
And many are. The headline offers no gauge for proportionality and unfortunately a lot of assholes are now going to think this is true about them when in fact, they're still just assholes
wario37
I’m an asshole, and get irritated when co-workers figure out I’m really not that bad. But, not really going to move into friends area.
chewybrian
I have one friend I could ask for help and I know he will always come through. But, I never ask.
Pikkupanda
I am a rock.
I am an island.
OdinYggd
The four winds cannot move him. But one fart sends him across the lake.
linkdude212
And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries.
SpaceSpaceDomo
For me it started with un-diagnosed ADHD, and frustration with other children since I couldn't associate with them, so I would play alone. Later in life I got a physical disability which further distanced me from others, and made it even harder to associate with anyone. I just kind of learnt to be by myself. I wish I did have people around me, and I'm actively putting myself in situations where I interact with others, but I just kind of assume every relation has an expiration date.
Andunistar
Solidarity om the adhd, it's a bitch.
ThrowAwayAcct0000
Same. I did a lot of sitting alone at lunch with a book, growing up. As an adult, I approach friendships now with the mentality of, "this is cool, we'll be friends (for now)." I don't expect friendships to last very long: people's situations change, they get new jobs, have kids, move away... I'm okay with just enjoying the moment for what it is. I have my spouse who's my best friend, & I have my kids, & I have 2 friends that I've known a long time who I talk to about once every couple months.
TurnsOut42WasASlightMiscalculation
I don't know that it happened in childhood, but definitely a little later. And I certainly had to play by myself a lot
JackingMeHoff
Many live happy lives. If an argument arises they argue with themselves, the makeup is easy.
FckleberryFarms
It is. Add (male) societal expectations and latch key kids and you also get "I'll do it myself" with "man the fuck up".
ZySoua
I hate the “but you are the man” sentence so fucking much. So what if I am? Can’t I be weak? Can’t I just have a moment of total breakdown? I flinch inside every time someone says that sentence
iamthemurray
The version I got is "It's your duty"
QuackMagicAndHerMagicalBeer
I loooooath that so many men feel that they can't cry or show any weakness. My hubby cried when we had our Baby Dragon and then apologized for "being a pu55y." I'm like are you kidding me?! Give me those tears! You love your daughter! 😭🥰
TrumpRapesAndEatsChildren0002
Stop talking about me!
FriendlyNeighborhoodWeatherMan
Have rubbed so much dirt on it I look like pig pen. (old reference but iykyk)
DeepThought42
Oh not the old wives take that you rub dirt on a wound! You are supposed to walk it off ! That what my folks said anyway
FriendlyNeighborhoodWeatherMan
Indeed! Also walked more than Forrest Gump ran. Still walking ... didn't pass that on to my kids though, ha!
Boxingjedi
do ya one better, can't pass it on if ya don't Have kids...Ha...ha ha...
.....well now I made myself sad....
oh look, time to go walk it off again....
(seriously though, good on you for not passing it down)
YpsilantiRomani
Sorry @TinyOctopus I would love to be close personal friends but you in Pa & I am in Mi
jimhotep
I'm originally from Michigan. Lived there 27 years.
QuackMagicAndHerMagicalBeer
Do it anyway. He likes it. 🤪
xmaneds
that's what TCP/IP is for
Cactus21
Not IPX/SPX ?
jimhotep
The clear superior protocol... IP...hrumph!
madjo
Token Ring!
Cactus21
Oh so close but that’s L2
00110001001110010011100000110100
Childhood trauma, we do all have it? Right?
Neurisko
Yeah, you might say that. I have one person I can talk to, and I married her.
Kittenman15
Oh god yes
00110001001110010011100000110100
Oh no, I gave him up first.