ConsummateConundrum
28125
536
21
Jan 30, 2026 4:44 AM
ConsummateConundrum
28125
536
21
Ardback
sometimesarobot
Still ain't gonna get anyone. $500 maybe but not $50
guitarfourtysix
3Rsim
I'd pirate it just so I could delete it.
toshach33
She is the most inconsequential First Lady we've ever had. I wouldn't watch the film if they paid me let alone 50-bucks. Okay, there is one way you could get me to watch it...
DJOldguy
I'd go and see it, just to spray paint the screen if nothing else, throw rotten tomatoes at it, if I could afford them, shake up a soda bottle and toss in a couple of mentos, spray the screen, be a great combination. A $20 hooker and a President... what a match.
PloppyFenis
If they showed it on a plane, people would still walk out
Bear1bear
If you get up out of the seat before its over, is a land mine triggered?
cowgoesmoo1
The movie's gonna be so bad, you'll be praying for that land mine to bring you sweet relief.
firlefranz
If I'm not even allowed to go to the bathroom, I'll definitely leave a landmine on my seat.
pumpactionsunshine
Paid actors watching paid actors supporting the lies of paid actors.
MapleSyrupMafia
While laundering money.
ziralien
I'll pass.
kontroversialkarma
If the Melania movie was shown on an airplane in flight, the audience would still walk out.
Thisisbullshitalready
Ooooooo...good one!!!!
netutoring
A+ for successful redeployment of an old joke:)
kontroversialkarma
😆
chata954
That would be a show me the money up front deal
HisBubbliness
Whitebeardthepirate
so here's what you do: take the ticket. then when the movie begins, start jerking off visibly. if they complain, you can say you're copying Boebert.
ToenailClippingsJar
That would be an EXTREMELY challengi… hold up.
This feels luke deja vu. Like when the matrix is changed by the machines.
samanthadlcruz
you need to be jerking off someone next to you... if you're jerking yourself off you're doing the pee wee herman shake.
roughingupthesuspect
DA1604
I’ve never pirated anything in my life, but I would accept a pirated copy of this because I kind of want to see just how bad it is, but absolutely will not give anyone involved money for it.
mrsdowneyjr
Yup!
doctorId
Remember when conservative chuds were accusing Disney of paying people to see their movies because they couldn't believe a movie with a black or female lead would actually be successful? How much you wanna bet that even with them paying people to see this turd it'll still flop?
Wuz314159
Sadly, I live on the Pennsylvania/Pennsyltucky border. 4 shows today, half sold. (Discout matinees ¾ sold)
arocktrucker777
Poking fun isn’t helping. This shit pisses me off! Blatant open criminal dealings.
jasperthebear
Even if this was showing on a plane, people would still walk out.
REOJackwagon
As if they would actually pay out. A long list of people they haven't paid already
thotterpop
Propaganda film needs victims to spread the propaganda https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1dGhxd3BnOTl0c2N2ZDE4eHpwYjRxbWFhdjBnZHo2bTlhYzJ2bGR5ciZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/rou0CTAp6Z8VW/200w.webp
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
Yeah, the "must remain seated" part suggests they don't pay up front. Which means when it's over and people walk out there'll be no one to claim their money from.
QuietGiant
I mean, professional seat filler is a thing in showbiz (usually minimum wage). I guess it depends on who's paying for this.
ePluribus
How much does Trump owe restaurants and fast food outlets for meals he promised to pay for and never did?
19216801
He is wimpy in a Popeye cartoon
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1cW1ibWxyejVlNmxsOWdhdmcwNGplczZnZml5b2g5YXk5ejN0eHNndCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/13G5zZTKtR7TI4/200w.webp
REOJackwagon
Let's see...carry the one....
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1Y2V5b2JsbHZqb3pvaXlrYThxdXJ3MXRyN2htejl3bmo1cDM3MjB4biZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/bPTXcJiIzzWz6/200w.webp
ePluribus
Yeah, I lost count too. :D
Jaqdakloun
Gonna need the money up front, and I'm bringing my loudest frens.
DamnedIfYouDo
I actually found the post on Craigslist. But here's the thing: anyone can post on there, it could have been that guy just for the social media points.
MrsHowVeryDareYou
That’s what I always think when I see these. There’s no way they would do it this publicly- there are definitely more discrete ways to do this if it was real.
getthismanabeer
I mean... yes they would. They're probably disappointed it isn't as easy to game viewership as it is the NYT best seller list (buying pallets of books and throwing them in a warehouse.)
Their hope is to just get a kindling of interest going which will drag the zombies to go see it, akin to how Elon's bots used to do for him back in Dorsey-era Twitter to shape his perception.
MrsHowVeryDareYou
But there are easily obtainable lists of people dying to be movie/tv extras, not to mention email/text lists of supporters. Wouldn’t they send the request out to those where it’s wasn’t so easy to find?
While I was typing that, I was remembering how incompetent this entire administration is, so maybe I’m wrong.
getthismanabeer
Yeah.. And its probably easier to buy rubes that are desperately looking for stuff than to blast a list of probable non-magats with an embarrassing proposition.
DangerBaer
Move over Crisis Actors. Here comes the Crisis Viewers!
mrsdowneyjr
The film is just more money laundering
SomaliYachtClub
valkrez
It doesn't matter of this film sees a single cent; it is laundering bribe money from Bezos to Trump
Skuggen
firlefranz
What about this one?
firlefranz
0xBADA55
Melania .. you’re not prretty woman .. you’re the Pedo protector .. you’re Ghislaine Maxwell but without integrity
Exyel
I wouldn't say Ghislaine Maxwell has integrity either.
0xBADA55
Exactly and Melania has even less than that
pareidoliaperson
Enjoying her life with daily walks in the backyard and yoga while she could be wearing orange in high security, small compartment jails with a shady jailmate. Her intergrity is lost on not willing to do that.
sarahsaurroar
Not even for 50 dollars. Even if I could bring my phone and watch something that mattered with my headphones on full blast.
mangoinparis
Popcorn alone is 60 dollars
georgejimmydoodle
Why headphones? Everyone in the place will have been paid. Have a dance party.
HandoB4Javert
steelundecided
mycatsings
AlmightyElephant
I'd go with some kind of face covering and a tshirt in big bold letters saying "We've all been paid to be here" on the front and back, so anyone taking press photos would have to edit around any photo with me in it
Chievestevenbouigon
I'd do it without headphones
Goldensands
Do this
Badprenup
Looking through their comments, I think they meant just blasting audio directly out of their phone/tablet to ruin it for anyone else who might be there to actually watch the movie (lol), not that they actually want to watch it.
Chievestevenbouigon
Correct. I guess theater decorum is not something to fuck with
HandoB4Javert
SheepySleepySmuggler
You'll look so silly when Netflix awards Melania the best Netflix movie of the century with another $100m in prize money... Assuming Trump doesn't take the award from her saying "this is for me, they weren't going to do this but they did it for me!"