earthtoheatherr
178177
4099
175
Dec 22, 2017 11:24 PM
earthtoheatherr
178177
4099
175
deezstrutsjustlaunchedintodeeznuts4x
A lady in Everett Washington sat on her boyfriend's face and he suffocated...
that3000lewis
Return to Jesus
LiteralNazi
DEATH BY SNU SNU
DrIvoRobotnik
Sonic world was created by two dumbass Deities with no understanding of compromise, so they don't really have a God or Jesus.
BameGoycolor
Is there a jesus 2?
richfiles
#5 MoonPies was savage! They takin' lessons from Wendys?
palpameme
What does it say behind the cat in #22
BobBillyDoe
It's Merry Christmas period if you live in a country built by European Christians. If you don't like it your shithole is waiting for you.
YouCouldntHandleMyUndividedAttention
I can't get over selling a Wii U for $220.00. Does that thing have the nuclear launch codes on it?
jennym123
The Confetti one is prob my favorite.
DJThuglifeSupreme
The confetti and Razzle Dazzle got my upvote
SnarkySophia
I have seen the confetti so many times and still don't understand why there's confetti. :-/
DJThuglifeSupreme
It's an F-you to the person theyre breaking up with. On iPhone they have things like confetti that play on the screen when you open the text
schmonday
Yo, what is the source of this "elephants think we're cute" nonsense?
Yojoo
I heard it on the internet.
AGuyWhoLikesRocks
foodieboy
I have never had a moon pie !!!
AngryFoodTerror
Dinnerbird
Lies. There's gotta be at least 1/3 of a flower.
srlfish
IRequireSustenance
OnlyPositiveComments
If I did it it wouldn't make sense though.
CyberAkuma
#24 Because the first one is so hard everyone is still trying to beat it, even with the help of multiplayer mode.
blow14me
blow14me
That's funny, y'all still waiting for him to come back
Middlekidlord
Can someone explain the lion comic to my friend? I don't know how to explain it to him. Not for me.
cshadow420
#6 looks a lil funny there
otakudan
#22 A E S T H E T I C
mystik42
At least you didn't end up on rainbow road ...
UltimaCaitSith
#8 Not if I suffocate myself first!
ScrippyChan
#1 Yeah, a guy had me over to his place for Netflix and Chill once, but he chose Kill Bill--of all things--for us to watch. I'd never...
ScrippyChan
...seen the film before. So, when he started trying to be sexy, this is pretty much what I said. I mean, Kill Bill was on. Dumbass.
vinny8boberano
Attention viewers: Chill has been postponed due to awesome viewing experience. Plan accordingly.
ScrippyChan
I can't believe it took me so long to see it. That shit was fucking magical. And let me tell you, that guy had a GREAT dick; didn't care.
vinny8boberano
This is why Netflix and Chill doesn't work for me. When I'm watching...I'm watching.
ScrippyChan
It seems it's you and I both, Brother. :V
m45k5
Yeah that really irks me too!
m45k5
It bugs me when the tweet is in reverse order, so I have to go back and re-read it but the joke is ruined b/c I already read the punchline.
tomyironmane
IThoughtIWasGoingToHaveAShortNormalNameButTheOneIWantedWasTaken
This one really made me realize just how long it had been since milk came out of my nose:
onadatewithanak
#5 but I like moon pies....
vinny8boberano
High five!
onadatewithanak
Yeah!
vinny8boberano
EccentriCanadian
What are they like? I've never had one.
onadatewithanak
It’s just Graham crackers chocolate and marshmallow fluff
EccentriCanadian
You mean like Wagon Wheels? https://i5.walmartimages.ca/images/Large/826/056/826056.jpg?odnBound=460
SheepInWolfClothing
They taste like the moon, in pie form. Hence the name. In all seriousness, they're marshmallowy goodness and if you try them you should 1/
SheepInWolfClothing
start with the banana flavor.
EccentriCanadian
Love me some of that regolith. I've never seen the banana kind but I'll check it out. Thanks mate!
thankgodfordeaddinosaurs
Porn 2. Haha. Porn is legion. Porn is infinite.
FlyingGorrilas
Goddamn when someone brings a smile to your face about porn with no genitalia, you know it's good.
Talligan
highstream
Porn doesn't do sequels like Mario, it does expansions like WoW
NotASwordButADickinDisguise
Oh it expands alright
Wildzebucxl
Expand dong?
KiwiForScale
Wildzebucxl
Expund Dang
Lookslikethiswasnttaken
Stay, persist, i cant resist... but thats what it takes to be infinite. - Infinite 2017
DrIvoRobotnik
*ᵇʳᵉᵃᵗʰᵉ ᶦᶰ* when EVERYTHING YOU KNOW HAS COME AND GOOOOONE
Jimmmydickgun
If bible so good, why not bible 2? That’s right, return to porn.
DarkNinja2462
The Bible is the Torah 2. Checkmate
jrblast
I thought Christians were waiting for porn 2. Is that not what they mean by the second cumming of Jesus?
ZeroRageX
You don't need a Porn 2 if they just keep releasing Expansion Packs
DickwadMcDucking
Porn updates like 10 year old games.
somecunninglinguist
Kind of makes it sound like you are supposed to return Jesus' porn to him, because it was his in the first place.... *shruggingface*
PureUnadulteratedBait
Porn 2: Electric Pornaloo
NATA5
Fuck yeah. If I die, I die. The spirit is willing.
JARKB
Darkspire
It's just not as fun if there isn't at least a mild fear for my life.
blow14me
If he dies it's just natural selection
Nightcaste
So is the wang
Sage042000
Hell, based on that picture, I'd willingly be her first sacrifice.
vinny8boberano
Hell yeah!
NATA5
I checked out her Twitter. She's okay.
justsome
death by snu snu
quattroformaggix4
Walks over sassily “Hey good looking, see anything you like?” *wink* ..... ..... ..... *stops jiggling from the sassy walk*
oheina
Okay this got a laugh. +1 for you good sir/madam.
quattroformaggix4
quattroformaggix4
Jusmar
I don't think Ivan Drago would be the one riding the D.
vinny8boberano
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areola51
Tf did you get rape and murder out of that?
FireBreathingFerret
MundaneFinality
There is nothing in that comment that implies non-concent. "Dont be afraid to get on top" is not the same as "dont let the man say no to you
DaveTheScientist
I know you wish you were discriminated against, but calm down, you're fine.
NATA5
I don't know what to say to this so have a puppy gif. I hope you're okay.
TheGhostofElizabethShue
#7 Just watch you don't break a dick. That can happen.
NATA5
I've had my fair share of pain. Werf. Also watch out for slapping your own sack.
KaminoNeko
... God, I hope you meant #8.
TheGhostofElizabethShue
...fuck.
Metallica93
concern.jpg
Darkspire
Haha I think you mean
Darkspire
Don't fuck your cat.
TheGhostofElizabethShue
I do and coincidentally that's the last time I use anything but a direct link.
Ozarck
sure you do, pervert.
Darkspire
The cats thank you, your incorporealness.
KaminoNeko
Yes, yes we do.