Feb 24, 2022 1:27 AM
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1245
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AlwaysTrustTheManInABigWhiteVan
Buster's Mal Heart
Curiositykissedthecat
The Eric Cartman of bears
mactoid
Frankly, I’m rooting for the bear.
sinclair5533
"Stay hydrated. This is a threat."
TheSupremeCrabMaster
A truly behemothic specimen. What a lad.
fiorideiliberi11
*Humans build houses in former wilderness. *Cast out wilderness shows up. Humans:
Trimule
*Humans build houses in former native areas. Driven out natives show up"
AnEggOrMan
I want to know how he is capable of getting through the doorway of any of these houses
labellesouris
At least he hasn’t tried to use the doggy doors
TheRedactedTaco
He can’t get enough of those pic-a-nic baskets.
keppler38
Looking for that porridge that’s juuuuust right.
JackingMeHoff
Use a much bigger trap baited with a 30 lb chocolate cake.
4vie
500 pounds? Eluding capture for 7 months? .... how?
DrDadJokes
Classic Hank
TheVampireDante
"Has eluded capture" - but will sit for a pic to go with the story.
SciencePetsComputers
Trail cams or security cameras are the likely source.
Mairoa
We had one that eluded capture for a while, people got cell video from their houses and it left before fish and wildlife showed up
JustBoone
My spirit animal right there. "What are you gonna do shoot me!? I'm so fat I'm bullet proof! Elephant tranquilizers are too weak hahaha!"
Arcygenical
Honestly I could go for a huge meal and a tranquilizer nap. Hank knows what's up.
NightfallEverdark
Eluded capture.... cue the park ranger getting a cut of the snacks staring at the swathe left in the foliage. "No idea where he went!"
suckstoyourauntie
Hank the Tank...he's just streaking through the Quad.
jg03278888
He doesn't look sorry
osmium7six
He's definitely heavier than 500 pounds. I've seen 500 lb bears and he looks like he's eaten them.
glitchead
HAAAANK!
ChickenBankTeller
Just bare with me man, I'm not myself when I'm hungry
ratfaceddog
So close…
donthideyourright2
Interrupt bear in hibernation, get the home invasion.
They simply do not hibernate any more. The purpose was to deal with lack of food in winter. Now they can find food any time - and do!
Bridgiebird
SquigglySausage
"He's a getaway driver, ain't ya Trev?" "Course I am"
keillrandor
Sounds like he's got quite an engine on him...
I’m terrified for this bear’s life! People came into HIS HOME! Now they bitch because he is there…?
JeSuisIvre
Diabeetus
androidspud
Guess no one has enough badges to tame that snorlax
aChungusAmongUs
Now that’s a chungus among us
DasBeaker
Nobody But CHUNGUS!!
alexi1012
This is too perfect! +1
AlwaysFokenSavage
I love him already.
DatTicTacDikDoe
A humongous chungus.
AimlessSavant
Chumby c:
TheRimOfTheSky
God fuckin dammit, if imgur didn't add these huge ass ads between post and comments I could screenshot that chonky boy with this comment
MrStickyCheeks
And what sucks is they are going to kill him. Instead of people paying attention to where they are leaving trash & food.
sweetnaivety
why not put him in a zoo ir something
So let's put every bear that learns to get aggressive with humans for food in human made enclosures with concession stands?
I assume the zoos know how to keep the bear contained, but I could be wrong about how competent zoos are.
You realize that if every bear that acted up got put in a zoo, that would be like, dozens of bears for every zoo, right? Too many to keep
You say "the" bear like there's just one. It's really common and there's at least a few a year just in my region. They need space
Nobody7713
The problem in this case is that the bear has learned that human homes have food. He won't unlearn that.
GoooForPapaPalpatine
A zoo or sanctuary would be better at this point since he may not do well in an environment that doesn’t have easy access to leftover pizza
lbdeuce
did you think before you typed that? there is a bear breaking into peoples homes to eat their food and youre blaming them.... great point.
Yea, I did. Why was the bear "trained" to do it in the first place. Because of shitty humans leaving their food out.
why do you have trained in quotations? do you not know what that means. if youre 7 let me know and i wont argue with you anymore
ImamanIcanchangeifIhavetoIguess
They will more than likely relocate him. Depending on how dependent he is on human garbage as food. The relocation will kill him…
Twrecks123
Why can’t they zoo him?
montyman185
"relocate" in the city I live near was code for bring to the forest service road and shoot it there. There's enough black bears that -
Anywhere you'd move them would put them in the territory of another bear.
TheRealRoyHobbes
If they relocated him he would be dead anyway. He is dependent on humans, Plus can you imagine trying to capture him?
Fuckimgurcunts
I need some honey, nyquil and a forklift, I got it
SeeMyVests
He’s breaking INTO HOMES. They’re not simply leaving food laying around their yards. He’s progressed past careless people and into B&E
MrStealUrMeme
NotAPervert
Bear & Eating
zim57398
How is that mother chonker capable of evading anything?
th30n3and0n1y
https://images.app.goo.gl/5e2bsHupGZPX8qsT9
Typhon2727
He has the ability, if he holds very, very still, he becomes invisible.
Sm9yCg
He hides behind a post.
CaptSchmidtGaming
Hes not evading anyone... hes evading capture. hes a bear. I'll give you all the time you need.
afriCANnotanafriCANT
He could be a master of disguise. Did anybody check if there's a new bear skin rug that wasn't there before the break-in?
Probably can't fit in any of the normal traps they use
Right? Just put a picnic basket under a trap and bam!
shootermcshooterson
Hanks done a rally driving course. Ain’t that right, Hank?
aintnothinbutahounddog28
Ok so you catch up with him, then what?? He's constantly seen, stopping him without killing him is a whole nother matter
crowleytriple6
Well you see, he’s a bear and can kill your very easily.
TapiocaMartini
Have you never seen "Beverly Hills Ninja"?
idiotcube
He is indestructable and unstoppable.
Slim617
Dont think they want to harm him. So they gotta use more passive techniques. He also very chonky. He break thinks like tooth picks also fast
Eazeh
If he gets a ten second head start, there's so much inertia he can go right through the roadblock, the police cars, the house behind it ...
BaldBandit
Just ask the USPS for help. Hank's big enough for his own zip code.
noober69
They say there is a significant overlap between the IQ of smart bears and dumb people
Haemaelaeinen
Dunno about Murican bears but here they are considered intelligent.
NeoDarkElf
I know this one! A park ranger said it while talking about trashcans.
LaffertyDanie1
Absolutely but still...
recliningpanda
Really stupid people chasing him?
well... how do you think he got all chonky
I’d like to think it’s some sort of yogi bear situation
Ok smarty, how would you catch him without killing him once you found him?? Pretty sure stupid has nothing to do with it
Well picnic basket under a box. A large pile of food with iron bearings and I stand around the corner with a giant magnet. Or tranquillisers
AlwaysTrustTheManInABigWhiteVan
Buster's Mal Heart
Curiositykissedthecat
The Eric Cartman of bears
mactoid
Frankly, I’m rooting for the bear.
sinclair5533
"Stay hydrated. This is a threat."
TheSupremeCrabMaster
A truly behemothic specimen. What a lad.
fiorideiliberi11
*Humans build houses in former wilderness. *Cast out wilderness shows up. Humans:
Trimule
*Humans build houses in former native areas. Driven out natives show up"
AnEggOrMan
I want to know how he is capable of getting through the doorway of any of these houses
labellesouris
At least he hasn’t tried to use the doggy doors
TheRedactedTaco
He can’t get enough of those pic-a-nic baskets.
keppler38
Looking for that porridge that’s juuuuust right.
JackingMeHoff
Use a much bigger trap baited with a 30 lb chocolate cake.
4vie
500 pounds? Eluding capture for 7 months? .... how?
DrDadJokes
Classic Hank
TheVampireDante
"Has eluded capture" - but will sit for a pic to go with the story.
SciencePetsComputers
Trail cams or security cameras are the likely source.
Mairoa
We had one that eluded capture for a while, people got cell video from their houses and it left before fish and wildlife showed up
JustBoone
My spirit animal right there. "What are you gonna do shoot me!? I'm so fat I'm bullet proof! Elephant tranquilizers are too weak hahaha!"
Arcygenical
Honestly I could go for a huge meal and a tranquilizer nap. Hank knows what's up.
NightfallEverdark
Eluded capture.... cue the park ranger getting a cut of the snacks staring at the swathe left in the foliage. "No idea where he went!"
suckstoyourauntie
Hank the Tank...he's just streaking through the Quad.
jg03278888
He doesn't look sorry
osmium7six
He's definitely heavier than 500 pounds. I've seen 500 lb bears and he looks like he's eaten them.
glitchead
HAAAANK!
ChickenBankTeller
Just bare with me man, I'm not myself when I'm hungry
ratfaceddog
So close…
donthideyourright2
Interrupt bear in hibernation, get the home invasion.
Trimule
They simply do not hibernate any more. The purpose was to deal with lack of food in winter. Now they can find food any time - and do!
Bridgiebird
SquigglySausage
"He's a getaway driver, ain't ya Trev?" "Course I am"
keillrandor
Sounds like he's got quite an engine on him...
labellesouris
I’m terrified for this bear’s life! People came into HIS HOME! Now they bitch because he is there…?
JeSuisIvre
Diabeetus
androidspud
Guess no one has enough badges to tame that snorlax
aChungusAmongUs
Now that’s a chungus among us
DasBeaker
Nobody But CHUNGUS!!
alexi1012
This is too perfect! +1
AlwaysFokenSavage
I love him already.
DatTicTacDikDoe
A humongous chungus.
AimlessSavant
Chumby c:
TheRimOfTheSky
God fuckin dammit, if imgur didn't add these huge ass ads between post and comments I could screenshot that chonky boy with this comment
MrStickyCheeks
And what sucks is they are going to kill him. Instead of people paying attention to where they are leaving trash & food.
sweetnaivety
why not put him in a zoo ir something
Mairoa
So let's put every bear that learns to get aggressive with humans for food in human made enclosures with concession stands?
sweetnaivety
I assume the zoos know how to keep the bear contained, but I could be wrong about how competent zoos are.
Mairoa
You realize that if every bear that acted up got put in a zoo, that would be like, dozens of bears for every zoo, right? Too many to keep
Mairoa
You say "the" bear like there's just one. It's really common and there's at least a few a year just in my region. They need space
Nobody7713
The problem in this case is that the bear has learned that human homes have food. He won't unlearn that.
GoooForPapaPalpatine
A zoo or sanctuary would be better at this point since he may not do well in an environment that doesn’t have easy access to leftover pizza
lbdeuce
did you think before you typed that? there is a bear breaking into peoples homes to eat their food and youre blaming them.... great point.
MrStickyCheeks
Yea, I did. Why was the bear "trained" to do it in the first place. Because of shitty humans leaving their food out.
lbdeuce
why do you have trained in quotations? do you not know what that means. if youre 7 let me know and i wont argue with you anymore
ImamanIcanchangeifIhavetoIguess
They will more than likely relocate him. Depending on how dependent he is on human garbage as food. The relocation will kill him…
Twrecks123
Why can’t they zoo him?
montyman185
"relocate" in the city I live near was code for bring to the forest service road and shoot it there. There's enough black bears that -
montyman185
Anywhere you'd move them would put them in the territory of another bear.
TheRealRoyHobbes
If they relocated him he would be dead anyway. He is dependent on humans, Plus can you imagine trying to capture him?
Fuckimgurcunts
I need some honey, nyquil and a forklift, I got it
SeeMyVests
He’s breaking INTO HOMES. They’re not simply leaving food laying around their yards. He’s progressed past careless people and into B&E
MrStealUrMeme
NotAPervert
Bear & Eating
zim57398
How is that mother chonker capable of evading anything?
th30n3and0n1y
https://images.app.goo.gl/5e2bsHupGZPX8qsT9
Typhon2727
He has the ability, if he holds very, very still, he becomes invisible.
Sm9yCg
He hides behind a post.
CaptSchmidtGaming
Hes not evading anyone... hes evading capture. hes a bear. I'll give you all the time you need.
afriCANnotanafriCANT
He could be a master of disguise. Did anybody check if there's a new bear skin rug that wasn't there before the break-in?
montyman185
Probably can't fit in any of the normal traps they use
Bridgiebird
Right? Just put a picnic basket under a trap and bam!
shootermcshooterson
Hanks done a rally driving course. Ain’t that right, Hank?
aintnothinbutahounddog28
Ok so you catch up with him, then what?? He's constantly seen, stopping him without killing him is a whole nother matter
Sm9yCg
crowleytriple6
Well you see, he’s a bear and can kill your very easily.
TapiocaMartini
Have you never seen "Beverly Hills Ninja"?
idiotcube
He is indestructable and unstoppable.
Slim617
Dont think they want to harm him. So they gotta use more passive techniques. He also very chonky. He break thinks like tooth picks also fast
Eazeh
If he gets a ten second head start, there's so much inertia he can go right through the roadblock, the police cars, the house behind it ...
BaldBandit
Just ask the USPS for help. Hank's big enough for his own zip code.
noober69
They say there is a significant overlap between the IQ of smart bears and dumb people
Haemaelaeinen
Dunno about Murican bears but here they are considered intelligent.
NeoDarkElf
I know this one! A park ranger said it while talking about trashcans.
LaffertyDanie1
Absolutely but still...
recliningpanda
Really stupid people chasing him?
CaptSchmidtGaming
well... how do you think he got all chonky
recliningpanda
I’d like to think it’s some sort of yogi bear situation
aintnothinbutahounddog28
Ok smarty, how would you catch him without killing him once you found him?? Pretty sure stupid has nothing to do with it
recliningpanda
Well picnic basket under a box. A large pile of food with iron bearings and I stand around the corner with a giant magnet. Or tranquillisers