Depression is acting up again, ignore if you dont want to hear me whine

Job sucks and doesnt pay well, is 60 miles (an hour and a half) away and promised to put me in a class straight away but they took another person hired at the same time as me and an outside hire immediately and left me in the lurch, now I am stuck at a job that is unfulfilling, too easy, doesnt pay enough, and expects me to stay for a promise that in 6 months they wont screw me over again I hate my life and most people dont like me, I am adhd , probably autistic, need glasses and so fucking sick of my life. If I could seamlessly delete myself from existence I absolutley would, the only reason I'm alive is because it would impact my trainwreck of a family, and I am not even sure it would hurt my parents, my mother would use it as an excuse to guilt the rest of my family into giving them whatever she could get out of them. My father would be trying to comfort my bullshitting mother. My younger sister wouldnt really care after about a week. My older brother might be a little sad but would probably "dibs" whatever of mine he is currently eyeballing. My older sister would be okay with it because frankly, she knows I wouldnt have any worries any more, truly I think my closest sister would be the only one who it hit hard, and i think it would mess up the life she has built for herself. I am just so tired of being in pain. And I cant talk to anyone in my life because the only people I know I keep distant because I am scared. I am so tired, I just want to be done.