InfiniteOso
985
19
5
It's my Cakeday ya filthy bastards
In honor of today, I'm giving terrible advice.
May 23, 2018 1:11 PM
InfiniteOso
985
19
5
In honor of today, I'm giving terrible advice.
dead0eye
Will deadpool and wolverine ever get the chance to be in a movie together?
InfiniteOso
ooooh! i like this idea. they already were and it was terrible. Uncanny X-Force forever.
dadyouneverhad
How many tide pods do I need to eat to get my teeth sparkly white? 30 pack on sale but then I won't have money for fabric softener. 23 teeth
InfiniteOso
skip that childish shit bro. go straight for bleach + baking soda + vinegar. White teeth in less than 3 hours.
Abetterusernamethanyours
There's a running inside joke going around my friends that seems to involve me, but I don't get it; what should I do
InfiniteOso
Make an inside joke about them all by kidnapping their loved ones. Trapping them inside an abandoned warehouse with Saw-like traps except...
InfiniteOso
there is NO way for escaping. then next time you see them, say "hey Frank, hows your dead mom?" and laugh all the way home.
Calach
I never learned how to read. Help
InfiniteOso
assuming you can even read this, the quickest way to learn to read is to dive, eyeballs first, into radioactive sludge. the sludge will...
InfiniteOso
cause your eyes to mutate and evolve so that you can understand letters and read them. you'll also be able to see through walls.
Calach
Purchase a seeing-eye dog to read for me. Good thinking man, thanks
InfiniteOso
sackofmeat
I picked up some expired sushi for lunch from the gas station near my work. Should I get some for dinner on my way home?
InfiniteOso
good question sackofmeat. a coworker of mine picked up gas station sushi last week and ended up getting sick and missed a day. it caused ...
InfiniteOso
me to have extra work and needed to stay late. so yes, get the sushi but get all of it &eat it all in one night. and take 30 sleeping pills.
sackofmeat
Thank you. I went back on break to pick up the rest. I left it in my car so I don't forget it & put the windows up so nobody steals it.
InfiniteOso
im proud of your genius. you go girl!
loneliestloner
I put the screw in the tuna. What should I do?
InfiniteOso
take the screw out and literally screw the tuna.
loneliestloner
Instructions unclear I threw the tuna out and put the screw in my penis
InfiniteOso
then you win at life. good job.
dadyouneverhad
I saw a bear, but when I tried to get close to it, it ran away, leaving me feeling alone and rejected. I just want a real bear hug. What do?
InfiniteOso
good question dadyouneverhad...lather urself up in honey..wait..dad? where have u been?! ive been waitin for u for years! come back home :'(
dadyouneverhad
And come back to your mother enjoy handed? Never! Big Snoot is real, and I'm bringing him back, in a headlock if I have to!
InfiniteOso
GREAT! cover yourself in honey and shout "Winnie the Pooh, i challenge you to a duel." Smokey the Bear will take this as a challenge...
InfiniteOso
to his strength, as he clearly is superior. Then Baloo from Jungle Book will appear and you can taint punch him in one shot. get your hug..
InfiniteOso
and come home.
FerrousBuehler
All the kids at school bully me and the girl I like rejected me. How do I get back into their good graces? (Satire btw)
Calach
The only way to become cool
v
InfiniteOso
Ah, im glad you brought this to my attention. this is a huge problem these days. i say, you perform a home vasectomy, except completely ...
InfiniteOso
remove your balls and mail them to Trump so that he can digest them and become immortal. Then paint your skin blue, go to school, and ...
InfiniteOso
sing Katy Perry's "firework" at lunch. Go home, drink bleach, and take a nap.
FerrousBuehler
Thanks imgur oracle!