cuddlyminion
524964
11157
387
Low quality photos, high quality laugh
JanoahDavis42688
Here in Colorado the teachers would shrug it off
cuddlyminion
Funny. I was in Colorado when I posted this.
LordRussell
Take it from experience, your kids will say shit in church you'd never say in a shipyard
BoomIgotyourwalletBoomIgotyourphilliestickets
Like "daddy eats my bum"
baldbear
what a lovely phrase
Bladeroller
I concur, almost as good as "cellar door."
TraitorousGiraffe
We were at the playground the other day when my daughter Yelled at me and said, "Hey mom, do u want me to massage ur buttcheek?"
TraitorousGiraffe
**I was complaining of my lower back all week**
alicks
4-year-old me once learned that yelling "Shit!" repeatedly in church was a good way to go home and not have to go to church anymore.
FeathersPryx
Thats a pretty good strategy
ViolentPotato
Well...she's not wrong....
busbychristian7
Children's time is the best. Get to hear about space and dinos and weird family stories.
JaelTentpeg
My son got behind a Mennonite woman in a store and began to chant "vaaaaggggiiiinnnnnaaaa" over and over.
[deleted]
[deleted]
JaelTentpeg
She didn't react at all, thankfully! I definitely wanted the floor to swallow me up. HAHA!
NoBeardTheIrate
My older sister told a hell's angel to "get a haircut fruit" and called a giant sihk man "a genie mom! A genie!"
xLirael
Thank you for sharing.
ButterfaceTaintClown
The Lord's Prayer?
NotACanadian
I imagine that might get said once or twice in a shipyard.
ratfaceddog
That one, specifically? Weird.
ButterfaceTaintClown
You ever been to a ship yard? It's riveting.
Hillhome
You really have to steel yourself to visit though
NimbleNumb
Still....That's a a beautiful lawn
dighthorse
that kid secretly knows what's up
HarryBlackstoneCopperfieldDresdenIsMyPatronus
You ever wish you could bury a motherfucker in upvotes? +1
chilledcoffey220
"That should quell their suspicions" *packs bong*
Trippyaquariumdude
Hahaha
TheImperiumOfMankind
Green? Oh yeah we have lote of green at our house we just repainted *packs bong*
SubliminalPurrception
MCMords
LMAO
servingmytimeinusersub
"no, I swear, she meant grass, we have a lot of grass at the house" *packs another bong*
FriskyDing0
"She meant modeling glue when she said 'sticky icky'." *huffs rubber cement while packing another bong*
Ohhhlookaunicorneatingasamurai
"I'm so fucking high." *mows classroom*
henryobyrne
Heard this in Towel I'm voice from South Park
Allhailmidgetgoat
Woah
modsm20
97Lukas90
pablodeluxe
Bofa Deez Comments
DarkCrawler901
In Finland, we have a saying: "A beloved child has many names." Weed/Marijuana/MJ/grass/green/pot/blunt/420/chocolate thai/kush/cannabis 1/?
BronzeLeaguePro
That's a Scandinavian saying you Swede-in-disguise! :)
DarkCrawler901
I mean you guys colonized us so we probably got it from Swedes
BronzeLeaguePro
HOW DARE YOU CALL ME SWEDISH! >:(
DarkCrawler901
/ganga/herb/dope/joint/skunk/bud/blaze/broccoli/hash/reefer/hemp/chronic/maui wowie/ganja/kif/dank/doobie/doo-wop/spliff/stogie/trees/bush
DarkCrawler901
bammy/toke/loud/hydro/bubonic/cabbage/good-good/yum-yum/blue sage/buddha/ is an excellent example of this, and that is just in english
servingmytimeinusersub
That's a long fucking saying. Do you pronounce all the forward slashes?
silverravenwolf
It's sad how childhood innocence can often lead to a CPS call now-a-days.
oscarmatic
It's baffling to imagine there might be a classroom where teachers are using only slang and street terms for things.
MovieMoments
Nah it's just them saying cannabis and saying it could also be called x, y and z. Helps ferret out what kids know
technicolorgirls
My elementary/middle school never addressed drugs,I had to ask in front of high schoolers at church why "weed"(like in this post) were bad.
iambowser
Right? When I was in third grade I heard about someone getting in trouble for saying "another word for donkey" and had no clue they ment ass
Polygrammar
Thats what I was thinking. Its a kid, they dont know their ass from a hole in the ground.
Ralpheroo
i dont know what this means but i love it
eetsumkaus
I would like to think I know my ass from a hole in the gr--wait, why does my ass connect to the city's sewer system?
Katalliaan
Uhoh, we've got another one stuck on the toilet.
eetsumkaus
another one?
ATalkingMushroom
She's still got her drink in hand like "Fuck you, I ain't gonna get LESS drunk!"
sbyrnes
75PercentSith
I was looking for that
Flyndaran
grASS from a gardening hole in the ground.
GrImmgur
I had a teacher who said 'lit' and 'fam' a lot.
blu3xG0ld
are you 7?
GrImmgur
No?
AfroSamuraiRM
are you 7? Or can you not read?
Yssboern
Isn't it baffling there is a classroom in America where teachers trick kids into snitching on their parents? That's some North Korea shit...
MovieMoments
Or this far more likely scenario - "Miss, my dad grows weed at home!" "Oh really?" *Writes furiously in the incident book* 1/2
getmo
Oh hell, my mom taking me to the doctors office would question her about my burns n bruises like she did them and I wasn't an outdoors 8yrld
MovieMoments
Matter reported to the head and relevant local authority, parents asked about it, situation uncovered with potential visit from social 2/2
Pheralg
3 children taken away from their parents as precaution
MovieMoments
Maybe in the US, but not in the UK. It takes a serious amount now for kids to be removed from their family home
floxsyu
high school, claimed the school was "private " had to write 4 different essays to get in. after getting in health class was how many terms1/
floxsyu
for penis an balls are there in English and spanish, especially slang words, we had a lot of pregnant teens with teen husbands. 2/?
floxsyu
shady teachers that just make you not want to be near them. during a PT Conference my teacher actually responded with "that's bull" when 3/
floxsyu
I mentioned I didn't have the homework in my bag, as it was at home. fuck that school it was private at all, just super creepy 4/4
Brainsplosion
Not sure what you're trying to say
aguacatedeldiablo
"private" means it's funded through tuition rather than the government, has nothing to do with the quality of the school
[deleted]
[deleted]
aguacatedeldiablo
Or... You know, any private school
BenderBenderBender
And why would a teacher be talking about drugs to a child that young? D.A.R.E. didn't start until at least 10 yo when I was a kid
Nikkiaz
My 2nd grader told me all about DARE facts during her school's red ribbon week
afartnSpartan
Normal public school kid (now adult-ish), here. Definitely had it in 4th grade, maybe 3rd.
amandot
We had it starting in kindergarten believe it or not
Lischu
I have no idea what DARE is, but we talked about drugs in first grade. "don't lick stickers! They are drugs!" I was "who tf licks stickers?"
AmActuallyACat
Yea I had DARE in 2nd grade, they gave us color changing pencils and it was the cats pajamas
Themothedoing
Just watch the vid instead of all this images fools
sarahlyzzibeth
As a kindergarten teacher in Colorado, our poem about gardening in the springtime led to some fun discussions... ha!
Beholdthewang
You know what you gotta do with rats family or not
fitnessjen1992
Ginny Weasley had an interesting upbringing
ElMonstero29
Why do you think she was so quiet and awkward later on in life? She was blazin' it most of the time.
StreetsAheadMemeDude
Snitches get stitches
AndreasEriksen
Fucking gingers always trying to fuck things up!
LongCommentChainAppreciator
@OP repost with pictures instead of a full video...
cuddlyminion
https://youtu.be/BHT72b4aM0o
Xenarion
Why is this taged "gaming"?
NitroHeist
Sauce: https://youtu.be/AyIgVU3lvcA
SayQuietscheEntchen
Thank you!
Magnivore
@OP please
InfiniteSynapse
Goddamn OP sucking dicks again.
Xenarion
Isn't that the real meaning of "weed"? Do people really not know that?
andrew2929
i have only heard it as 'weeds'. usually there is more than one weed.
DeathclawSanctuary
Fucking snitch
theFIRSTroman
Snitches get stitches
awkwardmoment
And then police raid the house, kill the dog, and hold everyone at gunpoint.
sipos0
Luckily, this is the UK. They won't do that. They'll take the daughter and give her to a foster family full of pedos or something.
IllegalDuckling
I just imagined a family full of balding middle aged men of varying shapes and sizes.
imnotinprisonhidingaphoneinmybutt
Weed.
UncomfortableAnswers
Good thing this is 24 nearly-identical still photos; if I scroll really fast it's like you managed to post some sort of "moving image!"
Thewolf1083
lovebuds44
"my daddy smokes 2 kinds of cigarettes, the kind he buys and the kind he rolls his own"
D3f1ant101
But why the fuck is this tagged with "gaming" ?
Jamesly139
Is there a video of this?
TicoMachi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P11RLCbntBI
OriginalCommenter938
That was amazing
Jamesly139
I hate you, take my upvote you asshole.
fillupmycup
IllegalDuckling
Woah dude
fillupmycup
Yeah that one messes with me, imagine if you saw everything like that
HarryBlackstoneCopperfieldDresdenIsMyPatronus
I'm empathizing with your username at the moment. Particularly the username/comment pairing. I'm too high for that gif right now.
BigBearLover
True story here., MY sister is a teacher and one of her coworkers at the day care had a child that said "My dad beats me". 1/*
BigBearLover
All hell breaks loose. They have trained for these situations for years. The school called child services and police where involved. 2/*
BigBearLover
It turned out that the kids dad "beat him" in games but could not express that with his limited vocabulary. Teacher should/need 3/*
BigBearLover
to ask for clarification from the child before jumping to conclusions. 4/4
isildur
3/4 he'll tell you "yes, I went to the moon." What'd you do there? "I rode in a moon truck with mommy" etc. Kid was asked if he'd been hurt
isildur
2/3 understand the difference between a serious question and prompt to play pretend. If you ask him if he went to the moon today, he'll
HowAreWeAliveIfWeAreMadeOutOfThingsThatAreDead
refuse to destroy the one Ring, prompting 3000 years of war and violence against the free peoples of Middle Earth.
isildur
1/2 Someone close to me was subjected to investigation because a teacher asked their autistic son leading questions, and the kid doesn't
isildur
4/4 by parents, because he had mosquito bites that were scabbed because he'd obsessively scratched them.
BigBearLover
Exactly.
rabbiebabbie
I feel like that could have been easily cleared up with a couple follow up questions lol
BigBearLover
Yeah, Which is something they should do. But people freak out more easily than you'd think.
IratetheD
trouble is kids have a hard time understanding questions and can be easily led to say other things
939339293393029408029030
I used to talk about using binoculars to look at tits as a kid. My parents were into birdwatching....
lilskank
I use binoculars to stargaze, typically in my town when I can't get to the mountain for any reason. Needless to say, I've been on the
lilskank
receiving end of a lot of judgy looks, and I've had to explain myself to a handful of policemen. Fortunately, the police believe me when I
lilskank
start explaining myself, and typically ask me questions related to amateur astronomy after they're done making sure I'm not a creep.
lilskank
One officer in particular pulled up beside me one night and was about to say something to me before he saw me watching the ISS, then he
lilskank
happily told me he understands what I'm doing and started talking about how he used to have a telescope as a child. It was heartwarming.
mithiwithi
Wrong habitat for boobies, then?
cuddlyminion
Not in the Galapagos islands
TheGreatBlueHeron
When my niece was little she told her teacher that my brother and sister-in-law spent the evenings drinking and fighting. They'd have a
TheGreatBlueHeron
glass of wine with dinner and discuss politics.
Boobs4Wade
That's cute. Until CPS shows up and takes your daughter and you have to go through hell to prove your innocence. Then your daughter ends up
LetumComplexo
Somebody watched the John Oliver episode on weed.
chbarts
living in a van down by the river.
ThatShiftyMonkey
living in a van down by the river. 2/2
Freakayou
ShibiSF
in horticulture as the super excellent Weed Specialist
spacepirate89
Seriously i was thinking this the whole time. DCFS would hop on this shit
Cananadamn
They inspect and interview before taking children
ilovefamilyguybuthatepeter
Im sure this is why shes even making the video, and it wouldn't be hard to prove their innocence
datMaggie
Protecting against CPS and shit like this is exactly what this conversation is about.
isildur
Yep.
deadendeaccount
But she's white
MerToo
Until you wake up to the bang of a grenade maiming your daughter and a machine-gun in your face from some masked guys screaming FREEZE HALT!
MerToo
http://abc30.com/news/baby-in-coma-after-police-grenade-dropped-in-crib-during-drug-raid/87718/
Boobs4Wade
Wtf?!
MerToo
aww come on, what if they gave a War on Drugs and nobody came?
AfroSamuraiRM
Wow. Goddamn.
PaigeTurner777
See Shona Banda.
Boobs4Wade
Alex Hill of Texas.
grimol
As a CPS worker, this would go nowhere. "Hi little girl, show me where the weed grows." "Okay ma'am, I'm sorry to have wasted your time."
dreadeyeknight
Wow really living in the land of the free....
BreenW
in the porno industry, doing gangbang videos to support her heroin addiction.
TheShadowLloyd
It's getting to the point where I feel like shit for laughing at these comments because of how realistic they can be.
everybodyknowshugostiglitz
Where are you from? CPS here doesn't do shit
SomeBunnyToLove
Pretty much. Just don't parent under the influence or smoke around the kids.
Boobs4Wade
It's not a matter of cps here or there, just generalizing how ass backwards they are in general. A situation like this could go bad
Boobs4Wade
while a situation that actually needs their attention goes by completely unnoticed.
TheShadowLloyd
Or they're at something that needs attention and the bright red warning signals fly right under their noses.
Sassmachine
CPS would probably come out, look around at those marble counter tops and immaculate cabinets and realize taking that child is wrong.
InternetLawyer
they wish those counter tops were made of marble
isildur
Don't be so sure. I personally a case where they subjected a kind, innocent family to traumatic investigation due to a baseless claim.
justsignedupforthishit
In Michigan they take first then ask questions. Of non-responsive children. Then arrest you for what the case worker made up. True story.
SupercalifragilisticexpialidociousShenanigans
Not all of Michigan
justsignedupforthishit
Just the mitten part.
jmuraco
I've seen that in other states too. Case workers love to make up stuff to get innocent people's lives destroyed.
itsybitsyspider
Please don't generalize all case workers. They're not all like that.
justsignedupforthishit
Not to say it happens often, but this case was particularly egregious. DA was a complete asshole, too.
BoomIgotyourwalletBoomIgotyourphilliestickets
In a prostitution ring selling weed and ass like hotcakes
ConstantlySearchingForMyDadOnImgur
Dad?
shriek
The circle of weed.
StRyder91
And it moves us all!!!!!
RelativelyRelevantRelative
THROUGH PIPES AND BONGS
justyourfriendlyneighborhoodimgurian
I'm just here for the hotcakes.
theluckysuccess
KingOfTheAnarchists
I'll take one ass and three hotcakes, please
Ant4N
She seems a little young for that I think
Lutki
Okay this is scary accurate, right now three girls at my shelter are prostituting themselves
whereTheYogaWomenAt
Ya fuck family's torn apart for weed
ScienceGivesMeaRagingBoner
And if they're under age and in Cali they can't get arrested, right?
hearthstoneaccount3
sounds like a good system, lets not punish children for being forced into such a shit position.
cogitoro
Oh c'mon. CPS ain't gonna' take your kids away just because you're a pothead.
ColossalActivist
Of all the reasons to take a child CPS will almost always ignore the fact that you smoke weed
darkdragonempress
CPS gets increased budgets for increasing the number of adoptions and fosterings. Many are decent but a lot of places they seize kids at 1
darkdragonempress
The slightest excuse to pump their numbers up. Certain areas it's also very politic. I had a friend taken into foster care solely on the 2
darkdragonempress
Word of a schizophrenic that habitually ignored her meds. Her foster family has her and her siblings literally sleeping on the floor and 3
darkdragonempress
Visibly neglected. Small town and foster family had connections. They got out by what was technically kidnapping. 4
grimol
I'm CPS and this is definitely not true at all.
darkdragonempress
Again in your area. Many of you are amazing people that do so much good but there are areas that CPS is terrible.
grimol
CPS can only do what the local family court judges allow them to do only after CPS has made a convincing case.
Boobs4Wade
in a dangerous foster home that collects children like pokemon. I love smokin, but you can never be to careful.
ImbetterthanOKImHomerSimpson
Wouldn't it be *too careful?
abacaxi
but then someone adopts her she lives in a lakeside manor with a giant rat and a speaking Lioness. Or Lydia.
112864
smoking is the thing I hate the most on this planet, I'd jump among sharks rather than staying more than 2 minutes with smokers
StubbornViking
Well that's unfortunate, considering you likely spend more than 2 minutes with smokers literally every single day. If you go outside that is
112864
I didn't downvote you, but yea I know, but I'm good at avoiding them, and can hold my breath long time before finding clean air again
StubbornViking
That's fair.
CaitheRaith
1/2 Controversial: I've never heard it referred to as "collecting children like pokymans" but that, to me, is a good metaphor. The quality
CaitheRaith
1/2 Controversial: of life goes down per child but foster homes tend to have billions of children. Why keep "collecting" them. Why though?
Boobs4Wade
$
Jasarg
I like how your answer is just a symbol, but everyone that sees it understands
CaitheRaith
Ohhh. It increases per child?