rawdog
164559
1595
76
Jan 13, 2022 3:09 PM
rawdog
164559
1595
76
Nader393
This must be a Tinder phenomena.
silentwolf1999
Just don't expect me to pay.
StopTheWorldIWannaGetOff
It's so fucking depressing that we have to discuss how dangerous it is for girls to go on a date.
pak0chu
In which case it is completely fair to offer a threesome.
Pizza0Style0Burrito
Right! ?
twerksforfish
i have never done this. as a girl if you are being inappropriate i will leave. or shank you.
twerksforfish
i mean i'm a girl not if your a girl.
tfgr
I wouldn't mind but I doubt it'll be an issue, no one wants to date me lol.
RancidFlakes
In short: Don't date it is way safer this way
GreenGaeasSon
If she wants to bring a friend... No problem! Just let me know, and I'll invite a friend of mine as well so it's less awkward for everyone.
GreenGaeasSon
Of course at the end of the evening, I might ask the friend out for a second date.
ReaperCDN
I'd also like one stationed on an adjacent roof acting as a counter sniper, just in case.
WeAreTheBentusi
Now see THIS I can get behind. I respect any person that takes security seriously.
FriendlyNeighborhoodGrammarPerson
This is why I never sit with my back to the front door or the majority of the restaurant. I must have situational awareness.
awkwarddoubleletters
Oh sure it's cool when she brings her friends, but when I bring my mom...
TestSubject86
I wouldn't mind this, wouldn't even mind paying. As long as I'm not expected to pay. Then we all splitting the bill.
turtlefarm
I find this "man has to pay" so odd. I live in a country where it's very common to split the bill. Waiters almost always ask if to split it.
turtlefarm
Been with the wife for 18 years and they still ask. Even when dining with our kids they ask "jointly or separate" when asking for the bill.
LaughingDonkey
Ah.. Dammit.. I just realized how many times this scenario happened to me in my Yoot. I never understood until now.
LaughingDonkey
Randomly meeting a friend, or suddenly needing to meet a friend. Usualy it was fun. But now I am sad.
Pgoodso
Lot of folks in here don't realize how scary their "OTHER PERSON MAKES MY PEEPEE SOFT, NO OUTSIDE FRIENDS ON DATES!" talk is. Jesus fuck.
NotWelcomehere
What? Huh? Who's in here?!
iamthugnasty
First dates especially for me should either be a group setting or something very public where we can talk. I don't want things to get weird
twfx
Until m a y b e later...
iamthugnasty
And be stuck alone with someone. And I'm a guy so...
Illithidbane
Coffee shop date. Lunch somewhere busy. Or meet up with a few other people. Isn't that pretty normal? (I'm out of touch with dating.)
Biznakis
Lunch outside like food trucks and a nice urban park. Lots of people and space.
DestinyPrevails
And preferably somewhere that can be cut short without a scene if it's not working out for whatever reason. All reasonable to me.
TheMiamiVicePresident
“Here we are, alone on the moon… you smell nice by the way”
Illithidbane
I hope he remembered you need air this time.
suffyr
This is a thing now? Fuck I'm old
DefinitelyNotMadeOfBees
It is not.
suffyr
Thank God.
CrimeSceneShoe
Yeah I've known people who had friends at a nearby table or just hanging around, not acting like a third wheel.
AKallDay
Sounds like doubling the chances of meeting the right one to me.
thefinglongerer
I’ve never had this happen before. I’d probably end the date then and there.
MadeYouLookAgain
I’ve never heard of it either and I’ve been on more first dates than I care to admit.
epicurusaquinas
Excellent click bait
sum41guy
Also one time I immediately became more interested in their friend, but then their friend turned out to be shit, so I disappeared instead.
sianiousMaximus
Lol. Isn’t the violence embedded in society that women have to navigate on a daily basis funny.
NotWelcomehere
If you don't laugh all you have is crying? That's my only silver lining here...
georgedragonslayer
If you don't feel safe going on a date with me by your self. Maybe, just maybe, don't go on a date with me. Just saying.
duckswithfedoras
jfc these comments. Girls who bring friends aren’t trying to be bodyguards. They’re there to make sure their friend isn’t roofied/raped/etc
Causeitsmadeofmeat
So they pay for themselves?
duckswithfedoras
Every year, there is an avg of 400,000+ victims of SA. So many women has been sexually harassed atleast once. Can’t a girl bring a friend?
duckswithfedoras
And not to mention, THE MURDERS.
aznanimality
What does a bodyguard do?
duckswithfedoras
Stop tryna misconstrue my comment. It’s the ppl making fun and saying they should patrol the perimeter, or have snipers on buildings.
Lefthandofgod
If you don't a QRF on stand-by, made of Ex-Navy Seals, you're never gonna make it.
FriendlyNeighborhoodGrammarPerson
Gets paid to physically defend a person, with their life if necessary. So yeah, not the same thing.
cappz3
How are they gonna stop the woman from being raped without physically defending them?
FriendlyNeighborhoodGrammarPerson
Them just being there vastly decreases the chances he'll try anything. The safety's presence is the deterrent.
NotWelcomehere
That's still guarding I would argue.
Artsisdead
So many men here In the comment section have no idea how many women feel unsafe, most of them due to experience, I totally understand 1/2
Artsisdead
And if you don't, then you're way too privileged and should really start being more concious of the harassment women face
NotWelcomehere
Don't say privileged in this case as if it's a negative...I think everyone would LOVE to be privileged in this regard! Assault = BAD!
Artsisdead
What do you think for example white or male privilege stands for?
NotWelcomehere
I know full well what it is, "too" is the thing I'm taking issue with here, don't we all want that?
Artsisdead
He's privileged because it never happened to him, you use privileged when you mean "not knowledged about the struggle of others"
cdlong
Do they just sit there and eat and stare at you and expect the guy to pay for their meal too? There are many ways to make this less awkward
roadhunter
Yes, unless you’re attractive, then it usually turns into a threesome.
thedudeman519
Im going to go out on a lim and say its a case by case thing. "All men" and "all women" don't do shit .
Doggiedogdog
Limb
thedudeman519
Correctomundo
Doggiedogdog
Sorry for being pedantic. It’s an issue for me
thedudeman519
No biggie I do at times as well, it was bound to come back to me lol
DarralHunter
This only ever happened to me once. I went on a date with this girl who brought her friend. I assume it was safety or nerves. But it went
DarralHunter
Awful. She was extremely immature and all night she was mean to her friend. No matter what we were talking about she kept twisting words
BullshitInhibitor
Are you sure she was her friend and not undercover parole offficer?
DarralHunter
Just to shit on her friend. She just HAD to show me how cool she was. Honestly I hadn’t been out i a while so I rolled with it. Maybe
DarralHunter
This is actually what it’s like out there in the dating world I thought. Anyway, I found her friend on Facebook a few days later and I
DarralHunter
Apologised to her. Even though I did not join in, I did not stop it. It was on my mind constantly until I managed to contact her. She was
MithridateEupator
Hey take it as a compliment - when this happens to me it's just the two girls talking and ignoring me
BrazilianThunderPanda
Sorry girl to girl, if you do this it’s trashy. If you want to bring a friend arraign a group or a double date, have her chill in the bar>>
BrazilianThunderPanda
But a man isn’t responsible for feeding you let alone your uninvited friend. If he offers to pay for you that’s polite and generous. >>
BrazilianThunderPanda
But if you expect him to pay for your friend you’re a garbage person. Men aren’t responsible for finding your life.
BrazilianThunderPanda
*funding
KayyEss
Wait what? Can I still expect the guy to pay in 2022? I thought you were supposed to offer to split at least twice and when it gets 2 on 1
KayyEss
I assume it ends up with the girls paying for the entire date??
Gdan79
All my dates the last decade I (as a man) have been expected to pay. Never got offered to split. I draw the line at paying for a friend
cdlong
Usually the one inviting pays, so I'd pay for the date but if I didn't invite or expect a random friend, I wouldn't pay for their meal.
cdlong
My wife would probably be pissed though.
chaosbuni
Transgender woman here. I've been attacked in public on first dates before, even though I was transparent about who I was. /1
jessinthedark
I'm sorry this happened to you :(
TheDanWithNoName
So sorry this happened, that is just terrible.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Artsisdead
Hahaha, let's make a joke about someone telling being assaulted
CitizenClam
FriendlyNeighborhoodGrammarPerson
"Did you bring your dad with you to keep things real? You know... trans-parent?"
chaosbuni
Unfortunately we live in a world that puts women and trans people in danger during a lot of first encounters. /2
JustSomePersonThere
I’m so sorry you had to go through that :-/
CallThisAUsername
Sorry to hear that, girl. Sounds like you meet some of the shitty ones. Hope it gets better/easier.
tankerofquetzals
Don't know why you're being downvoted, I'm really sorry for what happened to you.
IsolatedAsshole
Transphobic assholes doing what they do.
chaosbuni
Exactly. Nothing new. It's a daily thing for me.
IsolatedAsshole
Sorry to hear. For what it's worth you've got allies out there. This is your local cis-ally ready to punch a transphobe if need be.
Bukkhockey
You told someone you were planning a date with that you're trans, & then they (physically?) attacked you in public because of it? Arrested?
chaosbuni
No, they weren't arrested. Many states in the USA still use trans panic defense to justify our murder. That's why we are often activists. /1
chaosbuni
Because our lives and the lives of future queer people actually depend on it. /2
chaosbuni
And police in those states don't really protect trans people. Saying we deserve it. So we fight and we raise awareness. /3
Gheebun
Do you take any precautions on first dates now due to your past experiences, or advice for people who worry about similar?
chaosbuni
I let a friend know where I'm going, I go to public places, I bring a group with me to back me up, and I have pepper spray on me /1
chaosbuni
And honestly I make sure they're fully aware that I am trans and I meet them at or near queer friendly spaces /2
Gheebun
All good advice only made better by using them together. Thank you for sharing, wish the world wasn't such that you ever needed to
DirtPoorFarmerSeedingUsersub
What is wrong with first date being a group setting? Get to know each other, no safety issues. Unless group melee, battle royal ensues
ReaperCDN
Lots of my first dates went down like this. Group hang outs with friends, but we're sitting together. Holding hands. Being a couple.
tfgr
I don't know enough people to consider a group :(
YouThinkThatsBad
Same. I don’t get how people get a group of 12 friends to travel across the globe and I can’t even put together brunch for 4
CaptainFrog
That sounds more like an earlier, pre-first date hangout to me, is all.
AsidRayne1245
Nothing is wrong with it... But I ain't paying for everyone.
CoarseAndSalty
Because the point of a date is the stuff that happens when others aren't around. I'm not going to get to know you as an individual while
CoarseAndSalty
you're hanging out with your friend. And if I sign up for that that's on me but that's not a date.
PodolKev
I feel inviting someone for a drink is better on first date. Day-time, public, and can cut the date short if it doesn't work out.
PodolKev
More relaxed and get to know if a second date is worth it without having to sit awkwardly through a meal if it isn't.
Rurouni182
I think you're right but sadly a lot of women treat dating as 'free meal night'
gggihgg
Its an issue if its expected for one person to pay for food and drinks for the extra people.
itsthevoiceman
Paying for yourself fixes this issue.
drizztx
Paintball/laser tag - so you'll know if your potential partner is going to be useful in the apocalypse.
Bannef
Nothing wrong with that, but it’s probably best to set expectations before hand, and not expect one person to pay.
Bannef
“I’d love to get to know you! Why don’t you join me and my friends, we’re getting pizza tonight.”
BikiniSamuraiBun
That's, technically, called an orgy.
AlmostCool83
Its wrong when they don’t tell you in advance then expect you to pay for everything.
MagicOrpheus310
Brilliant idea for a first date! I'll bring the swords!
HypersonicHero
That's called hanging out with friends. If I'm dating someone that feels I'm not safe then it won't work. And to be honest the idea of
HypersonicHero
My every move being analyzed at the end of the night doesn't interest me. It'd feel more like a committee interview. Besides, if I'm buying
HypersonicHero
Food do I pay for the friends as well?
HypersonicHero
My love of my life and I hung out as friends in group settings and solo several times before our first date. But our date was just the two
Ithinkimlostagain
I think the meme is about who pay for the security guard.
ILoveSpicyPeople
Because I don’t want to have to entertain you because you don’t know any of my friends. That’s weird. One on one somewhere public.
Tomadzo
If she don’t throw a flying elbow off the top rope for me, then she ain’t worth my temporary loyalty/alliance
2graves
It's super lame, hard to get to know the person more deeply, i would think they just wanted a hook up if the first date was with their frien
2graves
D's. Or just to be friends for that matter. Certainly nothing wrong with inviting someone you're interested in to group settings before dati
2graves
Ing. But it's not a date
RabeMeansRaven
Group setting date? This is a date bringing someone else, often unannounced till the last possible moment, and eating on the guy's dime.
TheLeftNugget
Group smash Bros melee, excellent first date
Frogapus
If a guy can best me in a group game of Magic: the Gathering (EDH-style), we can talk about a second date.
seije
what if they just make the game really stupid and fun instead? i got a zedruu chaos enchants deck that all but tryhards love to play against
Frogapus
I think the question is whether it’s chaos for the sake or fun, or chaos for the sake of trolling, because the latter might be a red flag.
seije
mostly it's stuff that changes the rules for everyone, like Intruder Alarm and Possibility Storm; it might break combos or make new ones.
Sensiblyinteresting
Idk, of he plays more than 8 counterspells and 8 sweepers in the deck that's some red flags.
Frogapus
Absolutely. Also, if he’s got some redlined meta Omnath land destruction deck, count me out.
Sensiblyinteresting
If they bust out a group hug deck put a ring on it
Frogapus
I actually main a group hug deck. I want the game to be fun for everyone! XD
HonestCommentFarmer
Hmmm. If I were going to impress a girl over a game of EDH what kind of deck would I choose?
Frogapus
Depends on the girl you're impressing. I like old-school cards, and I'm bored with extra-long combos and denial. But some girls might not.
tfgr
Instant regret of my refusing to learn how to play MTG.
Frogapus
Most magic players bring along a spare deck. And I've never met a nerd that didn't want to teach someone how to play the game.
tfgr
Yeah people did try to teach me lol. I've always been more of a Yugioh guy myself.
mechanicalmind
What about a 1v1 monoU counter/mill?
JPBStory
I'd call that a red flag but...
mechanicalmind
It's actually blue, lol
Illithidbane
Not a Magic player. Can I just DM a one-shot D&D game for the group instead?
Frogapus
DM me in the streets of Sharn, City of Tower; DM me in the sheets.
Kassimila
It's not the 'group' part he's complaining about. It's the expectation that the male suiter pays for EVERYONE, that is the problem.
zenoshogun
Its a useful red flag however, weeds out such people who have such expectations really quickly.
LoudBirb
I have never had that happen, nor felt like the expectation was there. That's some real bad luck if that was the case for you.
Kassimila
Hasn't happen to me either, I never did 'group' dates. Was just trying to explain the post. Which gets downvoted, because imgur is babies.
LoudBirb
Ah, gotcha. It's in FP, so it's definitely not getting DV'd very much. It also seems to me like a weird thing to whine about, I guess.
LoudBirb
I don't think there's any pre-established, social expectation that a dude pays for everyone in his date's group. If they ask, decline.
YouHaveNoodsAndIHaveAnInbox
Its weird when they show up with a friend without telling you.
Eldibs
You're both right.
thedudeman519
Then they are bad communicators and you're better off not dating them
NaughtButOne
Think of it as an opportunity. Hit it off with the friend. Date the friend. Start a successful shop that sells miniature carrot cakes.
DocWats
I'd love some mini carrot cakes
IbeenFarteen
This is so specific, made me lol. I hope you get to open your shop someday
TooMuchDad
Are macarons ok? I’m out of carrots