osstricch14
914
23
6
I’ve never done this, putting myself out for a potential tongue lashing, or an empty audience. I’m struggling with my mental health and my husband is getting the brunt of it.
I think I’m communicating with him, I think I’m validating and empathizing with him, while struggling to support him. He does tend to bottle up and then finally dumps all out when he’s cornered and I’m pushing for more from him. I’m at my wits end of being at home, while having to also entertain 24/7 (it feels this way). I’m between losing who I am so I can keep my marriage (recently married but older and wanting a family) or losing my opportunity at what I truly want. I feel I lose either way.
He tells me I can come to him, and when I have he’s hot and cold. If it’s not directly involving him, he has some sort of path. When it does come to him he gets distant and reactive, but then states I need to come to him because he’s at his wits end of not getting his “fair share”.
It’s hard to share both sides and not make it sound like I’m bashing him, because I’m not, but when I talk to those closest to me, I only bring up these points. I can’t bring up anything else without my emotions and feeling being vulnerable (which is my anxiety/panic setting in), so I feel more dead inside with each waking day. I thought I could do this but I’m feeling more and more like I’m not meant for a happy life or a happy relationship.
cuttysark
Only you can identify what you want. You need to choose, set your goals and go. herapy is critical to this too!
notifybay151
wherethehorriblethingsare
Imgur is not a therapist. Please seek therapy. If he will not go with you, go yourself. If you have a therapist get a new one.
RedFishBlueFishh
Try talking to a professional therapist. They are really good at pointing you in the right direction. Helped me with my marriage.
osstricch14
Like, he and o together? I’ve been in therapy for six years and do get some help but now it’s on me to talk to him more
GenshiV
It sounds like he could use some help with active listening skills. It sounds like he's hitting hypo/hyper arousal states and shutting down
GenshiV
and a therapist or mediator can help with that kind of thing. So can reading the Gottman's books. 7 Principles has some really helpful stuff
GenshiV
for learning how to communicate about difficult topics that have history, elicit strong emotional responses, etc. It's good stuff for anyone
GenshiV
in a long term relationship - not just marriages, familial and friendly relationships too.