Standard DM advice

Aug 6, 2019 9:02 AM

MonsteraDay

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Disclaimer: Wizards of the Coast does not officially endorse the following tactics, which are guaranteed to maximize your enjoyment as a Dungeon Master. First, always keep a straight face and say OK no matter how ludicrous or doomed the players’ plan of action is. Second, no matter what happens, pretend that you intended all along for everything to unfold the way it did. Third, if you’re not sure what to do next, feign illness, end the session early, and plot your next move. When all else fails, roll a bunch of dice behind your screen, study them for a moment with a look of deep concern mixed with regret, let loose a heavy sign, and announce that Tiamat swoops from the sky and attacks.

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monsteraday

Dis good advice.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fuck Tiamat! That bastard killed my dog!

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

You took a dog to a Tiamat fight?

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The dog was a 1-eyed, 3-legged pug my druid found in an alley behind a butcher's shop. My druid died, and the party kept the dog.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The dog's name was Magnets. I had to try to maintain a pokerface while my party used Magnets to test out if Tiamat's portal was 2-way.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My new character had no particular attachment to Magnets, but I definitely did. Tiamat squashed my dog.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm sorry for your loss. Farewell, Magnets.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0