BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
9398
10434
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Out of all of the advices my dad has given me, this shit right here might be one of the best.
Feb 22, 2014 2:55 AM
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
9398
10434
61
andyradicalpossumtackler
Relevant..sadly.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
hahaha +1!
eromitlab
And now, Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey.
WEAINTFOUNDSHIT
Trying to find the courage to ask a girl out:
vxjasonxv
This gives "shit my dad says" a whole new meaning.
Proctarc
Shit, my dad says
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
I actually thought about that for the caption, but I wouldn't led people to believe I took it from the net and rob my dad of the honor :)
vxjasonxv
Good choice
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Thanks mate :)
RUDEDOGG888
I have a feeling Imma die of constipation
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
You just gotta take a leap of fate mate, if it doesn't work out it probably will next time around :)
putthatinyoursmipeandpokeit
Faith*
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
I know, Fate / Faith have pretty similar meanings and spellings, It's my second language, so I make some mistakes :)
MeArePaige
This is the smartest advice with the words shit and constipation in it I've ever heard.
VergilPrime
Hey look its you :3
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
I'll be sure to let him know!
impossibletofu
SO DID YOU ASK HER OUT
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
I did mate, and it went pretty well, we were together for a couple of years, but it's a loooong time ago now, 6-8 years ago probably.
Napoooooleon
I took the instructions literally and now i have a shitty girlfriend
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Why would you shit on your hand???
Lasmodoe
Ohhhh buuuuurrrn
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Classic SirAwesome.... wait! The Second??
Lasmodoe
That's right, my son is the third. I also give him shitty advice.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Oooh, so SirAwesomeTheFirst is your father??
Heisenbergerandfries
That's some deep shit.
quickhand
This should be so much higher
MakingUpAUsernameIsTerrifying
Reminds me of advice my best friend gave me when I was shy. "___, it's yours, take it! But not like rape."
BubbleTeaFox
My mom on premarital sex: "Well you don't buy a car before taking it for a test drive, do you?"
stepbackbud
that is some good ass advice
GeeUknit
You should get that cross stitched for on your wall
skulldrinker
This week, I found the courage and asked out a girl. She said 'maybe' and never spoke to me again. But hey, if you never ask, it's 100% no.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Better luck next time around! Good on you for trying!
plantnachos
*7:45
StewPedasso
...Is there a third choice, Dad?
axelasdf
Take off your pants.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
I'll ask him, but I doubt it!
axelasdf
The third choice would be to take off your pants.
StewPedasso
How about a smooth move?
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
I think that the shitting your pants part is if you make a move and it goes south, at least you've tried even though you "shat" your pants.
StewPedasso
I get it. But since I never leave the house, I don't know first-hand.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
You should try it, it can be refreshing! Or you could hit F5, which is also refreshing.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
No matter how smooth it is. The constipation part is if you don't ever dare to make a move. But I guess smooth moves are the moves though!
StewPedasso
Why I never date without Ex-lax.
TheLastGunslinger
"Don't call me if she's pregnant."
stillcleaning
I like your username.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Haha, nah man he's cool, would've been the first I would've called!
prfesser
"Be good. If you can't be good, be careful. If you can't be careful, name him after me."
xavierjmole
Your username implies that you have not forgotten the face of your father.
TheLastGunslinger
DarkDraega07
My Dad has said these exact words to me.
dontbethatguy
are we quoting fathers? If so "pshh, man."
Azated
"Flappin' around like a dick in a shirt sleeve"
dontbethatguy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FWbdtuYXpI
collateraldj
That moment when this username reminds me of someone I play EVE with...
jonbenwaa
He who hesitates masturbates
sbiddles
Shit's real.
UpvotesForCalicos
My dad's best advice to me was "If you can't baffle 'em with brains, baffle 'em with bullshit."
southernchick
Great dad
ishallbeneitherseennorheard
You man now. BYE.
fictitiousspoon
I just live be the philosophy that it's always better to shit your pants
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Holy shit! The Holy land, my first post EVER on the front page! Now he'll never let me hear the end of it! Thanks guys, I'm honored!!
xkr73
Dude, this is some SERIOUSLY stellar advice.
TadpoleHitler
I'm curious on how it went asking out the girl.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
It went well,but this is a good 6-8 years ago, so I'm not dating her now. But it's sound advice, if you don't dare to lose you'll never win!
TheKingOfUserSub
Juat remember to stop by and see us in user sub every now and then.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
I will! I'm probably much more in the user sub than on most viral anyways! *Kneels before the King of user sub*
CanadianOneDollarCoin
Good job bud! *ruffles hair* now get out there and do it again!
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Heh, don't think that'll happen in the nearest future, but I'll give it a go!
LoganHendrickson
Any luck as a lawyer?
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Not yet, I get my degree in june! But I'm guessing not too much luck the first years, but maybe later on :)
LoganHendrickson
Right on! Earl grats. If you are ever in Missourah lemme know, might have a few traffic tickets you can handle :P
dirtmop
I've seen Liar Liar. Jim Carey was a lawyer and he had tons of parking tickets he couldn't get out of.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Thanks mate! But I think you'll have to come to Norway and do something illegal for me to be able to help you! :)
LoganHendrickson
Isn't that kind of hard there? They seem laid back. Challenge accepted! (If I ever find myself in Norway)
CodeMonkeys
"Please, sir... can you tell us how he died?" "Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, there's no easy way to put this... but his pooper was plugged."
imnotwearingaponcho
Instructions unclear. Had to buy new pants.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
This is fasted any of my post ever have escalated point-wise. I guess it's pretty sound advice. He's going to be so smug when I tell him..
[deleted]
[deleted]
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Sorry, but I said it 5 hours ago, while it was way down on points, It had 30, but it was my fastest 30 ever. Took a good while though.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
And to be fair, I really never though it would, most of my posts stops anywhere between the negatives and 30. Never been viral before.
Never1
This is the kind of quote that would appear on the "shit my dad says" site. lol. Brilliant
TrentHatex
So... Did you ask the girl out?
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
I did! We were together for a while, but it's way back now, like 6-8 years ago. The advice worked, sometimes you just got to take the leap!
CaribouFace
Or take the poop.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
ADirtySmellyHippy
This is AMAZING dad advice.
ALLOFTHEBACON
At least you didn't poop in front of a girl
IDidNotGoToUniversity
That's pretty sound advice from a pants shitter
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Haha, I told him today! -Dad, do you remember the constipation-quote? "Heh, yeah?" -3,500 people on this internet-community 1/
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
called Imgur that I'm a member of liked your quote! "What do you mean 3,500 people liked my quote ??" *some explaining about Imgur etc* 2/
TerraDactyl89
I think they only liked it because they think I actually shit my pants in public though. 3/
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Hah, I was waiting for something like this!
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
asking for updates, I shit you not!! 4/4
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
"Noooo, did they?? that's fantastic!!" He read some comments, laughed a lot, and then he went on with his day, constantly smiling and 3/
FatFiend
I'm not scared about the asking out. I am scared about the actual date. I am boring and can't hold a conversation. :(
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Don't talk yourself down mate! Give it a go, I'll sure you'll be fine, you could just let her stand for most of the talking. People like 1/2
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Good listeners and telling others about what they enjoy. I think you'll be fine!
TheNextBestUsername
You can never tell him. Your life will become insufferable. After he visits you, it could take up to a week to get all the smug out.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Haha, but I think'll tell him, he's going to be so proud the smugness will be worth it! "130 people liked my advice!" going to make his day!
elvie123
Just show him this page. And if possible, photograph his face. haha
allonsybadwolf
680 now :)
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Jesus! That's utterly insane! Haha, can't wait to tell him!!
TheNextBestUsername
You're a good son. Old guys eat that shit up.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Thanks mate! I'll update what he said tomorrow :)
nofearbioishere
1413 and counting ;)
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Or confused... "What do you mean, the internet-people liked my quote?"
tarataqa
INTERNET-PEOPLE UNITE!!
tarataqa
HACK THE PLANET
CanadianOneDollarCoin
What do you mean, "you people"?
ProbablyNotDragonborn
"What is this "imgur"? Son, did you join a cult?"
Zephyrya
But really, we're actually a cult.
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
Haha, I'm laughing just by thinking of this scenario! The Cult-guess wouldn't be too inaccurate though!
stepbackbud
I used to be part of the Christian Cult Job's daughters, this one is way more fun
BeingaLawyerHadBetterBeAw3some
I can imagine that! I'm glad you're here with us instead!