When you take a shit and the first wipe comes back clean...

Feb 11, 2017 11:12 PM

DJMixScribble

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When you take a shit and the first wipe comes back clean...

v

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We call that "A Flawless Victory," my friend

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Who LOOKS at the shit paper?! I just go by feel...and if I'm not sure, I make another pass with FRESH paper. GAWD...you heathens!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You're either confident as fuck or you wonder why your arsehole feels itchy all day

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You know then it's gonna be a good day!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As someone new to adulting, what is this wiping etiquette strangely uniform among mobile meme users?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ahhhh ghost poops. Like the poo never happened

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My username is somewhat relevant!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

then you gotta get a new piece of toilet paper because obviously that last one is a lying scumbag

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Don't be a One Wipe Wendy

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

On the toilet like...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Use wet wipes for added security. A lot of phantom wipes are just because it's to dry.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't Trust your shit

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

--Elanor Roosevelt

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Jul 21, 2017 12:41 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

A little but of both I imagine

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Stupid, what if you do that and you leave and you have some shit trailing down your pants

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

more of a dice roll if you ask me.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nothing better than the perfect turd gliding out of your butt luge and hearing that perfect "ploop" as it hits the water.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I believe the word you're looking for is "skillage"

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Inconsiderate

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yes

9 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

Don't be wasteful. Blow your nose in it.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ok. That got a chuckle. +1

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'll always do a second wipe, because I don't believe it.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Especially after eating this

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

It usually gets less red each time.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Gotta love a one wipe wonder

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

+1 for I fucken love this site @op

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You usually notice it if you are lucky enough to behold "the perfect shit"

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ghost wipes are the best wipes

9 years ago | Likes 109 Dislikes 2

What about ghost wipes with a submarine?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They always scare me though and I have to do another just in case.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I call em no wipes. They're magical.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I feel like you've got the niche of riding coattails of top comment riding coattails of potential FP material completely covered.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

but sketchy. always fold and wipe from a different direction just to make sure.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Even better, the complete phantom poop. It hits the water at the right angle and velocity to slide up over the trap, and the wipe comes+

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

back clean... and you know you pooped, you felt it, you had to, but theres no evidence, none, youll never really be sure.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Haha! I've had one or the other, but never both at the same time.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0