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Resume cheat sheet
Nov 30, 2015 4:30 AM
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afon
As someone recruiting IT gals and guys, whenever I come across a CV that has 4-5 of these words, my brain says "Oha! Buzzword Bingo!"...
freedomofnow
Economized? Seriously? If i heard someone use that word I would think they are stupid.
MonserrSans
For a programming resume this isn't bad for describing what you did on a project.
olba
I guess if I have used any words from the technical part in recent interviews, I would not have gotten this new job. What a bunch of crap
mayorluck
THESE ACTION VERBS ARE 222 POWERFUL TO USE IN RESUME
OolonColuphid
AKA: How to manipulate people who make important hiring decisions with their reptile brain.
volatiley
I realized the potential of this immediately. I optimized my attention by looking elsewhere
advocate112
i administreted the crap outta those servers!
hetriedtokillmewithaforklift
Captain Haddock got a teaching job.
Sairvous
This shit is pointless and stupid
Telruin
:( I can't use any of them... They aren't in my mothertongue.
marsgoose
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT MY MO....oh, carry on
Huggitt17
Not many speak the language of Cthulhu.
shaarlune
Moi non plus :(
Snarkoleptic
Tante pisse.
IsaacEilandHall
Well, force your mother to use them and then they will be! :)
Telruin
It's just right.
sweetnaivety
google translate.. also, where's the words for fast food and minimum wage jobs?
hippybobby
"The ice cream machine is broken" " ding fries are done"
Telruin
Trained, Planned, Downsized, Cut. There are some in there.
sweetnaivety
I cut pizzas does that count?
ObtuseBandit
Cv
visualvendetta
This is so sad. You'd have to be clueless to believe any of this would help.
Cthulhukitten
What's the bloody point?? Just learn how to.. exdpress yourself!? are you people really this dimwitted?
gingerminge
I was animal control. What words do I use for "Dog Catcher" and "Kitten murderer?"
Nikolai5
These posts make me ill.
OhNoNotThatGuyQuickEverybodyHide
Thank you OP.
skitts0519
Is administreted a word?
chesterthegreat
As a former teacher, cannot confirm that we 'delegate" anything.
EducatedKitten
Or, you could fill your resume with actual skills and experience. I find that works much better. Got me my last two jobs.
Fosforo
Harder better faster stronger
zavex08
Dat dat dat dat dat dont kill me
QueenRhythm
Can only make me stronger
UAintEvenGudTho
Pretty sure I used most of these on my EPR and it still wasn't good enough
Nareese
I love these graphics, because stupid, lazy people use them to pollute their resumes, making them easier to spot and get rid of.
Zetor
Not this shit again
radioFREEmadras
I'm pretty sure I don't want to take tips from someone who made this "with recruiter advices" or invented words like "administrated".
IAmHarrisonFord
Its like padding a resume, why dont you, idk, put some of your skills down.
seffles
"Demostrated"? Yeah, you should totally use that when applying for a teaching job. Edumacation dont bee nedding know speeling.
errrgh
Strenghened
seffles
They're totally demostrating their strengh with this cheat sheet.
seffles
I totally just realised I say totally a lot.
AmiEvilYet
Stop stop STOP STOP NO STOP STOP. STOOOOP. You know what we REALLY look for 99.9% of the time on your resume? YOUR GODDAMN EXPERIENCE.
AmiEvilYet
IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE, NOT EVEN VOLUNTEER STUFF, I'M SORRY BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A BAD TIME AND THATS THE HARSH FUCKING TRUTH.
BenSpacey
HOW DO I GET EXPERIENCE WITHOUT HAVING EXPERIENCE.
TXwildlifebiologist
Volunteer, Job Shadowing, Internships, Freelancing, Seasonal Employment, etc.
Sairvous
Experience no one has because no one will let them get experience....
AmiEvilYet
'power words' are such a fucking mess because me and everyone else I know is straight up annoyed at them. Dont annoy the recruiters. Please.
AmiEvilYet
MAKE YOUR EXPERIENCE SECTION ON YOUR RESUME LOOK BALLER AS FUCK AND YOU'LL PROBABLY AT LEAST GET A PHONECALL.
randomchimi
I CHANGED SHIT, MADE SHIT BETTER AND MORE EFFICIENT WHILE SAVING BOTH PARTIES MONEY WHILE PROVIDING THE SAME LEVEL OF SERVICE. (1/2)
randomchimi
That's how I got my recent job. Sold the shit out if myself with what I did in my previous job. (2/2)
IsaacEilandHall
"Administered" would be preferred over "Administrated". (To a lesser degree than "conversed" would be preferred over "conversated")
jamiewritesfic
But "Administrate" is a key word many of the bots search for, and "Administered" will come back w/out that result.
IsaacEilandHall
But other than that quibble, very nice work!
DrAIgernopKrieger
Administer and administrate have two completely different meanings. Converse should be preferred to aa significantly higher degree, as
DrAIgernopKrieger
Conversate isn't a real word, and sounds as stupid as burglarize instead of burgle
idiotn00b
And both would be preferred over "administreted" which is what the picture says.
VeganFeministFlatEarther
Uses the correct spelling the second time it's listed, but agreed that's not the best word choice
IsaacEilandHall
:facepalm: didn't notice that. lol
SchrodingersCatTax
Can't wait to use these to apply for more jobs I won't get!
StompehJones
Not with that attitude.
zavex08
Hi there im micheal cera i am the most accomplished, assured, governed, optimized, computed,conducted muthafucka u wull
zavex08
Ever met so hire me fam cus im broke af. Hekp a nigga out
DoctorWatchamacallit
just saying. I had to apply to well over 50 jobs just to get an interview. I eventually got hired. You will too
VeganFeministFlatEarther
Depends largely on your field/target job. I'm in IT but my first application was for a sawmill overseer, great pay and got in 1 interview
DoctorWatchamacallit
employer is also very often a big factor. I'm a physicist, and industry and academia...not interested. Govt agencies on the other hand...
VeganFeministFlatEarther
Hot damn land a government job and you're set. Practically impossible to be fired
DoctorWatchamacallit
they LOVE stem. especially DoD. and not just the military personell either. Heck, a physicist is in charge of the whole DoD.