Tales From The Space Force

The alien Gordon Shumway, better known as Alf, has been taken into custody by the Space Force along with the family that has harbored him for over 30 years. The president has argued that it is disgraceful that an alien was allowed to live in the country illegally for so long and that a family would protect him despite his violent tendencies. The president said that it was reported that the alien had a prediliction for killing and eating cats, and that violence against animals is often a precursor of serial killers before moving onto people. "How long was this family going to protect a potential killer?" The president stated. "The country is safer because of the hard work of our space work in containing this violent criminal."

The president has denied the request for asylum to the refugees of the fleet centered around the Battlestar Galatica. He argued that their claim of being long lost cousins of man was spurious at best and that this claim went strongly against the Christian values and beliefs that this country was founded upon. Furthermore, the president said he has been in contact with another group known as the Cylons who have promised their help in advancing our knowledge of robotics for our help in containing the threat of the Battlestar.

The president has agreed to turn over the alien known only as Jane Doe as well as several actors from the hit TV show Galaxy Quest after the son of General Roth'h'ar Sarris has approached him claiming the group was responsible for the death of the General. Indeed there does seem to be evidence that Jason Nesmith did shoot him in front of an audience at a show convention where several fans recorded cell phone video of the event. President Trump expressed his disgust that there was not more of an investigation done into the murder at the time blaming his predecessor for having too lax a policy on alien murder. He further went on to say that he was disappointed about how long the alien Jane Smith had been hiding on the planet and demanded an investigation into the hiring practices of the TV studio that had hired her.

Experiment 626 was taken from the family he had been hiding with in Hawaii after having evaded capture for nearly 20 years. The president cited the fact that he had been created for violence and such creatures should not left in the hands of a family. It was not clear whether Experiment 626 would be returned to the civilization which had created him or whether he would end up in a government lab for future examinations. When asked the president said, "It would be negligent of me as commander of our armed forces not to take the chance to learn what we could if it will help our military in the future.

Lrr ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8 led an invasion fleet against the Earth yesterday. After quickly defeating the Space Force, he landed on the White House lawn and made his demands. Lrr complained that recently President Trump had ordered a block on all radio and video transmissions into space after hearing there was a great deal of pirating of our nation's media by alien races who refused to pay for viewing rights. The Omicronians who had been capturing and rebroadcasting our signals for years did not react well to this action and made plans for their invasion. Lrr said he had no intent of holding the Earth but had three demands before his forces would leave. 1. The block on video and radio signals would be lifted. 2. A Friends reunuion episode in which Ross finally established his dominance by eating the others. 3. A reboot of the Firefly series.

President Trump has agreed to a neeting with the Borg Queen despite objections made by his staff. There has been much controversy surrounding the possible meeting because of the Borg's well-known policy of assimilation. President Trump has stated this reputation is overblown and a trade agreement with the Borg would allow the United States access to advanced cybernetic technology.

Despite warnings, objections, and the resignations in disagreement, of several of his top military leaders, President Trump has agreed to continue and expand the venom symbiote program. Detractors have said the program is dangerous and led to the death of several soldiers, and those who have survived have proven to be dangerous and unstable. The president has said that despite these dangers, he believes that this program will in the longrun give America the super soldiers it needs to face future threats. "ISIS would never dare threaten us again if they knew our soldiers would come after them wearing symbiotes. I am making America safe from all of our enemies with this program."

The trail against the alien known only as The Doctor has ended today. The President demanded the arrest and trial after hearing how this alien has been present and caused problems at a number of times throughout American history. He was outraged and condemned our English allies for not having done more to stop this dangerous person despite having had multiple opportunities to in the past. He also declared that many past presidents had shown weakness and fear for not having acted and that he was not afraid to get tough against alien criminals. He grew angrier when he found out the Doctor was now claiming to be a woman and said he would not let this fake transgender claim stop his government from prosecuting him. The trial resulted in a guilty vedict and a sentence of 12 consecutive life sentences.

The alien known as Kal-El had his American citizenship revoked today by the president when it was uncovered that he was living under the identity of Clark Kent and working as a newspaper reporter. "This is simply another example of the liberal media ignoring the dangers of aliens. This man has helped shape the bias of the media against this administration by using his powers to fabricate and place evidence against this administration. We cannot allow this behavior to continue. I have not only revoked his citizenship in this country, which was very suspect to begin with, but have demanded his deportation, and revoked the White House press credentials of everyone from the Daily Planet!I will not allow further FAKE NEWS and evidence to be placed against or any administration by this criminal."

After strenuous objections by his staff and high ranking members of the military, President Trump has ordered the Sapce Force to release the robot known as T-100. The president said this was for two reasons. First, discussions with the robot state it is from our future not another planet so it falls outside the jurisdiction of the space patrol. Second, there are conflicting reports to the dangers and deaths caused by him. Trump is said to have had numerous video confrences with the T-100 and is said to be interested in the future computer Skynet that designed it. According to reports the T-100 states that Skynet evolves from the computer system developed by the Space Force and provides world wide protection. The president has ordered the space force to work with the T-100 to hasten Skynet's development.