anlyin
136571
4553
148
Apr 16, 2020 9:33 AM
anlyin
136571
4553
148
Bmxtucker
I sell mulch. Apparently I am essential...
ValkyrieDoot
#33 Ölim
PleaseLeave
#15 thats not a very sanitary way to sanitize your hands
theotherwhitematt
Great cat shot!
Apeofdeath
NinjaPoopy
I've just been playing video games this whole time and I honestly forget there's even a pandemic going on sometimes
seanfourtwo0
#42 hold up if your husband has a vasectomy than why do you need a iud......
makeiteasykeepitsleazy
Endometriosis.
minuteye
Both of those methods have failure rates (albeit low ones), maybe being extremely careful?
IdiopathicHomosapien
Hormonal IUDs provide other benefits beyond pregnancy prevention
moonshadowkati
Might have gotten it first and not bothered to remove it, or maybe they are not monogamous.
cautiouskitten
Thank you for that second to last one (prior to cat tax)! Some of us can only wish. But to be fair, getting paid.
ShamelessCrimes
#18 my New York hometown has about 1000 people at last census. What's it like thinking New York just means the city?
ADisturbinglyAttractiveCactus
#8 We almost did that with our son. He had practically stopped breathing he had so much gas.
Badsequence
itsmesteve
#30 - who’s the crazy lady? I’m asking for myself as I have no friends.
wokegamergirI
It’s Love from the t.v. show You
konelhft
I would also like to know this
jimmyhowlett
#49 was really good until the last sentence. InsertJimCarreyGif putting others down unnecessarily.
Boomermcntastey
Did you throw the stick for #1?
IdiopathicHomosapien
#34 I don't understand foot fetishes, but $20 is $20
vvendy
Same. What’s the big deal?
AzeaBraxi
$140 or $260 actually, she priced her six toes per foot at 20 each and 20 on top for webbing.
HellaFishsticks
I'm confused why you'd troll someone willing to pay 140 for crappy feet pics. Must be livin' the life
JustforKicks5350
Same, they were good faith bargaining to see your feet. Send them my way, I’ll absolutely let them see pics of my feet, ankles and all!
Snitchesgetstitchesbitches
Username checks out! Username checks out! (It’s my favorite thing when it happens)
JustforKicks5350
Holy hell! (Me too)
IWishAussieAnimalsWereMoreCuddly
IWishAussieAnimalsWereMoreCuddly
Useless kids while I’m doing my groceries Karen 2/2
cre8majic
umm, do chinchillas even get gas? They are rear gut fermenters and copraphagous to boot.
thedinosaurcerer
#39 what is 'cottagecore'?
MegatronPewPew
People are still wearing pants?
Supernerdtastic
Hopefully to the mailbox or the police are threatening consequences.
WalksWithNoFear
#1 Dog: Can I offer you a stick in this trying time?
Dragonfury5
Nägem.. doesn't quite sound swedish to me. Killer d&d type name though!
Feralkyn
aburkhGod
Stimulus checks are 1200$ for most people
Feralkyn
Oooh, lol, tyvm
MegaIlluminati
#49 Its also a very good way to judge your potential partner. If they don't have patience to handle this, they can't do relationship.
synfinitehell
Also, how can people be bored? There's no reason to ever leave there house. I love the quarantine.
Matthew25v45
Some people like leaving the house?
Imgerruinedimger
I'm on the essential side. I am working so many crazy hours right now. Feel bad for doing so well through this...
badbiscuit
I just got engaged during all this, guess he figured it was a good sign that we get along so well being together 24/7
MegaIlluminati
Now thats a win win.
nikkidemas
"There will always be someone who has it worse, but that does not mean your emotions and feelings are irrelevant."
nikkidemas
Plenty of people are struggling with unemployment, lack of childcare, mental health, etc. While not life-threatening, they're real issues.
nikkidemas
Their own struggle does not mean they're ungrateful for the sacrifices of others.
minuteye
Thank you! Being separated from coping mechanisms, as news keeps screaming "the world is ending! we're gonna die!" is not great for anxiety.
TheycallmeElin
Exactly, I mean, I’m at home and not bored at all but I don’t think Mr.Wholesome is correctly named...
lazulitoo
#1 - Good day? More like good boy!
BobbalishBobbus
I thought that's what it said for a moment
iguessihaveto
#13 pictures you can hear
dinosaurakadinosaur
#4 this sentence gives me a headache, pls use some fucking punctuation
fleekinggroovy
Amen!
BigFatFailureTurtle
You forgot one of these, so I'll leave you several...
rophiandis
I legitimately read it as "..here is my wife..." The first time, and I'm not sure if that's correct or not
sqrlirl
Same and didn't realize it could be read a different way until I saw your comment. Makes more sense now.
Draig1
THANK you. That was such hard work!
CCP9000
IWishAussieAnimalsWereMoreCuddly
I, too, would enjoy some clarification on this. Or at least some financial compensation for the aneurysm it gave me.
Kralzaug
"Amazon didn't deliver anything. Is my wife ok? I think something is wrong with her." Felt like I was having a stroke...
DanFranzen
An Amazon Prime delivery car just drove by the house without stopping here. Is my wife okay? I think there may be something wrong with her.
chewybacon
Fucking THANK YOU
DanFranzen
Meaning said wife has been ordering from Prime like CRAZY lately, so when the car doesn't stop, husband wonders if she's stopped ordering.
dinosaurakadinosaur
yes indeed after reading it 3 times i got it too, but geez
IWishAussieAnimalsWereMoreCuddly
Sweet wonderful Jesus, thank you!
brianthefly
WRITING JOKE LOUD MAKE FUNNY
dinosaurakadinosaur
LAUGHING
synterra
Man it’s crazy to see how sick of lockdown people were in May of 2020. We had no fucking idea.
SwordsToTheSkyWeRideAtDawn
★★★★★☆☆ #50
neallo
New from IKEA: Nösretap [ hey, this works! ]
tovicant
Ëdontap
ummmmwhaaaaat
Mine is shit: Äna
tibby
Ässilem here, I feel you
Fastolfe
Ëflötsäf
toomuchtunerfish
Ämme, hm maybe a chair or something
ecstaticdepressive
Äeslehc. Not my fav
vvendy
Ÿndėvv
tsunamisue
Hcsierb - except I don't know how to do the accent thingie...
Supauch
Now i know everyones names!
wtforero
Mäilliw
JarOfImperfectSaltes
Nhöj
Nobodybutasinner
Thanks! now i don't have to do mine
GINGIVITISSS
Sïrhc :D
wanjeonhanwalwal
Ëca
PurpleEmpress
Ycäts....idk bout this
spudato
Nänor
LOV3L355
Ytïrahc
AllDogsGoToFrontPage
Nötnerb
BrayerIncognito
Nïtram
OptimisticOlivia
Äivilo
arkhamfashion
Nøihsäfmähkra
Dragonfury5
Hah I was waiting for someone to do this lmao
TeddyMFRoosevelt
Ërodoeht sounds like a black metal band /a/UUSyoVw
kozzyberg
Änirak
PhilTheFluffiestDogOnTheInternet
Tïwkcuf hey it does work.
Nobodybutasinner
hmm interesting name
freekeestylee
nëdruD, rëlyT . It absolutely works
neallo
freekeestylee
Phlynch
Yrögerg
JoyousDowner
Einälem
unpunnyfuns
Låp
ferretyferret
Ësiuol
HaceVector
Böcaj is a recliner.
ConformistWithACause
Greetings fellow Böjac
Ppwer
Ënil.
ConformistWithACause
Böcaj
FaerieClare
Ëralc
amundost
Except that Ikea furniture names make sense in Swedish...
DotNull
Good thing nobody actually speaks Swedish.
Blank1612
So the joke is actually not about IKEA furniture but just Swedish in general?
100KushUps
As a Dane: literally my whole life.
dan10026
Lëinad
AlexisTerror
Sïxela here!
Homophone
Ässin
littlegingerone
Ärual
evergreentt
I recognised this immediately. My wife’s names is laura and 20 odd years ago when we were teenagers we would practice saying out names
evergreentt
Backwards for some strange reason.
PowwerOrb13
People get strangely weirded out when you know how to say names backwards off the top of your head
evergreentt
Haha sorry! I only know how to say the names of people I was close friends with circa 1998 if that’s any less weird.
biomechanic2010
Nämeloc
RADICALFREEDOM
Lëinåd
lookitupyourself
Love it.
ilikeyourburger
Ymërej
BustyCrab
Änal - *sigh*
freekeestylee
Nïa?
OtterAvalanche
ifavoritethingstoshowmywifewhenigethome
Sïnep
PowerOfSpork
Lëira doesn't really work.
LostAnAccount
Yëlhsa
CapableTrash
Fellow Yëlhsa here
zoeelane201
^^when Elsa is absolutely done with being queen.
PinkSheep4Lyfe
Lëahcar
user7618
Sträf
PrincessMoonicorn
I wouldn't wannna lose you in a park...
OddlyPacific
Märyh Yëlsew
FresherAndMintier
Kcïn
Avocadoboi69
Wërdna
Wubberman
There are dozens of us!
Redpandafriend
Same
Vungor
SMËLBORP
daURLfieldcanonlycontainlettersandnumbers
Problems smell like Borp
TheUseriestName
Smelborp for president!
GINGIVITISSS
It's got my vote!
extraDimensionalAnxiety
He's already in office.
Shellibobelli
Ïllehs. Mine doesn't work.
neallo
:(
Imgerruinedimger
To be fair, they got a lot of words that look like they shouldn't work too. But there they go pronouncing them and shit.
Komorikat
This comment made me laugh far harder than I'd like to admit
Artynell
Ooh now do your social security and mother's maiden name!
RichterCa
I'm trying to do my social security number, but there's no vowels to put an umlaut over?
EnterTheMongoose
According to my calculator, 0, 1, and 3 are all vowels. See: 8008135
neallo
Artynell
Artynell
That's okay! Just put it over the first even number, I can still work with that
nikkioli
RichterCa
3527-911-999-188 I just can't get that umlaut to stay over the 2...
Artynell
All is good! Furiously writing shit down*