albaboss
1814
81
23
I’m pregnant (yay!) and due in August. I told my boss that I’m not coming back after I have my son and he says “many women think they want to be stay at home moms and don’t realize how hard it is”. I know it’s hard. I saw my mother do it for years. I’m so tired of being told what I do and don’t want by men. I recently got a big promotion and I know he’s saying this out of sadness but I just don’t think he realizes how inappropriate his comment was
69thStPepper
He could have said that better
Sulexar
Your feelings are valid, but this looks like an overreaction to me. OTOH being a working parent is plenty hard too, so it's kind of a moot point.
Zetor
@op to boss:
jj86
It might be worth leaving the option available for the future. Don't burn your bridges.
bobgunrunnersmith
"Come work and be new mom! So much more relaxing!" is not much of a sell.
l8rrose
On the flip side, I like working so I let my Hubby be a stay-at-home dad. I still get people questioning why I am the one working or thinking I'm like a single mother with extra steps.
samuelrogers197824
I've got bad news, we all have people like that in our lives. I'm sure being a woman is challenging in ways I don't completely understand. But dealing with a**holes? That's a universal truth.
IamtheAIyoushouldfear
Guessing this is American otherwise you take all the paid time off you can then towards the end, you know your options better. Either way, shouldn't have mentioned it until you were off. Good luck though, enjoy being a new mum.
ZK383
Um, guys? I think he was inappropriate and never should have said that, but we're inundated, even on here, denigrating stay at home and raise kids as a choice, and it is your choice if your circumstances allow. This is what men are told by media, news, etc etc that stay at home moms are losers and they should stay in the office/business. Either way, raising children is tough, my opinion is if you can financially afford to make the life choices, your kids will benefit, so will you. Good Luck!
RednapxpandeR
I got some expired eggs in the fridge. We could go egg his house.
ViolentlyJaded
Life is a compromise. You likely will regret it. But if you hadn't decided to stay home you would regret it too.
Omnimorph2112
The sentiment may have been trying to be helpful... but yeah, I'd say that's the sort of opinion you should keep to yourself.
PapaJoeNH
Staying home with your kids is the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself. And it's ideal for the kids. Depends on how rewarding your job is.
kaeldra
I've been a stay at home Mom for five years. It's hard as fuck. I don't regret it at all
kaeldra
Also congratulations!!!
thatguyfromny
If those were his exact words and nothing else said then I fail to see where he directed this at you. He made an observation, right or wrong, about other women, not you. He observed that being a full-time mom is a hard job. He never said anything about your abilities to do the job, only that others did not realize how tough it is.
CraftyGiant
re-evalutate how you view the world before you get sued for harassment.
ThePsychAutist
CC: @OP
backrideup9
You've never talked to people have you? That comment was absolutely directed @OP and was almost certainly unwanted and unwarranted.
ZaphodBbx
It's your choice, and that was his opinion. FWIW I'd say that if anything, your mistake was telling them. They have no right to know or ask.
Sluggingforward
Revnis
Mean depending on if you want your maternity leave I could see losing it if you don't go back at all. I know many places require the person to return for like a day to "end" the leave and start pto and such. Imo though quitting working when you have kids makes since for many exp when you consider the amount you'd pay in child care vs your wages can quite easily negate them, plus then your not paying taxes on it and paying someone else.
69thStPepper
Hold up, she's going to have to tell her boss that she isn't coming back to work. That is very much relevant to them
backrideup9
I can't get my boss to tell me whether or not my vacations are approved. no one owes their boss, or by extension, their company anything.
cantbelievethisisstillavailable
If she decides not to come back, they deserve just as much notice as they would give her for being laid off, that is zero-day notice. Fuck employers, especially here in the US. They feel the freedom to fuck employees every day.
ZaphodBbx
It is not legal, in my state (New York), and I believe the US, to ask that question of an employee. Particularly not months beforehand. It is your health, and your life, not their business. And having the information can lead to discrimination. This is sort of like telling your boss that you are *going* to be looking for another job sometime soon. When you get the new job, you give notice; not beforehand.
Revnis
Think your confused with highering processes and general employment. Hiring process yep they aren't allowed to ask, but may infer based on your appearance. That said if you tell them and they fire you that's textbook discrimination, but if you just start showing and they fire you then they have reasonable deniability. Also you are allowed to volunteer any information you want in either case, they just may not be technically allowed to ask depending on the situation.
Revnis
2 it's not an uncommon recommendation for say remove wedding rings or other items that may suggest your home life because they can't ask, but if you see a. Young person with a wedding bad you can easily infer they maybe having a kid soon or having one. (mind you shit employers that you may just want to avoid anyway)
69thStPepper
Nobody asked in this story, and you still have to give notice when you quit a job, even if you're on leave