Im in agony

Aug 2, 2021 8:27 PM

gtferrari

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Got a msg saying she had just hours to live so i drove 7 hours to be with her. Was able to speak with her and most of the family was with her. Passed a few hours later. While grieving members would dissappear to raid her belongings and began to argue over what was promised to who.
I couldnt be sickened more by these people. They were too busy bickering that i had to contact other family that were unable to be there and inform them of our loss.
Had to leave as it was too toxic and returned to work.
Just numb from it all. She was such a sweet woman, and was a second mother to me. Raised for the better part of my life.

I've seen similar situations, but it was people desperate to have the thing that they most strongly associated with the person that had

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

passed rather than for monetary gain. For some, not being able to hold on to a certain keepsake is like losing the person all over again.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

When grandma died my dad put a price on everything. It was all bought by family members.The money the was distributed evenly to all her kids

5 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I like this idea!

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm so sorry for your loss.?? People are the worst.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Condolences op~<3

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That really sucks... Sorry for your loss.

5 years ago | Likes 726 Dislikes 1

Happened with my family too. I don’t know if it’s some kind of poor grief skills or denial or emotional distancing but it’s not uncommon

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Makes me think I need to get all my s*** sorted out so there's very little to deal with for others.

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I plan on owning nothing of value by the time I die. I am going to hand out everything beforehand. (Assuming I die after my kids become

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

adults). Anything special that needs to be passed on, I will give to my kids once they move out.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Glad me & my brothers are not like that. I'm broke as fuck but family is more important than possessions. Momma raised a man not a vulture.

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

where theres a will, there a relative

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Grandma promised when I was born to leave me 1 necklace. Aunt shunned me when Grandma died bc she couldnt have it. I was 12. People suck.

5 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Send her pics of it

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Make sure to circle the necklace in red marker, with arrows pointing to it, with a note saying 'this is the thing you don't have. Hahaha!'

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Best advice for anyone. Get an estate running. That way everything is set in stone and you can piss off your family the right way.

5 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

And for all the small things like jewelry, photos, trinkets etc - get them into a safe deposit that only the executor has access to 1/

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

These things have a way of disappearing if not locked up, no matter what is in the will. Magically no one’s seen it in years. end/

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Trying to get my grandma to get her will sorted. I can already see so much drama with a will, let alone without.

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I have coined the phrase "griev'n and thiev'n"

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I feel you. I spent years taking care of my sick grandparents. Family refused to help. When they finally passed, suddenly everyone cared.

5 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Yep same here. All sudden people were fighting eachother after for stuff. I left empty handed knowing I was there when it mattered.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Same. Bastards.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Taking her belongings before the estate is settled can be construed as theft.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Mine wasn't even in the ground and a bitch cousin was already grabbing crystal vases...

5 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I would’ve called that person “you’re a bitch cousin” on that moment

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Money and material things mean shit! Until people realize that, they will never be happy!

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Quick give me grandmas 36” inch tube tv. Sorry for crappy people but that’s family.

5 years ago | Likes 60 Dislikes 3

So who’s the 36” guy on the bench?

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

She used to have a tv in every room. Theyd all be on the same channel but just out of sync enough there was an echo through the house

5 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 0

Aww. Sorry for your loss

5 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Reminder to update your will! I am sorry for your loss!

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You should take all of her belongings, those people will pawn it and sell it for a new iPhone. You would cherish those objects meaning

5 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Tis. One of my aunt's stole my grandma's jewelry as she lay dying. She pawned them for money. It's gross.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My brother wanted a wedding band to recast for his wedding

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Karma, friend. The best part is, they will never know because they are so self absorbed. But you will. Hugs.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You got the best heirlooms. Her time and love. Deep breaths. You got this.

5 years ago | Likes 48 Dislikes 0

Excellent reply. My family is the same as op's.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Great comment <3

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Thank you

5 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

This. I got to be the last person my gramma spoke to on the phone. I got her attention and love. My aunt was selling items that same night

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Its not stuff but memories you have that makes you feel good. My aunt had the house stripped within days. People handle death shitty

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My familys gonna have a war over grandparents estate. A corporation with 6 businesses, 20 acre farm tons of assets and millions of debt...

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Im glad im not involved with those fuckers. Hope they kill each other over it. Bunch of racist fuckwits anyways

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Every time I see a post like this I think "if you burn it all down there's nothing to fight over."

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My condolences op. Stay strong and feel better

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

My siblings did the same when my dad passed. All I wanted was his pocket knife. He always carried it and found it useful many times.

5 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

I got my grandmother’s broken wristwatch. she always wore it when she took care of me when I was younger. it has no value except to me

5 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

THAT is what is important to me. not the material wealth people scrabble over

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Exactly like the things I wanted, everyone else fought over things they could sell, I wanted the dumb little things that were special to me

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I got my papa’s car keys. The car is long gone, but it was the only car he ever owned and it killed him to not be able to drive anymore

5 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

My grandfather has 2 tank cannon shells he used as book ends my little sister dropped one on her foot and broke it when she was a kid 1/2

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I’m gonna make sure to get it for her it would be hilarious.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

From conversions with my grandma, it sounds like most things personal to her will be coming to me. Most of the family are money > history.

5 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Did you get it though?

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yep. He actually had 2. He kept a spare in case he needed to sharpen one, I guess.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My grandmother (who's still alive) once joked that if you want something, put your name on it. My little sisters getting a really nice...

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

...side-table that she carved her name into when she was 5.

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I’m sorry for your loss.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm slowly going to give away everything I want to everyone before I die. Nothing to fight over and they'll already have it.

5 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Then when they don't come visit but others do, I'll know who to leave the large hidden bank account to from all items I sold prior.

5 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Everything I own is going to the one person who will disperse it fairly. If they decide to keep it for themself they deserve it all.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This person is cool with that, right? Bc my family informed me that they want me to dole out the money/items and I DO NOT WANT THAT.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Told them to get an official document & legal rep. I have an unbearable older sibling I don't want to babysit for life.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I have aunts, uncles, and cousins who I will never speak to again because of their greed at my grandparents deaths. I didnt want their stuff

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I just wanted them back. My "family" tried to enrich themselves. Fuck em all.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Big fucking mood. Immediate family cared for a grandparent who had a drawn-out death due to terminal illness. The extended fam didn't visit.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They came in the final days to performatively weep, impose on the tired & grieving caretakers, & snoop through the dying person's stuff.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Some took items (including those promised to other family members) AND they all fought about it for months. We didn't even have a funeral.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I predict something similar will happen in my near future.

5 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Are you ok?

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

yes, thanks for asking. My grandma is still alive but not well. I mean, I could be better :P

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Try and help her get a will sorted out have all the valuables put in a safe deposit box that can only be accessed by an attorney.

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's just an ugly thing to witness. People you were led to regard in high standards bickering in a situation like that

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Same. My grandparents are getting on and a couple of my uncles are already circling like vultures.

5 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Husband's cousin isn't even waiting until grandma is gone to take everything she has. Called APS for her sake and they can't do anything 1/

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Because she is "of sound mind." 84 year old woman has NOTHING left

5 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's disgusting. How do people have so little conscience?

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Drugs. She's feeding his habit. But the state won't step in because she's mentally fit and there's no proof that he's still using.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0