MartianWeasel
53516
758
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I have never been more miserable in my life. I work 7 days a week. Everything is so hard. Each small step is a battle. Everything is relentless. Taking time off makes everything worse because I just fall behind. I cannot get ahead. I actually make less money than I did before the promotion because of all the unpaid overtime.
I am at the end of my rope.
Life isn't supposed to be like this.
I might just start screaming and crying at my desk.
RevN3Adventures
Never. Go. To. Management.
ZaphodBbx
It's hard to escape that 'assistant manager' trap. The traditional solution is to find some other sucker below you and promote them.
leoda2023
The company is just running their horses to death then switching to fresh horses. Definitely ask to trade back to your previous job.
Ellisd83
Management sucks. Upper management is reserved for the sociopaths who dont really do anything except bitch and talk down to lower management.
EmporerDragon
Worst thing about being a manager is you get shit on both ways. Above hammers with unrealistic expectations & below thinks you're a tyrant.
gtotherizzle
Yep. I'll never work management again. I've proven to myself time and again I'm just not good at it
onepieceofgumleft
I apologize in advance for this ... Hope things get better soon.
Lifesforliving
So, so sorry to hear this. Many companies dangle this "carrot on a stick" promotion and treat you like a donkey. If you are good enough for management, take your skills elsewhere if you're able. There are wise people on here who will help so take their advice please. In the meantime just please take care. We are here to help if you want it.
Tyggna
Same thing happened to me, except I was forced into management. That was almost two years ago. I've emotionally been in a very similar place three times now since then. I went to therapy after the first one and that helped me better set boundaries. Third time was last week when expectations were beyond what any human being could accomplish. In each case, I had to find a way to check-out/dissociate for a bit, and that helped give clarity towards the best next steps
Tyggna
For what I'm going through now, staring at the wall for an hour is on my Christmas wish-list
myoldnamewasntverynice
This type of promotion nearly killed my Mom. She was well on the way to working herself to death. Fuck Dollar General.
Illiasa
I've been there. I've been there. Also, been there. I feel for you. My only recourse was to quit my last job. Lucky for me, they were cool about it and just laid me off when I asked. My current job is pretty slow-paced... but I'm still a trainwreck after years of stress. Get out before burnout or other stress-related condition becomes difficult to treat.
umbrellamaker
Despite many offers and recommendations, I refuse to go into management because I see how they're treated and it's simply not worth it.
lightfoot2
*nod* I'd say if this is not for you request to be demoted or quit. There's a reason people refuse "promotions" a lot of times they're not.
SlimSam
You 'murican? Because that's the nation who kills their employees by trying to manage the whole shit show - which started almost 100 years ago - with the worst education on the planet.
TinyOctopus
Delegate. Learn to delegate. And also, learn to say no to things that are outside of your area of responsibility. Two of the hardest things to learn when moving to management from the line, in tiny octopus' opinion, because you're used to the mindset of getting shit done yourself. You get paid the mediocre bucks because you're there to make the overarching decisions for your team based on what corporate/your boss tells you to do. It's up to your team to follow your direction to make it happen.
MikeReese9
My father was promoted to management in his company, and he regretted it. And advised me not to strive for those types of positions. He really didn't have to, as I have no stomach for telling people what to do.
zFUBARz
Been in management for 5 years or so now. It suuuuucks. My staff made some well deserved overtime over Covid (We really were essential workers) They are all now driving Audi's and Lexus's and we are not a wealthy field at all. Since I'm salary now none of that happened despite putting in similar hours. I'm finding a better balance now, but yeah it's rough. Have an exit strategy my friend, the company does not care about you.
zFUBARz
Oh also one thing I've found helps is I built a team of colleagues around me, and vice versa. I help them when we need time or an extra set of hands, and they help me. Less pressure from not being able to take time off etc. Like I said, if the company doesn't care, you find a way to care for yourselves while you're still there.
ilikeyourfaceandstuff
I've been there! After two years, I quit. You CAN move on to something else, but it takes time and potentially months of careful planning. I just slowly started giving up on certain duties I knew wouldn't break the company (i was overworked and underpaid, working weekends with no OT. He told me salary would give me more flexibility, but it actually just let him pay me less for more work). I leaned into the two employees I could trust...
ilikeyourfaceandstuff
...without telling them too much, and they helped step up on some tasks (they were hourly so they didn't mind occasional OT pay), while I sought help from a doctor for my stress and anxiety and sleep deprivation. By the time I quit, everyone knew why and understood, and I still had glowing references. After 3 months of depression and feeling like I went through a bad break up, I started looking for work and got a job 6 months later in a totally different field, and I was HAPPY...
ilikeyourfaceandstuff
...the best thing you can do is tighten up your budget and start saving as much as possible immediately, and prepare an out for yourself.
Kablooeeey
You need to change companies ASAP. Your current company is treating you like shit. Use your management experience to find a new job. I went thru exactly what you are going thru and ended up with massive health issues that nearly killed me. I finally quit to take a different job and....it was like I found heaven. More money, less hours, less stress and the new job loved me. One life is all we get, find some joy at work if you can, even if that means finding different work. Good luck.
pingoo1978
I am a programmer and there are opportunities for me to make more money by moving up to management, but I see what my managers do on a daily basis and frankly I prefer being paid less.
madrush
They couldn't pay me enough to go into management. I'll manage my own work thank you very much
OhIfIMust
Oh, they could pay *me* enough to go into management; it'd have to be a LOT, and I wouldn't stay there very long...
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Exactly. My managers have always worked their asses off. None of the "dead weight" middle mgmt imgur always talks about. No way in hell am I taking that role. Luckily there are other paths to upward mobility in a lot of companies.
FabergeBurrito
At some point you make a choice of what's more important: your happiness, mental health, & overall well being, or your career.
Sufferwell
You're panicked and need sleep and time off. Deep breathes, talk to your loved ones, and ask for support. Then execute the plan to demote or leave. Work is NOT life.
woozle
DameMontague
I can't say this enough. Get out. Your job does not care and would replace you.
Justsomedude90
Lol ya, management sucks. So many people want to move up to management but have no idea what they are getting into.
wiltsjunk
Depends on the company, but first level supervisor is usually one of the most stressful jobs in a business.
Justsomedude90
Yes, that's a rough spot to be in for sure.
DangerousNoodle
Management looked fun in the movies and massive corporate jobs. Never at work, suit and tie, got to boss everyone around. Reality was it sucked. 70+ hour work weeks on a shitty salary, employees own your life, usually standing all day, getting yelled at by customers, and had useless PTO you would never get to use. Only CEOs and massive fortune 500s get to be the stereotypical managers. I left after 3 years. Was offered supervisor at my current paralegal job, laughed and told them no.
DangerousNoodle
A plus though, it’s a +1 on your resume. More opportunities and pay can be available to you. I’m not afraid to negotiate a higher salary when job hunting because of my previous position on my resume.
DumpingSh1tandBeingKind2
Step down, ask to be demoted. Or quit, but you can't live your life like this. Sorry your going through it stranger
DALLASLAVOWNER
https://youtu.be/NwVNuyfhF0Q?t=6
Memyandmine
This. I was in management for 3 years and hated it. I took another job about a year ago. Less responsibility, less prestige, less payment. NEVER BEEN HAPPIER
alt86er
Or simply: Don't do it. They will kick you out or demote you anyway, if you do not »perform«. You can ask nicely, but if they don't play ball, that's probably the way to go.
Ninjainslippers
Do the bare minimum, start the job search. If you get fired in the middle, you get unemployment and you've got a head start. Sucks to have to explain a firing, but it's better than getting fucked over by a terrible company.
JoeT85
Management is not about being able to do the job. It's a matter of directing the people that do the job. Different skill sets entirely. And managing people is a beast
ColmCorbec
I tried this several times and always got talked back around to sticking it out. The first time they tried to talk me out of it I should have seen the signs that they weren't interested in my wellbeing and dipped. Didn't though and several years later went down in a ball of flames.
DumpingSh1tandBeingKind2
Can you look for employment elsewhere? You need to quit that place, you can't go on like this (as you know).
ColmCorbec
Oh yeah no I'm out of the place for several years now. Sorry, I didn't make that very clear in my reply. I've been at a new place for a few years now and things are better. Thank you for the reply though
DumpingSh1tandBeingKind2
Ah shit, sorry for the misunderstanding!! Congrats on the escape dude!!!
ColmCorbec
No worries at all, I wasn't very clear in the first place!
lamagra22
Why are you working unpaid overtime? Work your work hours. If the company doesn't like the outcome, they need to change - not you.
jetact12
In the States, they put the best workers on Salary!! No overtime
Hanska01
Not everyone has set hours, salaried people can be asked to work insane hours :(
MartianWeasel
Because I'm salary and I am overloaded and need to get things done.
lamagra22
Find and fix the problem if you can. If you can't, start looking for a new job now while you have this one. I'm salary too.
Froggie243
No, you don't. Have boundaries and push back on unreasonable requests.
Hanska01
The important question is do you like your job? It’s overwhelming, but do you find joy/purpose/happiness in it?
MartianWeasel
Not even a little. Hated it for years. Thought the step up would enable me to make it better. I have no power to change anything, improve anything, or even reduce any bullshit for my guys. I still have all the bad parts of the job with more bad shit piled on top.
ThrowAwayAcct0000
Screw that crap. Work at your own pace. If other people don't like it, too bad for them. Unless you're literally doing life-threatening surgery, everything else can wait until you're ready.
chickenoodlesoup
I've been there. Try to implement something that will save you time later... if you're spending an hour every day on a task that can be automated or delegated, make that change now. Identify the busy work & get it off your desk.
mike8464
Have you spoken to your supervisor ?,we all assume the company are dicks,maybe they are not.
But others have said it ,deli-gate!
Was work delighted to you before your promotion?.
clutch26
Salary still has shifts / work hours. A company never owns you 24/7. If you signed a contract, its probably mentioned in there. If it isn't mentioned and depending on your area, its probably 40 hours a week. If this ends up being a huge uphill battle, its def time to use your new title and find a new job.
thehappyrunner
I get what he's saying. I'm also in management, and most of the time, companies leave it to you to accomplish whatever you're supposed to be accomplishing. If you can't finish it on time, why not? Nobody's managing your time when you're in charge, they're just looking at the results.
clutch26
I, too, get what they're saying. But I also understand there is more information that they may be missing to make more informed decisions in the future.
DALLASLAVOWNER
Had similar experience, what helped me was blocking time and arranging meetings into "blocks". Mon Wed AM - project stuff, non department meetings, Mon Tues Wed PM - heads down technical stuff, no meetings! Tues Thurs AM, meetings with people I supervise, Thursday PM - whatever is overdue, Friday - catch up day,