CodyBurkett
64022
572
24
Pippin tax!
Today's message from Pippin: "sorry. Sorry sorry" [then charges directly at me squawking]
___
cattothelibrarian
#19 VERMIN SUPREME 2028
copingcabana
#3 "Hello, fellow gardeners . . ."
jackal12345
#2 You think that's bad, wait till you see what the Nine Spheres of magic in WoD can do.
killerwhaleindisguise
#34 (Loose) translation for those wondering: "Where-in a witch was". Heks is witch, toover is derived from the verb "toveren", which means practising magic.
3Davideo
#29 Are those dangly bits poop, genitalia, or both?
baldbear
The Pippin has an existential crisis.
Prunest
#38 And each time, my apprentice decides right when the wind picks up strength to open the front door to ask a question. Bah! Ashes, everywhere!
I swear shes been reading my copy of Siedsho Baub's Divinations, dowsing for MY misfortune it seems. But she shouldn't be able to evade Rake's Defense that I put on it..
Shaddak
#25 An entire bottle of absinthe, and you're probably talking to the raccoons behind the Chuck-E-Cheese
CrowBones4505
#21 something involving nuclear stuff, then
EverNotRelevant
#5 Can I still fuck him just because?
eastend666
#3 That can't be Steve Buscemi, can it?
Wombatish
I was going to call it the BORB before I got to the Snorb, and, well... I'm still going to do that. So nyah.
disabledmoth
#32 lmao years ago I saw/thought of this concept, and finally have a reliable mold to make these babies! Snorbs for all!!!
writerdahling
#6 I'm getting a backache just looking at these.
EverNotRelevant
#22 u mean coffee?
PTKrieg
Is it just me, or is it only ever shitty coffee that has that effect? When I've got a good cup that can be actually savored, no problemo, but when I throw back some trash fast enough that I don't have to actually taste it, problemo.
EverNotRelevant
Sounds like it might be related to the speed of consumption, then. But what do I know, I never drink the disgusting stuff.
EroticZombiePants
#38 Maybe learn more from the air element, and you'll be fine.
DidCatchABreak
Thank you for the excellent wizard dump!
beez428
#5 see: Wizards, 1977
lovejoyrat1
#45 I yelled ‘haaaa’ very loud at work. I am a 911 dispatcher. Good thing I wasn’t cued up.
DietCokeIsMyDrugOfChoice
#18 Pondering the borb!
Eldibs
#4 To be fair, Rincewind did volunteer for the mission to fly to Cori Celesti. He volunteered in protest knowing that he would have wound up on the mission regardless at the hands of The Lady, but he did volunteer.
theobituator
Gotta get working on that scabbard!
goflyblind
snorb and borb, together at last!
TheobromineAddict
#6 two of those would weigh about 16 pounds.
Snooj
#13 The hat is in front of the crossed out circle so this tells me wizards are still allowed.
vampire49
#20 Just let it live in your head until you need to save the world. RIP STP
CyberHexx
#2 Meddle not in the Affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
Meddle not in the Affairs of Sorcerers, because unlike Wizards, they aren't very subtle.
Meddle Not in the affairs of Barbarians. They're just like the Sorcerers, but come with a big axe.
CyberHexx
Meddle Not in the affairs of Bards. Because unflattering songs live long in the minds of drunk peasants.
Meddle not in the affairs of Druid, because there's any number of woodland creatures with sharp teeth that are small enough to go up a trouser leg.
Meddle not in the affairs of rogues, because they don't make locks that good.
Meddle not in the affairs of Fighters, because teeth don't grow back for adults.
CyberHexx
Meddle not in the Affairs of Clerics, because God is not on your side.
Meddle not in the affairs of Rangers, because there's not a good enough hiding spot.
Meddle not in the affairs of Artificers, because Necessity may be the mother of invention, but spite is the godmother.
Meddle not in the affairs of Paladins. See Clerics.
CyberHexx
Meddle Not in the affairs of Warlocks. Just don't. Nothing good will come of it. No, not even if you're "into" tentacles.
Gestalt7
Meddle not in the affairs of necromancers, because your late mentor fights by his side.
waifusouls
Meddle not in the affairs of peasants. Honestly that's just rude and you should mind your own business, really.
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
cryborg
I have always loved the wizard class in D&D because it's like levels 1 - 5: you're weak and scared like something at the bottom of the food chain, but try not to die because if you reach level 6 or 7 or 8 you are going to start to become useful.
JayDeeDubs
It's less like that these days, 4e and 5e wizards both aren't quite as delicate to start, and are reasonably effective even at low levels. The 2e days were rough though.
WarlockWithNoPatron
If you are a 5e 1st lvl wizard who managed to get a 20 constitution, and I am a 5e 1st lvl figther with a 20 strength, and I hit you with a longsword, you have a 75% chance of dying right there. If you survived and I hit you again, you for sure dead.
JayDeeDubs
And a 5e 1st level fighter who fails their saving throw dies to one level 1 spell on a decent damage roll (not max, just decent). Or to two cantrips potentially. DnD isn't balanced around PvP, and all 1st level characters are pretty squishy.
Back in 2e a wizard started with 1d4 HP and no at will spells. It was terrible in comparison.
WarlockWithNoPatron
What's the odds that the fighter fails his saving throw against a lvl 1 wizard? Fighter probably has decent odds of hitting a wizard. And which spell? Catupult does a 3-24. I think that's one of if not the highest damage.
No, they're not as squishy as they used to be, but they're still very squish, and rightly so.
JayDeeDubs
Burning hands is a dex save, which fighters aren't proficient in, does 3d6. Catapult is 3d8 on a dex save. Chromatic orb is 3d8 on a spell attack roll. Ice knife is 1d10+2d6 on a combo spell attack/dex save. If they're a str con fighter, the best they're likely to have is +2 to dex saves, maybe +3 vs spell DC 13 to 15 depending on starting int. Generally better odds to fail than succeed for the fighter. A dex fighter has better odds. But it feels like you're missing my previous larger point