Imgur I just want a tiny advice.

ILoveBrowsingOldRandomPosts

769

TL:DR- My wife is very religious, I am not, I no longer feel love towards her nor do I feel attraction to her.

Okay so there are a few different places to start when talking about this. First I left the Mormon church at 18 and met my wife when I turned 24 to which she invited me to church with her. I was at a low point in my life and went. I felt good being at church and I continued to go. My wife was happy and excited about the prospects of me going back to church. As per usual in the church we started dating and we got engaged and married all within 6 months. But I realised at the end of that year (6 months after we got married) that I still didn’t like being religious. Now it’s been a total of 14 months I’ve been married and I honestly regret it. I don’t feel like I love my wife and when ever I talk to anyone in my family about it I am told to work on my relationship and that a marriage is hard work and all this other stuff. The weird thing about being told to stay in the marriage is I have 2 sisters who have gotten a divorce. I have told my wife before that I don’t feel like I love her any more. I have also told her I am not attracted to her. She gets very hurt but we keep agreeing that we should work on our relationship. Now whenever I say anything about possibly splitting up she gets mad at me and says stuff like “You’re just giving up on us!?!?” And stuff like that. She claims she can live with me not being religious but I know it’s hurting her. I want to get a divorce but everyone tells me to keep going in my marriage. It’s like “you only get a divorce if you cheat on them” in my family but I don’t want that. I want my wife to find a man who holds all of her values and I don’t want to get married again.
So imgur, should I just bite the bullet and ask to leave or should I truly try and fix this marriage?

igobeder

Is she Mormon? If so, start drinking and partying on Saturday, she'll get rid of you.

7 years ago |

She is sorry I though I said it.

Ozzy286

the right attention from the wrong person at a lonely time can fool you into thinking that they might be the one. But talk first. gl bud!

Thank you.

Profscrews

Sounds like you were thinking with your dipstick and not your brain. The longer you drag things out, the harder it will be for everybody.

Arock77

Don't ask the people here for advice.

heisenbug42

Just don’t get her pregnant till you figure things out.

poeticalIrony

this is a very complex issue. id recommend seeing a therapist that specializes in couples counseling, however, go alone. see what they say.

and tell your wife. at the end of the day, i imagine you want whats best for both of you. if she weaponizes your concerns, call her out

That’s really good advice. I appreciate it.

jammasterdjinn

The sooner you admit that you made a mistake and have that honest conversation with your wife the better. Longer you wait, harder it'll get.

adrianontherocks

I read the TL;DR and can already tell you to get a divorce

ThisIsGerbilReportingLiveFromRichardGeresAss

Get out

Fizbantv

If the love don't fit.. you gotta quit.

Love the saying.

ediblepain

What's the point of this relationship if you are not in love with them, or attracted to them?

ErnestDoodler

Just dont have kids.

TheMershedPerderder

Get a divorce. It's easier now than if you do with kids.

Seyleigh

Run before she gets pregnant. Right now your marriage is short enough you won't lose much financially.

IamAllred

I can understand the comfort of the religion during hard times and feeling like meeting “the one” and having your family at the temple &

It is hard to decide what is really the best decision because your family might not agree. But what may be best is start planning.

See what you can afford alone, and without the help of your family. What a life alone really looks like. What took you to that dark place b4

Decide what a proper way to go about divorce is, the cost and how breaking your lease or home looks like. Have a plan. Then you can

Start spending time away from her. See if you’re enjoying the time apart etc. make a PLAN !!

That’s all really great advice mate. The truth is I’ve gone through a lot of that. A couple months ago we went to America to see my family

TheyCallMeRoy

Your family is right about marriage being work. It isn't easy for a lot of people. My wife and I had a lot of problems at about the 1/?

5 year mark but we both talked it out and decided we wanted to work on it. We started taking little road trips together and going hiking 2/?

and other physical activities that allow us to engage each other in a healthy way. Soon the romance was back and legit my 3/?

depression and (sadly to say) suicidal thoughts were gone. We also saw a couples counselor once a week. The point is, it's hard sometimes4/5

but the feeling of companionship and love of someone you enjoy spending time with is worth fighting for. Plus we have 2 dogs which helped.

I guess the problem is I don’t enjoy time with her and I don’t enjoy her.

AvgWhiteShark

These feelings all stem from religion? This seems like a convenient cover. Did you ever love her or did you fall in love with the nurse?

Also, is it safe to assume that your sex life is tame if not non existent?

I’m the one that has a low sex drive in the relationship. Honestly I thought it was Love I thought it would last. I fooled myself.

Sure, I can understand that. Does she have a behavior that caused you to no longer be attracted to her? Did you wake up with the spark missi

Before we got married I thought she was independent. When we got married I realised I became a father to my wife. She depends on me so much.

So much so that I began to realise I don’t want children and I really don’t want them with someone who can’t take care of herself.

PrincePiggo

Firstly you shouldn't be taking advice from random twats like us. However, don't waste anymore time on something that will never work. Leave

The reason I am asking imgur is because everyone has different experiences. I want to see what people say, get different perspective.

Comments (58)