Ayxu22
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Step 1 - Take one chainsaw and violate your log like so
Step 2 - Violate your log a little more, stuff it right in there
like so
Step 3 - Burn the evidence
Step 4 - whilst waiting for the evidence to burn add frying pan and pigs belly
Step 5 - add taters
Step 6 - Onions to taste, I like onions they are nice
Step 7 - Profit
* this is not my log I'm far too trampy to own a log, or a chainsaw
xoezane
I question the wisdom of cooking with a wood handled skillet over an open flame.
SirPegeVonRichthofen
Komia on jätkänkynttilä, mutta hieman huijaukselta vaikuttaa tuo paperin sekaan tunkeminen.
webimgur
Run this through Google Translate ... it's GREAT!
iDontWantMyUsernameToBeMyRealNameAnymore
SOAK LOGS IN WOOD
2fries
It's better than bad, it's good!
spoopinator
it's great for a snack, it fits on your back!
baltinar
SOAK THE LOGS IN WOOD
TheRealEdwardRooney
SOAK LOGS IN WOOD
ImJustaSillyCracker
I"m lost in the woods without my stove!!!...oooo a chainsaw and a cast iron pan.
BanzaiRun
Ooh a piece of bacon...
Rilaeryn
If you have a small axe or large survival knife you could maybe do the same with some effort and care.
unscot
Why do people not like to season their food?
Ayxu22
who takes salt and pepper with them camping ffs
unscot
I guess the kind of person who brings other store-bought food items and apparently camps just outside of a large building.
benscotticus
Looks like you soaked it in wood before lighting it
BattlefieldCounterStrike
SOAK LOGS IN WOOD
evenmoreirrelevantGIF
MyDogJake
STEP 8: SOAK YOUR LOGS IN WOOD
GreatSexWeekend
Logs? SOAK LOGS IN WOOD
ThatBOOFsoundthatdogsmakewhentheyarealertbutnotinbarkmode
If you wood the log before violating it, it lasts longer
McHairyNipples
What's taters, precious?
bachterman
spuds. irish love'em.
HughLaurie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihMMw0rnKz4
HughLaurie
Great. Now I just need to go back in time 'cause I wanted to say this.
McHairyNipples
Just gotta be on the shitter at the right time while you're at work.
AkwardBearHug
+1 for Gollum reference
TheTwoRaptorsYouDidntEvenKnowWereThere
Not much, what's taters with you, McHairyNipples?
InanityWolf
I love how I casually read this in his voice, then moved on. I came back to +1
Poteightos
Hi there.
Ayxu22
Taters, yknow, P O T A T O S, boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew
RipVanFit
Someone didn't get the joke.
Ijustwantquiet
Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish.
GemsAreOutrageousTrulyTrulyTrulyOutrageous
POE~TAH~TOES!
HelloToe
Are you Dan Quayle?
Runikal
B-b-boilem mashem stickem ina stew (8)
Tredecim
http://gallery.zzq.org/d/15796-1/potatowned.gif
BirdsFlyAwayToSignifySomethingScaryHappened
This deserves 19billion up votes
wilhelmsen
HAH!
FlyingBananaHammock7
Beat me to it you bastard. +1
Southtex
You can also split the log and reassemble the pieces to do the same thing.
gandalfofmanycolors
From Blammo
mbhatter
I find this so sexy
ImNotGreatWithBigDecisions
Lost it at 'violate your log'
DieWithMemoriesNotDreams
I really thought it said "violate your dog" the image below was quite confusing
Railgun01
"Violate your log like so", "Violate your log a little more, stuff it right in there"
jkthatsnotme
I did at "Onions to taste. I like onions they are nice."
arpsalot
It was mildly amusing, at best
Ayxu22
you're mildy amusing at best
arpsalot
I know :(
vira4n6
It's been 10 minutes, I'm still giggling about that.
nananashisan
mass violator
blueberrycupcakes
I kept imagining a penis for some odd reason
SerratedGooch
The splitter was really satisfying to watch
FredRico
That violator has gone too far.... like, it needs to learn when to stop.
thehoff37
Nexus...
plazmatyk
Haha ass violator. Haha I need help.
buttshredder
What did you lose? If you give us a description, maybe we can help you find it!
ImNotGreatWithBigDecisions
Are we supposed to just ignore your username?! That is amazing!
Vectorman2
If you don't find it in the first 10 hours the chances of recovery sink way down.
chinablue
Now watch pan fall on ground and ruin everything.
IAMTHESUPERBAGEL
SOAK LOGS IN WOOD
TheUltimateChimera
TheRealEdwardRooney
SOAK LOGS IN WOOD
Amagniventris
This is a bushcraft method called a Swedish torch. Just FYI
MrSpindles
If you are ever at the Glastonbury festival,find the man with the handsome moustache,he sells these at a reasonable price at his giant table
icelandicsealbear
FYI, this is not better than just building a fire. Unless it's in snow. The entire point of this is to keep the flame out of the snow.
IdiotMcNoobtard
Why Swedish torch? Does it spend decades raiding other logs before settling for peaceful social-democracy?
Woffenhorst
*communism
RottGut
You should look up the difference! History is fun, and informative. Knowing basic social structures will help you from looking silly.
BaldEagleBeater666
Jätkänkynttilä perkele
ProProcrastinater
It's called a finnish torch in Denmark, they "invented" it
Rasmus0909
In Denmark, we call it a Finnish Torch because Swedes.
rwidebrant
As a Swede, I can tell you that it's true that that's what it's called. However it was actually our Finnish siblings who invented it. Kiitos
BenefitOfMrKite
Varsågod
Mergul
In Russian, it's actually called a Finnish candle.
walog
in Finland, it's called Jätkänkynttilä (Candle of the timber rafting worker)
Raglefant
I wanna bushcraft your method with my swedish torch
Analsurprise
I'm yours
charlietrundlethegreat
I was bush crafting ur mum with my Swedish torch
NoiceSmart
I...yes.
Muttmutt
My goal is to use that phrase 3 times today ..... At work
Treske23
Muttmutt I bid you goodluck. If fired please post.
Muttmutt
Luckily I work with the elderly. 1 down.... 2 to go
spoonageddon
Update? Did you make all 3?
Treske23
That kinda sounds like you're killing them and have two left on the hit list....
Ayxu22
wat
Raglefant
You heard me
lostcauseindustries
I followed this conversation too long...
Ayxu22
alright you've earned this one, @Amagniventris lie down and bite the pillow
KurokoAS
Rip when the logs gets completely charred but the food is still cooking
Ayxu22
please dont leave open fires un-attended
BunsaSteel
This is called a Swedish Fire Torch
zagibu
We call it a finnish candle here.
sometimesipostsockshere
no it isn't, it's jätkänkynttilä
cutthroatink15
SOAK LOG IN WOOD
Arrrrgggggghhhh
Don't you usually cook Onions first or does it depend on what you're cooking?
Treske23
Is there a "soak your log in wood" joke I'm unaware of?
NotSoSmartAlek
typo on a post yesterday. should have been "in water".
Treske23
+1 thank you for the explanation
pongochuck
SOAK THE LOGS IN WOOD
Kitakita
Jumping straight to the point. nice.
CindyWho4
...THAT is step 1.
WinterSavagey
SOAK WOOD IN LOGS
maniacalmacaroni
I knew this was coming the second I saw a log. +1
DumboFighter
IN WOOD, CORAL!
crazydaisy13
Coolreferencebro.gif
soso456
Much more than just a reference now
ISarabi
I keep seeing this. What's the original context?
MeanMisterClean
Something not worth paying attention to.
LaughingLlamas
As a fellow laugh llama, I agree
Krestoverson
SOAKING LOGS IN WOOD
TheUltimateChimera
[deleted]
[deleted]
blurrycats
What the hell does "soak log in wood" mean?? Soak in WOOD? HUh?
pongochuck
Read all the comments on that post I linked above. Hint it's a joke
ISarabi
Thank you! (The post with that reply is actually pretty ingenious.)
TheUltimateChimera
notirrelevant
That's going to be a permanent fixture in the Imgur lexicon, alongside "word bank," "danger noodle" and *groan* "Edward Macaroni Fork"
WhyShouldILoveYou
I really hope it wont. It was boring and unfunny the after the first two minutes tbfh.
slowpokeonaslowday
You dare speak his name YOU SON OF A BITCH
JabbaTheWat
24 hits with alt+f for Soak.... It should be 1 reference per post!
DumbShitIsMyTrigger
SOAKS LOGS IN WOOD
btow
Thank you.
TheRealEdwardRooney
SOAK LOGS IN WOOD
CyriousLordofDerp
SOAK LOGS IN WOOD
TheUltimateChimera
poopsthatgoberloop
SOAK LOGS IN WOOD
TheRealEdwardRooney
SOAK LOGS IN WOOD
TheRealEdwardRooney
SOAK LOGS IN WOOD
MrSma
Jätkänkynttilä
sometimesipostsockshere
TORI?
AuroraNora33
Torille? idk what this means but I have been told this is how you commonicate with Finns
MrSma
Yeah, i guess. Btw Jätkänkynttilä means "Dudes Candle" which this voilated log is called in finnish. It's kinda tradition in here.
MrSma
*violated
AuroraNora33
I was able to understand that. I'm northern Norwegian so I have some experience with Finnish. I just don't know what torille means
MrSma
It means: to the marketplace
MrSma
Usually when Finland accomplishes something or is mentioned somewhere people tend to go to the marketplace and celebrate that.
AuroraNora33
So that's what it means! I love Finnish culture
SarcasticComment
For the person who oddly owns a chainsaw, but not a stove
NahhhhTopppennngaaaNaNaMeeesieBaBaaa
For the hungry chainsaw murderer in all of us.
Worble
http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110217190340/theamericandad/images/thumb/5/5a/Buckle.jpg/500px-Buckle.jpg
StonesOnTheHill
If one has an appropriate log, one can split it twice with an ax, prop it up with some rocks, and have a similar result.
HelloToe
Can't believe no one has linked this yet. http://imgur.com/BNL0cXE
BourbonBuck
Like camping?
lynnkm
you see i rented a chainsaw for this.... but apparently I'm not allowed to have fires on my balcony of my apartment building
PrincessCanadia
I fit that description!
MrFunreal
there's a reason why lumberjacks are cooler than you'll ever be
IDevelopGamesAndShitButMainlyGames
...groovy.
Iowan7footer
This is for me, I live in the woods as a lumberjack and need a lot of food to feed both me and my blue ox!
mikeatike
I bought a lithium ion electric chainsaw. Quiet as hell and decently powerful. One of my favorite toys.
slagath0r
Ron Swanson
CanadianLadyMoose
You can't take a stove on a hunting trip. Well, you can take a propane stove, but that shit takes up room.
NotFrown
hmm maybe for the person who lives in the woods with an axe but not a stove?
TheCommunistComrade
Vin vin motherfucker
DidItForScience
http://connery.dk/image/box/816051/1290/10000.jpg
LordCommanderTomSnow
I always bring a full sized chainsaw and 12" cast iron skillet when backpacking.
Ayxu22
you really should, theres significantly less bears and axe murderers around when you open carry a chainsaw
xLiarxLyrex
I was on the at when I saw four guys who took down a black bear with bows and were hiking it for 5 hours back down the trail.
Haydunce
One word: lumberjack
retgarr
That would be awesome.
ilikefoodmorethanpeople
Let's hope he owns some soaking wood too
OlympicLlama
As someone who owns a chainsaw and a splitter using your chainsaw like that is how you get hurt. The chainsaw is meant to cut perpendicular
tr26
No joke. Hence why I noodle, I don't have a splitter or a death wish.
treecutter
It's called a rip cut. No more dangerous than a traditional cut. We use it to make large pieces of wood smaller to be removed by hand.
SBegosh
The chainsaw is meant to cut like this... You get hurt by cutting with the upper half of the tip of the bar, not by cutting a log in half.
ragingbobcat
Username checks out.
Wafflevore
1000th +1! Yay :D
Kneeapallingtanline
This would have been nice after Katrina.
upsetsanity
For the camper who has a chainsaw and a broken camp stove.
FsImgur
Well if you have no paper, at least there's gas in the chainsaw.
Thoraxe123
or camping
ravagefox
For the lumberjack on the go!
PoIluticorn
When we camp we usually have a little propane stove that's okay. This looks way better and bringing a chainsaw wouldn't be a big deal.
NickRivieraMD
A bigger deal than a propane stove though, for sure.
hiphopbookshop
You could always cut the log ahead of time
PoIluticorn
Where were you 5 hours ago!! I just thought of this and commented it like 20 minutes ago. lol
SarcasticComment
if it isn't against the rules and you aren't bothering anyone... go for it
PoIluticorn
So I just thought of this and had to come back. It would be super easy to just precut a bunch of logs and throw them in the truck.
SarcasticComment
that's the million dollar solution.
SarcasticComment
check with the rules of your camping area. You don't want to be "those people" disturbing everyone else's peaceful time with a chainsaw
hostilemuffin2
or you could cut the logs just outside the camp enterance. Usually they are far enough away from other campers
SpookyBipple
In Colorado I usually hear gun fire all day lol chainsaws wouldn't bother me. Unless it was late.
SpookyBipple
But public land doesn't exactly have rules like... campgrounds with toilets. I hate those places.
tr3buchet
Just pre cut the damn logs
typingtreemonkey
Depends on the camping grounds, especially national parks will not let you bring your own wood.
tr3buchet
But they are fine with you chainsawing theirs down?
dailycupofjoe
I forgot people think "camping" means going to a business campground. I still only see it as going into the woods
Ayxu22
yeah but if they complain, you have a chainsaw
pizzarollsandoreos
but they have a Hulk...
SarcasticComment
That is a rather compelling argument...
PoIluticorn
That's a really good tip that I probably wouldn't have thought of. +1 and thanks!
StonesOnTheHill
Do people camp in some kind of fenced off area or something? Forgive my ignorance, please, as I'm a filthy foreigner.
molestmymonkey
In North America, mainly USA and Canada, people can get a little butthurt over something stupid like this. Would take like 30 seconds too.
SarcasticComment
in my country there are private camp grounds with multiple families or national parks where you are free to camp alone so it really depends
Valkor
Decisions were made.
HighSeass
Good decisions
MexBoxOne
The right ones I might add
stja
And not a single regret was had.
TwoEdgedSwordfish
And dreams deferred.
AnonresponsivE
Kegs were tapped: men were used
thehoff37
Jade Monkey Dragons were slain with the Forbidden Staff of Valhalla.
BerserkQuatch
Beards were grown
DreadCarcass
And shots were fired