runsinmybuns
1602
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Three years ago I quit my toxic job to open a business with my partner.
As soon as we left the company we worked for to do this, the pandemic hit.
Then, I had a series of dreams that were actually memories that triggered my PTSD as well as my eating disorder (I had been in recovery for two years after twenty of being sick)
So, no health coverage for therapy, a pandemic that was causing delays to the success of our business, and a partner who was now also facing their own demons. Wow.
Thanks to a lifetime of PTSD and other mental ailments, I’ve also had my fair share of therapy.
With that comes an extensive toolkit of thought practices, etc that I was able to use to keep myself (moderately) together, while coaching my partner.
As a man from a machismo culture, that took some patience and effort. It was kind of like I was helping them with their oxygen mask while my clumsy ape hands couldn’t always figure out how to keep my own mask on tight.
Sometimes you drift apart in pain because you don’t have the tools to be well, and you don’t have the tools to support each other.
These days we are finally finding peace, as well as a deeper trust for each other. Some days, I’ll struggle and he’s there, presenting the tools I have been working hard to show him and it’s incredible.
This might get ignored to hell, but in light of mental health day I just wanted to share my story with those who are struggling.
It’s very, very important that you don’t take this as an excuse to ignore toxic behaviour.
If you’re questioning how someone is treating you, it is vital to get an outside opinion. Therapy options are out there, they’re accessible, and some are even free.
You are not responsible for anyones mental or physical wellness!
That said, if you and your partner are struggling, having a hard time supporting each other because you’re trying to help yourselves…this message is likely for you.
If you’re on your own and struggling, this message is also for you.
It takes work and dark days, but more than anything it takes hope to move forward without seeing a glimmer of light.
Hang in there, friends. Every day is different.
I welcome messages from fellow Eleanor Rigbys. I’m here anytime.