Small steps...

Mar 7, 2018 3:22 AM

adjunctum

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Small steps...

Last time I went out two weeks ago alone, I ordered an appetizer from the server and then spent 10 min in the bathroom trying to calm down. Didnt work, felt like i was going to die, and went to the back to the table and told the server I got an emergency call and needed to leave. This time I made it through the appetizer (still went to calm down in the bathroom, though) and was waiting on the entree when it hit hard again. When the entree was delivered, I did the "Emergency call" bit again and rush paid and left. Well, I made it at least 20min there instead of 10. I didnt calm down until i got home and in my room with the door closed. It's crazy I know... I get small attacks on the way to work but keep super busy to distract myself. I hate life at work when it's slow because it creeps up. So I start doing everyone's sidework to stay busy and distracted from my pounding heart and wondering why I am breathing in manual mode. Everyone thinks I am so nice but really I am just trying not to feel like I am about to have a heart attack and die. I am just happy I made progress.

TL;DR - OP has social anxiety and panic attacks. Made it halfway through dinner out alone before leaving. Is happy for progress.

Update: I am literally a 39yr old man crying right now because the FUCKING internet is concerned about me and actually helping. Fuck all of you. I just wanted to be happy about my step. (DEEP BREATH ) ok... Thank you.

So many DM's… I am not alone! Some quick/short answers…

1. No, I don’t know why it started or what triggered it as I only know when it’s happening. Each time is different but there are some obvious triggers which I am trying to address.

2. I try multiple things to control it but here are the main three:

a. Genuine laughing. No matter how far down the rabbit hole I am, laughing always helps.
b. Rapping. I am no [enter your favorite rapper here] or am an aspiring rapper, but I recite my own rap lyrics have written and try and hone my skills.
c. Walking and counting. If I can, I go for a walk and count steps or seconds and try to see how high I can get. I focus very hard on being consistent. Try counting in the thousands and not make a mistake.
d. Many other suggestions go here, but I probably tried them, and the above three help me. If it’s new to me (DM's or comments), I will probably try it.

3. No, I don’t take medicine or seek professional help for this. I am not against it but if I cant conquer this, I will.

4. I wish I lived near you so we could conquer this together. No one was close.

5. I don’t mind talking to you, trying to get to you all.

6. Thank you. (That’s for all the support DM's)
You all are so awesome.

Sorry if the above sounds harsh, just getting to the point.

heart_pounding_hard

tingling

icantbreathe

onestepatatime

icanbeatthis

That's awesome! I Also suggest reading Jenny Lawsons "Furiously Happy". And remember everyone is just pretending to be good at it.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ive been there, my friend. Take some distraction- a book, a movie on iPad, some knitting. I enjoy eating alone now.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Take it slow but keep at it. Celebrate the little things.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My suggestion: bring a book. I take myself on dates all the time. I bring a good book to read.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

@OP

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

One of the big things that got me over anxiety was the realization that nobody in public really cares about you, they care about themselves.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I often go out to drinks, dinner and the movies by myself. I know this won't help the anxiety, but as someone not suffering from 1/2

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

this condition, I can tell you, nobody else cares. Keep it up, and soon it will be the easiest thing in the world. 2/2

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I get overwhelmed in similar situations, but I'm learning that it's a process. You're doing great! One step at a time :)

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Damn, you have more balls than I do! I'll start doing it too!!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Good luck dude! You’ll get there

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Well done sir, your efforts are impressive and your improvements well earned

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Keep it up and don’t give up @OP. Been in those shoes before and I know it’s a mind fuck but you’ll be 100% fine :)

8 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

It's so weird that I know it's happening. Makes me worse knowing that. Makes me feel out of control and makes me worry if it's real. Hate it

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I recommend this audible: “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” trust

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How are you at places like McDonalds without waiters but there's still people?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Good job @OP! You'll get there. I always took a book with me on dinners for 1.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Do you find it easier if you go out with other people?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Always. It doesn't get serious when I do.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I should clarify... People I know only. (i.e. BE, Family.)

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You're kind of like me

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I know the struggle well. Panic attacks are no joke. I got really close to ending it all multiple times because of them. It gets better

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I've spent 10+years fighting the fight, what you're doing works, finding the right docs is tough. Just had a breakthrough last summer >

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

> and am finally convincing my docs it's something organic, not mEnTAl. Keep after yourself to push for any tests you can think of. I

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We're here for you!! And very proud of you!!

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Probably been covered but go talk to someone about this. I went through it a while ago, probably worse than you are now, and I made it thru

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I take medication for this exact same thing. It's called Venlafaxine. Please look into it, but at least speak with a doctor or psychiatrist.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Im always alone

8 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Hey man you did a little better this time . You are doing good.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I take magnesium, ashwagandha daily and l-theanine twice a week as needed along with regular exercise. finally got my anxiety under control.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

If it's not rude to ask, what exactly is it that worries you? The idea of eating alone in a public setting, or just being around so many?

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Not to be so sad, but both. Both for some reason bother me. I used to be the guy who didn't give a shit. Now... I can't function socially.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Damn I feel ya I used to be so carefree and then I had one panic attack and bam! Couldn't be normal but now my pills have saved me.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Doctors should prescribe panic attack buddies. Someone wanna help me ride the trains in chitown and take me to crowded places.

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

I actually really need a Chicago panic buddy. The trains scare me & the buses are even worse.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My doctor prescribed a panic attack buddy called Xanax.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Any progress is great, good job tonight! Keep on plugging away, you'll get to where you want to be. Rooting for you!

8 years ago | Likes 61 Dislikes 0

Thank you.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Does reading a book help? Or being on imgur?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You can make it passed desert if you keep at it.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Good luck mi amigo, you’re not alone

8 years ago | Likes 152 Dislikes 0

I'm sorry that people feel uncomfortable doing things like this. So many activities like eating, going to a movie, watching sporting events

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

etc, are things where your focusing on the event and not on people around it. So its perfectly fine to go by yourself.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ever?

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

Never ever.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Nevevevever!

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Do you take distractions besides your phone? Nobody would judge you with a super thick book

8 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 1

I need to do this. I like to eat alone and usually am on my phone while eating. On a few occasions people would ask if a guy was on his 1/

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

way and I've had managers say, "Don't worry, he'll get here" even after saying I was not expecting anyone. I asked for a table for 1... 2/2

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've definitely ate out alone with a book many times. Maybe for @OP a favorite read could help with calming down?

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I hate to mention this, but, even reading imgur unless it makes me laugh doesn't work. Laughing helps me. It's my antidote as I have found.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I know it sounds weird, but it is true. Even a chuckle starts to calm me.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Ask the waiter to tickle you

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But you can only see something so many times before it's just a "heh". That's what I think is a part of my problem. I never laugh anymore.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Also, I recommend a video compilation of cats talking for some good giggles every now and then :)

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Create a YouTube playlist of a bunch of videos to make you laugh. When stressed, just pick one and put it on shuffle!

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

What you're doing is actually a common treatment protocol -- acclimatization. Keep at it, it gets better. Also, if you're not taking meds

8 years ago | Likes 845 Dislikes 3

Have a friend at work who has learned to acclimatize to the point I hadn't ever noticed when they told me one day. Keep at it OP

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I forced myself to speak to strangers. Even just a quick sentence complimenting their hair or clothes. I built it up from there.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

im a normal person and i would never go to a restaurant alone unless i needed to kill time

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yeah, your own avoidant behaviour is the real killer with anxiety. Do whatever it takes (within reason, no getting hammered!) to keep trying

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I like to think of socializing as a skill, and all it really takes is practice.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Indeed. I've done an internship in childrens' psychiatry and this is the approach they always take for anxiety issues.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

You don't know OP. Sometimes no amount of trying will fix things. That's the sad truth of reality. Some times just living is the success.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thank you for this.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

@OP take note, this person knows what they're talking about. Also, if it's not a super fancy restaurant, you could take your laptop along 1/

8 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 0

And "work" (type/browse Imgur) so that you don't feel like an unusual sight, and it takes your mind off of the situation. (2/2)

8 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 0

yet, having suffered both, trust me -- they can massively help you. Even if you only take 'em for a while to get over the hump, they help

8 years ago | Likes 271 Dislikes 1

Don't start with medication. Keep doing what you do, it will get better. Meds are the devil. Talking from experience. Meds and depr/anx.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 7

Thank you. It scares me how many people here treat this lightly. Its a drug after all and prescripted way to frequently. Do exercises

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 6

I talked to a guy on imgur with social anxiety issues and he told me he was never given meds despite consulting many psychiatrists. Strange?

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Medication isn't the be all end all solution, especially for some people. Sure, doctors could have tried for him at some point, but 1/?

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

only they know the reason they didn't. For me, I have anxiety, but refuse to be on medication because I am scared of addiction. 2/2

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

i can confirm efficacy of medication for extreme anxiety as well as the long term effectiveness of acclimatization.

8 years ago | Likes 88 Dislikes 2

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8 years ago (deleted Mar 8, 2018 2:00 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Vodka.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I will be another one to suggest this! I still take a low dose of mine, it helps keep me even enough that I can deal with the anxiety

8 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 1

This. It's a massive quality of life boost

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

@op

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0