HALP- I need an off the wall idea

I need a persuasive speech topic, an interesting and entertaining one

It can be an entertaining conspiracy or a ridiculous correlation, an ad hoc hypothesis, I will dig up some sort of data to support ridiculous facts. So far I have thought of doing a speech on:

1. If you don't use it, you actually lose it
2. Evolution, Shmevolution: Humans are Amphibians
3. The Backstreet Boys surpass Beethoven in Musical Achievement

I don't want a borring, expected topic

The confederate flag, politics, laws, equality...while important, I am not interested in them for my speech.

Thank you

Since I already provided cat tax, here is some OC

My son drew it. This is the Snowman King, the strongest and coldest warrior of them all, in the middle of a snowman war (note the sad decapitated head).

By the way, you should watch some Ad Hoc speeches from BAH festival, they are very funny and the inspiration for an interesting/ridiculous topic http://bahfest.com/