I have questions for all you imgur physicists and i need answers now!

I am a guy who through highschool thought a lot about physics and the universe, and subsequently annoyed my physics teacher with all kinds of questions about light, the universe and everything in between. I wanted to study physics (and still want to at some point) but the level of my physics classes was too low and my real pasion was programming, so now im a programmer with a lot of weird questions and no one educated enough in physics to ask them to. So i turn to you physics students/teachers/professors of imgur, help me obi-wan, you're my only hope.

Timey-wimey bendy spacetime

This is one of the assumptions i have build many of my questions on and it is probably a flawed understanding of the subject but i hope it is at least a little correct. My question is if spacetime bends like a coordinate system where an axis has been rotated, such that any movement along that axis actually also results in movement along some other axis. The idea here is that you can go "straight forward" in some direction in space and still have a curved path through space as a result of the bend spacetime making the space in front of you curve in some other direction than the one you are going. In my mind the traveler would still percieve his path to be straight, he would just end up in a place that wasn't in front of him.

Front to back light in curved space

This one relies on the assumption above and some youtube videos about light bending around stars and other massive objects. Say you have some near black-hole mass object, such that light is still able to escape its gravity but spacetime is curved to as close as it would be with an actually black-hole. Would a light beam hitting the object in some place and the escaping from the surface, move to the diametricly opposite point of the object if spacetime is bend enough. This is also a hypothesis i have about the proposed warp-drive design that squishes and stretches spacetime around the object to move faster than light, would a lightbeam hitting the front of the warping spacecraft be squished and stretched to the back of the spacecraft so you can see both the front and the back of the craft at the rear end of the warp field? Another smaller question in the same vein would be if anything interesting happens at near black hole mass?

Bendy spacetime in black holes

A final question for this post, if it is true that spacetime curves and makes straight paths curved would it be conceivable that the reason nothing can escape the event horizon of a black hole is that there is simply no path where going in a straight line doesnt lead you back to the center of the black hole? And that the event horizon of the black hole might be where all the paths leading away from it start bending back towards it?

I know that 140 characters might not be enough to adequately answer my questions, unless the answer is "you're wrong" of course. And it is certainly not enough characters to discuss general relativity in depth, so please pm me if you have some answers and nothing better to do, it would be greatly appreciated.