pilomotor
21637
602
11
Mar 26, 2025 1:59 PM
pilomotor
21637
602
11
NinjaCongo
Ah yes, the old release a raccoon into a room for the purpose of cleaning it more efficiently routine. Classic.
FordyP
You have a raccoon called Moonshine? Did a certain druid inspire that name?
Thesaya
I really hope they did it
iusedtodream
Does it work??
nuncamente
Where does one apply for the soon-to-be-available position of roommate who doesn’t pay any of the mortgage?
Asking for a friend.
CodingMoose
Worst roommate ever
smoldix42069
The tumblr username checks out
parabolic000
I read that as a "RZA accredited zoo" and wondered, for a brief quarter-second, what sort of raccoon accreditation the Wu-Tang Clan could bestow. Alas, I simply misread it.
d3jake
#1 Dump the trash on their bed.
Youhavinagiraffe
We did this to a guy in our university halls. When we broke into his room to do it we discovered a towel wih mushrooms growing on it
graehall
I wanna be her housemate, CHANCE TO LEGALLY PAT RACOONS? HECK YEAH! Also I could dress up as a Disney princess (I'd never do that normally)
graehall
That last part is prolly a lie
ZaphodBbx
"Underneath all the whimsey, I am a trained professional" -- Is a phrase that I will immediately be adding to my CV...
netutoring
And she looks like she does a great Snow White cosplay.
NachoIskerka
As someone who works at a musical tech company who routinely tells people odd things like how to jury rig all their equipment together to get their sound echo to autotune and bounce from left to right in time to the speed of the music playing in a way that will violently set off someone's vertigo if they're not careful; same.
BananaForScaIe
And my fetlife profile.
zimirken
Same vibes as
[deleted]
[deleted]
87cubed
I should wear a gown and a tiara while doing my job. Working full-time remote, my co-workers might not get to see it, but I'd still benefit. I wonder what my wife will think about it ..
mithiwithi
What do you mean it's not gallusrostromegalus?
DeadeicPrints
I both hate that people start sentences with "Chat/Hey chat" as well as one of those ppl... it's very conflicting.
Like, an example of my hypocrisy: at work i have a camera in my truck that records all day, and will "trigger" (i.e put a flag/marker for my supervisors to check and make sure I'm a good boy) at little things like pot holes, and every time I see it flagging I go "uh oh, chat am I cooked!?" I'm sure the company who views the footage hates me lol.
originalcharacterdonotsteal
When I was playing D&D online I used to go "gamer alert!" everytime someone popped in to the voice chat. Unfortunately 1x a week - 1x a month is a manageable amount of it apparently because it didn't seem to drive anyone up the wall.
cyno01
Fourth person pronouns.
goflyblind
graehall
Little King Trashmouth! And his husband Gary!
TinyOctopus
Tiny octopus once wanted a pet raccoon so badly, fueled by books like Frosty, and Rascal.
This just awakens that desire once more.
nation543
I've thought about it too, they're extremely intelligent and can be very friendly........
But their curiosity means that they will literally eat your walls and the framework. They absolutely will.
metroid2
I know this is 2 weeks old but found it from another post. Here is this. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rascal_the_Raccoon
pilomotor
MrStealYourGiF
Well, if you seek to imbue the littles with greater ambition... https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/975534.Gentle_Ben
Ronelyn
Right??? Sadly, a raccoon in our house would choke herself to death on loose dice, Gundam parts, and charger cables. It's the same reason we can't have a ferret.
jammer909
I know this pain. Every time I see cats on here, I desperately want a cat again. Sadly, the house I live in is in absolutely no condition to safely have a pet in it. Far too many repairs are needed along with cost prohibitive amounts of cleaning. My fish tank is like a wet zen garden, but you can't hug your fish.
NaughtButOne
My father had a "pet" raccoon for a while. It was a wild raccoon that got separated from its mother, so he sort of just.. kept it. No real problems, they got along great. Raccoon was allowed to wander the property at will. Smart as hell. It could climb anywhere and open twist-top lids. Its favorite was peanut butter. One day it just wandered off and didn't come back. Hopefully it found a little friend raccoon and made a family, but... Probably not. Dad was okay, had a dog to look after as well.
elbowdeepinawhateverthatis
Honestly, best-case scenario right there. Happy ending.
CheesecakePi
Okay, probably should have led with those last couple paragraphs a little earlier. Up until there we were veering HARD into the realm of mutual assholery (roommate for not cleaning up their shit, OP for- although hilarious- bringing wild undomesticated and possibly diseased animals into the home space). That they are literally a professional specialist in raccoons and are doing so safely (for both people and critters) makes this so much better.
DysgraphicProgrammer
You have to understand stand that the most prized traits on Tumblr are whimsy, weirdness, and commitment to the bit. Describing a perfectly conventional thing in the most unhinged possible way is one of their favorite jokes.
mithiwithi
I'm pretty sure the idea was to switch from "haha I'm releasing raccoons into my apartment I'm so random lol" to "actually I literally did this but I know what I'm doing, I'm a trained professional, don't try this at home".
You can call it ragebait if you like, and I suppose I might've reacted the same way between the opening post and the follow-ups, but with the WHOLE thread in place I for one think it was a good setup.
Darkish2010
Oh wow, that raccoon is so cute wtf
mithiwithi
Raccoons are one of the more tempting pet-looking animals that are ABSOLUTELY NOT PETS.
GeneralWho
Please re-read what the person said above and I will also add my emphasis of DO NOT TAKE A RACCOON AS YOUR PET, whether you 'tamed' it as an adult or found it as a baby. https://abcnews.go.com/Health/raccoon-eats-babys-face-now-11-ear/story?id=23333206
Once they hit sexual maturity they are unpredictable. The paragon of "they're chill until they aren't". It's extremely telling that almost every person with a raccoon pet tells people "Do not have a raccoon as a pet."