Bouillabaisse: Recipe time!

Finished product to start with as is the imgur way

Step 1, put the wine in to chill so it’s cold by dinner time. Remember white wine for fish, red wine for tomatos.

Next step sew a bag from an old dead t-shirt. If you can’t sew, man up and learn. If you think you don’t have an old/ugly T-shirt to sacrifice, pro tip you do, just ask absolutely anyone you know and they will tell you which one it is.

The ingredients, regular kitchen bits and bobs, lots of fish bits (described as we go along) and Rouille (you can easily skip we just had it kicking about the back of the cupboard)

Chop the leek, fennel. And onion. Roughly even amounts of each.

Put the leftovers in the fish-bag. Plenty of flavour, but fibrous and difficult.

Add the gross fish bits your not going to serve, plenty of goodness, and they will thicken the soup, plenty of amazing flavour.

I like my men with beards and muscles, but my muscles don’t get to keep there beards… either way wash clean before putting in your mouth.

Heat some oil…

And fry the vegetables till soft. From there add tinned tomatoes and two tins worth of lukewarm water.

While they are warming mix 1 spoon per person of sour cream to as much minced raw garlic as your heart tells you to add. This is a French recipe be prepared for a Frenchman to laugh at how little garlic you have added, regardless of how much is in there.

Add the fish-bag, put a lid on and turn cooker to minimum heat, and wander away for 45 minutes

You could spend those 45 minutes cleaning the kitchen….. OR…… and hear me out…. You could drink cocktails

Upon returning pull out the fish-bag and squeeze out the delicious juices, as a bonus all the troublesome fish bones stay in the bag.

Here comes the fast part. Ready set go… toss the prepared muscles into the soup

Heat butter, 1 scallop, and 1 monkfish cheek per person. 2 minutes on the first side…. Rush rush rush

1 minute on the other side

Everything is suddenly ready at the same moment!!!!!

Make toast (if you can’t do this the rest of the recipe is definitely beyond you) 2x garlic cheese, 2x butter and sea salt flakes, 2x rouille

Put the soup and muscles in a bowl, blob of garlic cream in the centre, the scallops and monkfish on top. The toast on a separate plate to share, remember the wine we put in earlier, and an empty bowl for the muscles shells

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