The saga of the Duck Serial Killer Investigation Unit on Nextdoor

Now I can fully understand HOW the Satanic Panic started in the 1980s. Notice not once was it mentioned how the ducks died. Just that they were dead and in boxes. Don't worry, the neighbors will make up how they think they probably died and run with it all the way to a neighborhood exorcism. Enjoy!

The uninformed opinion of Kimberly. She probably read it on the internet.

And Cindy "looked it up"

I'm not sure what Cindy's point was here but I'm vaguely uncomfortable

Selina tries to be a voice of reason. Now remember, we have no idea how the ducks died. They're just all certain it was a sacrifice.

I think Betty misses the point

And now we have a budding serial killer just about to clearly start murdering humans

Buckle up, Debra is about to really start making her presence known.

New dead animals every day! The ground is just littered with them!

-Debra, probably

Ralph & Terry are probably Winchesters. They're going to save everyone with a neighborhood exorcism

Debra can't face anything that doesn't fit with her crazy. Now the animals are in bags too!

I can't imagine why her calls have done nothing

She needs us to call because they probably hang up on her

Wake up sheeple!

Seriously, Nextdoor is a cancer and all my neighbors are paranoid. They all went insane like this because someone left a dollar on a boardwalk at a lake in a nearby park. No serial killers there. That was just the crazed drug lords hoping you'd put your fingerprints on drug money so you'd go to jail! Mind you, we live in the suburbs...