CorgiFloofs
53311
1603
90
If anyone wants more, just ask, OP will deliver
Part 2 is up as well! http://imgur.com/gallery/kXfhb
Part 3: http://imgur.com/gallery/Bluig
RexNihil
"to must solve the door's puzzle to get through" "fuck that I'm a sorcerer, I cast acid splash to melt the door." "Ah. Well, shit, it works"
CaptSlowShow
I have a notebook full of these. I need to just shut up and make my own post.
monuke
I don't think OP understands what no context means
MrSolomon
"I'm gonna pickpocket the ghost!" "No! Don't pickpocket it!" "Too late!"
MrSolomon
The result; He failed the roll, got us caught, and we had to sprint out a ghost town that also had golem sentries patrolling the streets.
KungPowMeow
"Stop sexualizing my mudpuppy."
priori
Instructions unclear. Swam through wood.
carpaltunneloflove
"I want to get in a screaming match with a banshee" he won.
Xenarion
Ok, now you should put a context so it doesn't just look like faked randomness.
thatunpleasantfeeling
"I am angry because you wouldn't let me murder the sausage."
MightyGlowCloud
Last session ended with two soldiers dressing up in drag and beating up a fat man alley to take the money he was trying to buy them with.
MightyGlowCloud
The rest of the group got respectively laid, beat up by a bouncer and turned into a ghoul.
JokerPixel
DM: Congratulations! You killed the Skull Lord!" Dwarf: I dig a hole. *dwarf attempts to dig hole in solid rock dungeon floor.*
PrincesssButtercup
"I seduce the man" *rolls* DM: you got a low roll, but luckily, the man is incredibly gay. You succeed
WillLurkForFood
More like suck seed I'm out
ItsCrazyTim
You end up being seduced by him and now have a boyfriend
GingerSwan
"Oh shit" our magic-inept sorcerer said as he made cream cheese pour out of every orifice in a bandit's body. (He later died of the (1/2)
GingerSwan
same thing happening to him, except with donuts because he tried summoning them because he was hungry, as well as his gf Goddess. He died.
TheRealPrimeRib
One of my friends tried to do a magic trick and ended up putting all of a dragon's into a pool of acid after rolling a 1.
oreothecat
Thought of doing an imgur d&d night, anyone interested?
Cravel
I have no clue of what's going on in this post
Turb0Yoda
Level 0. Fumbled against s bugbear and hit him with the flat side of the blade. Next hit was a double 20, beheaded the bastard.
JustARandomKorean
"Can I suduce the c.e. demi god?"
Dunes8
NightRush
Animated object. I made my old group really freak out with them during a session!
txmount
or Disney Beauty & the Beast scenario...
CorgiFloofs
It was a room full of talking furniture
MesserAuditore
One of my friends tried to reason with a yeti. It got angry and flipped the table it was at, critting for 20 damage. Now he hates yetis.
LordofGoats
That's how racism is born.
MesserAuditore
Table flipping is a hate crime in some parts.
CorgiFloofs
That's fucking great hahaha, the first time I got killed, I had 3 hp left, a lancer on a horse charged me for 18 dmg, I had 12 con...
terribleinternetpunsfirstborn
I was playing a character mostly concerned with earthly pleasures; fighting, eating, drinking, and screwing. Got killed in the arena and /1
terribleinternetpunsfirstborn
still technically undead. Which meant I couldn't eat, drink, or screw - even aside from the massive mace-scar in my face fin/3
jackofalleves
but hey, at least you can speak to witch doctors from anywhere in the world!
terribleinternetpunsfirstborn
resurrected. DM made me roll and I hit a 19. On a 20 I would've come completely back to life; on 19 I came back with no problems but /2
ImgurZero
My gm was so mad. Cause in the shadow run game we played I hid in a dumpster. Swat came in. 5 of them aimed at me. I played dead but failed
ImgurZero
My roll. So they all fired at me. I had to roll dodge. And they all missed me. I was in a dumpster pointblank and they all missed.
NightRush
I hope he ruled that you rolled the dumpster out of the way, and started a new life on the road!
CorwinMacGregor
haha, betcha they were all stormtroopers
Pipetri
" If I throw my leather sack into the regeneration fountain, will I get a cow ? "
MotherfuckinGoats
Ah, my gnomish barbarian's search for a worthy battle steed. So far she's attempted to steal several cows and considered crocodiles.
Ryannihilation
Did they get a cow?
CausticSoda
That sounds fair.
LordSupergreat
Maybe for a fountain of Resurrection. Regeneration only works on living things.
CorgiFloofs
"Can I talk to this wall?" "Sure go ahead" "Hello? Anyone there?" And then an earth elemental hit me in the face for 10 dmg (12 hp total)
KillerTofu615
And that's how you learn.
jimwormmaster
Well that's just playing dirty.
lolzomg123
Well, it IS an Earth Elemental...
jimwormmaster
dasdajoke.jpg
inspiringandfunnyusernamecoolheh
"I want to use my sneak skill to kick down the door quietly."
KelseyJay
"Do I need to roll dexterity to see if I give a good blow job?" asked a new player.
Xlotl
"Do you get attacks of opportunity if someone is giving birth?"
LordSupergreat
Only on the kid, as it's leaving its mother's square.
CorgiFloofs
Wahahaha
Xlotl
We decided that no one in the party was evil enough to take them
CorgiFloofs
That's a shame haha
Myniggathatwasdeep
"Can I hypnotist the kids to come talk to me?"
MichaeIJCaboose
"I have rope and a rake, That mimic is gonna get it."
Myniggathatwasdeep
"Can i also do a perception check? *crit fails* you fall off your horse make a ride check *crit fails 3 times in a row* well shit i guess u
Myniggathatwasdeep
die. and thats the story of how our monk died lol