Story time...

wibbIywobbIytimeywimey

1911

Ok so about 2 years ago I tried to engage my parental units in discussions about our differing political views. Some background: I’m 33 now, parents are over 65. I was raised catholic. Church was an every week thing. I stopped following and believing anything religion taught close to 10 years ago now. The big gap now is that they are big fans of Supreme Overlord Trump....yep...

I digress...at that point, a little over two years ago, a major gap in our views had grown, but I had mostly stayed silent about it up to that point. It just wasn’t something we talked about. Mostly because I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy conversation. To my shocking surprise -_- it went as terrible as I thought.

After a few conversations that started off ok, but ended with shouting, deep divides, and the slamming of doors my wife (bless her gawddam heart) offered to mediate between us. She’s also great at wording betterer than is I (wife is not a believer in organized religion, but is spiritual—also hates Trump as much as me).. The end of that convo was somewhat smoother, but was essentially an impasse: agree to disagree.

After a few months had passed and things had cooled off—we still talked and interacted like normal family—I sent my parents a link to a video I thought was really thought provoking and poignant (it was some Chris Cuomo vid chastising the president).

Almost immediately things spiraled after I sent them the link. They were furious that I’d tried, once again, to bring up this conversation...

I think what hurt most is that they weren’t even willing to listen to my side. “What about...” “Well the democrats did...” “That’s not what he meant—we don’t agree with that anyway, but...”

My wife and I had eloped before all this but were still planning a small(ish) wedding for family and friends that autumn. A month or so before the day they told us they wouldn’t be coming. Some of my family backed out as well—aunts, uncles, cousins.

I was livid. I was crushed. I was heart broken. I’m still not totally over it. I’m trying, but it’s hard. I haven’t really spoken to my parents since, other than a few “happy birthday” texts and cards.

Fast forward to today, I getthis text from my mom and I know I still need closure of some sort. I know any real, meaningful relationship is probably long gone by now, I can live with that, but I feel like I need to speak with them... and say something.

I just don’t know what...

TLDR: got into a big fight 2 years ago with parents over their Trump-love, haven’t spoken much since. Parents are moving out of state soon. What do I do????

family

trump

problems

EveryoneOnTheCountOfThree

Sometimes you have to say “That’s just who my parents are” and let it go. I’ve found this advice very helpful in dealing with my own family.

6 years ago |

bourbonandbaddecisions

Lost family due to political divide a year ago. It sucks because trump won’t be potus forever.

OH fuck I hope not.. I make the ‘supreme overlord’ comment in jest, but we can all see that’s exactly what he’s trying to do.

PutThePRNDLinD

Wish them well and wave

Bubbertubs

I'm taking this, if you have any more dogma his send them my way.

Acmer77

Make a strict no politics discussion rule. Punishment can be something funny, like spoonful of hot sauce or lemon juice.

If the gap wasn’t so large I would say this could be useful. I think we’ve gone too far beyond that now.

upthehillandtotheright

Damn, not even a love mom.

heyguysimtom

I cannot imagine letting my family relationships falter because of loyalty to a politician

Well, it did for me. Their ideals and viewpoints were so diametrically opposed to mine it was hard to find a way forward.

Especially when their reactions were always negative and they were never able to actually hear me out on anything.

dirtmarker

Parents job is to raise you. They did that. You're an adult now and you can decide if you need to be friends with them. You don't owe them.

This is a really interesting way of looking at it. Thanks

Kinkade

Neither you or they will change views, neither tight or wrong. You sound more preachy though. Find common ground or move on.

SanSamis

You're an idiot to let political differences even enter into your relationship with your parents. But, you are typical of your generation.

Maybe you haven’t taken a look around in a while, but the world is changing. This shit matters.. end of story.

Asia8

If only it was about rep vs dem. This is about your loved ones supporting an autocrat. It's heartbreaking.

Thank you. Its so much more than gop vs dem. I was actually still registered republican until this year. Couldn’t stomach any longer.

ThatsWhatSimonSaid

I have a same family scenario. I try to focus less on who they attach their political beliefs to & more on the grounded good things we share

Ive always been one to wear my emotions on my sleeve, and if I have a problem, I can’t focus on anything else until I try and resolve it 1/

So for me to stay silent for so long about how I felt about their political/religious ideologies was extremely hard. I did it, not because

I wanted to, but because I knew how hard the conversation would be. I dont think I ever thought we’d be at this point, but I also didnt

Think they would refuse to even hear me out, even after I told them how much that hurt that they wouldnt listen. 4/4

I’m so sorry it’s come to this. I asked my friend what it was like to be estranged from their parent so abruptly, they had good advice. 1/2

aiuta219

So here's the deal: You aired your side. You gave them plenty of time to come around. They didn't choose you. Be sad, and then choose a

family that wants to have you. Friends, colleagues. Decent siblings or relatives. They can contact you if their minds change. You have no

obligation to them now. I do this with my family. I see my parents once a year and gather my friends, their partners, their kids, and have

my time with them. Honestly, it's a better deal that way for everyone involved.

I can honestly say I have gone through all that. But holidays, birthdays, times when I’d be gathered around family doesn’t happen anymore.

I guess maybe the fact theyre leaving means I’d be able to see some of my cousins for certain holidays. So thats a positive.

Somedude7

You ever meet a friend's new love and you can't see why they are together at all. You see certain qualities and they see others. You see...

red flags where they see cute quirks. Sure, they will probably break up soon, but they think they'll be together forever. Try convincing...

your friend to break up. If you're old enough you've seen abuse victims not break up. Don't expect more from your parents than you expect...

from your buddy. This is a hard time for them. Everyone is saying Chad was cheating on them but they know Chad would never do that...

Treat it like that if you can. You can't fight it, you can support them through this difficult time.

They're dating an egomaniac, mysoginist, racist, man-child, whose actions destroy lives. You lose respect for anyone who is blind to it.

This is somewhat helpful, and I like the take. The only difference being they look at Chad (fuck Chad he’s such an ass) and they think 1/

Comments (49)