muffingirlization
57817
1287
51
Love to you today.
May 12, 2024 1:40 PM
muffingirlization
57817
1287
51
Love to you today.
rkingesd365
I haven't spoken to my mom since being cut out nearly 10 years ago. A couple weeks ago my aunt, who had been there for me since birth and was essentially a second mom, passed away. I miss both.
ArcaneM37
I'm the "other". I'm at home alone while my husband and kids go celebrate without me. My sister in law made reservations over an hour away from us, and i am very sick and bedbound and just cant do the drive, eat, talk, everyone goes on a walk without me, drive again. This is the first holiday that i am too sick to make, but it wont be the last.
treasurehunter3000
I love my mom. I know she’s always in my corner. She made a large family run like a well tuned machine. she is the quintessential product of 1950s and is iconic at 82. She’s been going through some health challenges and my prayer is for complete & total healing. there’s still so much I need to learn from her. Love you, mom thank you for all your love
Psychobeanz
I grew up in a bad situation but made my own family in my late 20s. I'm estranged from my mother and it always hurts on this day, but I focus my efforts on my own kid and soak up every moment. I am not going to let her continue to haunt me.
lurkyloos
PFCHudson
My mom suffered greatly from manic depression and alcohol/drug addictions. She tried her best but she prioritized herself over those around her. She took her own life in 2002. Sometimes I miss her, sometimes I don’t, mostly it’s the questions that I have that will never get answered.
Psychobeanz
My mother would never set foot inside a psychiatrist's office for a proper diagnosis, but I sure as hell did, seeking the opinions of four in the past 15 years, getting diagnosed, going into therapy, medication, and doing as much research as possible on not only my own health but potential effects on my child. "Times were different for boomer parents" doesn't cut it. If you can't get your own shit together, and you notice your children are suffering, do something about it.
maplepancakes
My mom protected me from everyone who tried to abuse me in the name of being 'normal'. She shut down her family, including her own mother, when they tried to say hurtful things to me. She listened to my oddities and accommodated them the best she could. (I have texture sensitivities and it makes buying clothes or eating new foods an awful experience.) She didn't just let me do my weird hobbies, she encouraged me to do them. She is the best mother I could ever ask for.
3Davideo
This is my first mother's day after losing my mother late last year. So, yeah, hits hard.
wmcolwell3rd
Lost my Ma last summer too. I look at this day as a way to remember that cool woman who supported me and so many in my extended family.
gingersnapdragon
All the "firsts" hit had. I share your pain but promise the edge does get blunter
BuyMeBonestormOrGoToHell
You're in my heart...I lost my mom last year as well. Hugs.
xxx108
growing up my maa was the only one who took take of me, I never had anyone else, she's my home, happy mother's day ❤️🩹 my everything 👩👧
Knave333
I’d like to add people with mothers in hospice. Picking out my mother’s last Mother’s Day card was brutal.
Thandruin
nachosyndicate
Mothers Day is now the anniversary of my mom having a massive stroke, having multiple brain surgeries, a 190 day hospital stay & now not being the same mom I knew. I’ve lost her and keep losing her every day. Thanks for posting this.
WhistlePig
My dad has a TBI from a work related fall 10 years ago. I'm grieving him a second time. The first was after the accident and his personality completely changed. Now, it's the loss of memory, of individuality and happiness from the worsening TBI. Soon, it will be his death. I'm so sorry, I feel you 100% and it's a very unique and traumatizing experience every single visit or phone call :(
nachosyndicate
I’m so sorry. It’s really difficult & at times torture. It’s definitely something you can’t explain until you’ve moved through it. Thinking of you and your family.
Psychobeanz
I'm sorry for what you and your mom have been through.
nachosyndicate
❤️
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
I am sorry for your loss. My mother died early March but her mental degradation - though very fast - started two months prior. I can only fathom what you are going through. Be kind and gentle to your mom, even if she is not the person you know anymore. She was and is the person you love.
nachosyndicate
I’m sorry for your loss. And thank you for saying that. ❤️
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
Remember the best version of her. The last one she had influence on.
InsaneDeman
That lost sibling one hurts me a bit. 😭
lapus
My son thinks I chose a drug dealer over him. I really chose not to be controlled by his father anymore.
ElbowDeepInSaintCelestine
My mom always treated me like a unloved stepchild due to the fact that I'm a guy. She's my mother and I love her, yes but she is one woman who could never earn my trust back. I still talk to her(rarely) but for the most part, she's not in my life. She only ever asks about my girlfriend or my brother(who doesn't live with me and he's the youngest of three). Never asks about me or how I'm doing. The only nonpersonal thing she's ever talked to me about was the weather.
ElbowDeepInSaintCelestine
I do however, wish all the mothers out there a Happy Mother's Day and wish you all the best.
nutmegonyourdoodle
And yet you learned to be kind. That is an achievement that is completely yours. Thank you and best wishes to you.
MyCatIsMissingAnEar
Got spayed on Tuesday. No kids for me!! Happy Mother's Day to all the dog and cat and rat and lizard and birb and other animal moms out there!
polarbearbaby
Thank you!
JesusTapdancingChrist
Also know as pet owners. Not mothers.
polarbearbaby
The love is real. Piss off.
JesusTapdancingChrist
Loving something not really the same as being its mother. Also, and I promise you this as a fact, it is not remotely the same kind of love. Your love for your pet is closer to your love for your favourite food than it is love for a child.
polarbearbaby
Blow me.
redtruck
Happy Mothers Day to those Dads that have done double duty,
muffingirlization
Yes!!!
KittyKlimt6
To all moms who lost a child during pregnancies. Especially the ones not having other kids.
NinaBerry
Reading all the heartwrenching comments of abusive, aloof, inattentive, non-present mothers, I cannot fight the urge to phone my mum immediately and thank her for being the most loving, understanding, supportive, level-headed, kind-hearted person ever *and* I get to call her my mum.
My heart breaks for all of you that did not have a mum like mine. She is such a lovely person, she'll most probably try to mother each and every one of you. Tonight I'm a deeply thankful daughter.
FabergeBurrito
My second mother's day without my mom. When people talk about how wonderful their moms were, I cry because my mom & I didn't have that relationship. I can only remember a few hugs in my entire life, the constant criticism, nothing being good enough. But I know she loved me in a way that she knew how based on her own mother's treatment & I try to keep in mind she was a victim & did her best. Mother's day hurts for many reasons.
nutmegonyourdoodle
Sorry to be late to this party but your comment touched me. My mother constantly asks for me to visit only to shun me after a few hours if I do visit. What the hell? She wants to tell friends I visit, she doesn’t actually want me there. Feckin stupid. I hope you find peace.
SpecialAgentPinkfinger
My children's mom is currently MIA and hasn't really been a positive part of my kids lives for about 4 years now. They always do mothers day projects during school this week and my oldest did all of her stuff for my sister (who is a new mom). Like it sucks but she was strong enough to make something positive out of it. Proud of that one.
lurkyloos
My mother protected the people who raped me. I will never speak to that woman again.
Thank you for making this post OP
Salpinus
Your post is the next one after this. Holy shit.
Psychobeanz
I wasn't raped by my mother's partner but I was sexually abused in other ways. She protected him the entire time and wonders why I don't speak to her as an adult.
lurkyloos
I believe you and I’m so sorry you experienced that. Cheers to raising ourselves in loveless houses.
PosthumousExile
I managed to escape the rape but my sister wasn't. My mom fed us to that monster and had the audacity to tell me she was being sa by him too. And had no idea despite me telling her many times and her hurting me for saying such things.
NiftyGoblin
Thats not a mom, thats human filth. I hope you find people you can trust with your heart.
pixelsnader
skadoobdoo
My whole family protected him and nurtured him. Didn't give a shit if I lived or died.
rennyslion
Hmmm, no flower for that one.
LootenetDan
People estranged from their mothers is there. People often have a harrowing reason for it
LumpPump
the last one is for all the other ways it hurts. this would fall under that last flower sadly
everythingzed
My bio mom is more like a strange aunt I have to smile at when I meet, but can’t have a normal conversation with (she’s too bitter, cynical and racist to talk to), BUT my friends mom and my grandma always get my flowers. Grandmas gets them at the cemetery, but I know she loves them just the same. <3 Family can be chosen, I’m just sad kid me didn’t know that.
Justwarlockthings
My abusive mother taught me what not to do and I have an amazing relationship with my two boys.
BuyMeBonestormOrGoToHell
Lost my mom last year...I appreciate your kind thoughts.
CrimeSceneShoe
If a mom is estranged from her kids I assume there's a reason for it.
lurkyloos
"Why I Distrust Parents of Estranged Children"
“I have no idea what I’ve done wrong!”
Pretending you don’t know is what you have done wrong. Pushing your children to break a really strong bond is what you have done wrong. Not learning from this and taking accountability to what you have done wrong. And the most hurtful part if that you haven’t learned a thing. (1/2)
lurkyloos
(2/2)
You continue to put your ego first by spreading your version of events rather than listening to the pain of your children. That is what you’ve done wrong.
https://medium.com/inkmend/why-i-distrust-parents-of-estranged-children-d4cf3d3e6c34
Apollymkatistrafia
I cut my mother off. She is a narcissist. Love my kids to bits and wish I could just have more time with them instead of at work watching middle aged men avoid their wives today.
Xanadulou
Thanks. It feels good to see someone cares about those of us who've had miscarriages. It's always weird because I made the transition to thinking of myself as a mom, but I don't have a child to show for it.
LittleChickadee
For some of us "mother" was our worst abuser, and we just want a normal Sunday where we're not constantly freaking reminded of them. Thanks for this post!
muffingirlization
These words are exactly how I feel every mom's day, thank you!!
SidewalkWidflower
I totally get you, but some of us moms who constantly fear we're the worst thing that could have happened to our kids, to have them make you breakfast *after* cleaning up the kitchen, and handing you self made cards telling you in which ways they think you're the best despite the bad moments, and them being teenagers not 7y/os who'd think a monster is still best mom, even just for one morning, is all the air I need to carry on the rest of the year.
Psychobeanz
This is true for me but I'm not going to let my experience wreck the occasion for anyone else - certainly not my own kid. He has no idea what I went through and he won't know until he's older. He's five and excited to celebrate. I'm living in the now with my created family.
trhopkins
Typical suffering from a mistreated drug addicted mother with health issues. I knew i didn't want children, yet tried to have relationships.
trhopkins
Worked out as poorly as you expect it would. I still don't have children because I can't trust myself. It ends here.
LumpPump
you can have relationships with out the need to involve having children. (want to add when you think you are ready of course)fuck what people think, people SHOULD talk about children on the first date so you can find out if you have similar life goals. talk about how you have zero interest & you know you probably never will. that if the person you are seeing wants children to go look elsewhere cause you refuse to be something you know you do not want to be. its what i have done with my partner.
LumpPump
i've told dudes that if they want kids they should probably look elsewhere cause i cant stand the idea of tryign to raise anohter human nor do i want to risk giving them my genetic mental illnesses and if the person that you are dating cant see that. well you both would probably be better off looking for someone else that does line up with you and your goals better either way.
nutmegonyourdoodle
I hear you. It’s lonely, it’s so hard to bond with others when that initial crucial connection does not happen. A child has no shame in this situation,but it sure can feel heavy. I did a lousy job raising my mother because I was her child. She is a wild card . I have one child,I pray I did a better job.
trhopkins
And we parrot how we were raised. I'm sure you did better because you understand
nutmegonyourdoodle
Thank you.
Thorketil
I'm in this comment and it hurts.
trhopkins
I'm really sorry for your pain.
Cebrail
Don’t think it hurts for those of us who chose not to have kids. As long as it’s a choice
p3pp3rs
Sometimes they have regrets later in life but it's too late, I've known some.
nachosyndicate
I think it’s a reminder of how society “others” us. And that sometimes doesn’t feel great.
TallDude
I understand some have that feeling, but it still doesn't fit ion the category of "mothers" if you just don't want kids and don't want to be a mom.
nachosyndicate
?
PosthumousExile
I didn't want kids, but the choice was taken from me by my own biology. It sucks because I thought it was my choice and now it's not. Even I if I got pregnant, I would be unlikely to carry it to term and have a live birth.
I've just had to accept it and decided if I ever want kids, I'll adopt
Gaelwyn
We can reconcile ourselves to a lot of things when we convince ourselves that it's our choice, but when that choice is removed and we're forced onto a specific path it becomes much harder, even if we haven't changed our minds about what our choice would be. I'm sorry for your loss of choice. It's ok to greive for that.
RandomName24601
"I don't want to have kids" and "I choose not to have kids" can be two very different things
JesusTapdancingChrist
I mean, there’s definitely actual mothers out there who didn’t want to have kids but choosing not to have them does distinctly imply not having kids which would mean Mother’s Day has nothing to do with that person. Hence, the image is still stupid.
thesunisgettingreallow
And as a chosen non-mother, I hate it when someone wants to wish me a happy mother's day anyway because I have animals. Just let me have a normal Sunday.
MisanthropicMath
animatronicChristmasChickens
I, a man, was wished Happy Mother's Day today, "for that nurturing spirit that is in all of us"
WaxDragon
I have people that get mad if you don't because it's their fur babies. So sometimes ya just can't win
Foxsayy
That's just weird.
WaxDragon
Not wrong
MudcrabMan
I hope you have a wonderful Sunday!
thesunisgettingreallow
Thank you
kieselrollsdownrhehill
I have wished "Happy Mothers' Day" to someone who always takes care of everyone, without having kids . And she never wanted kids.
januarylover
That's really weird. Not you wanting your Sunday, but that people wish you a mother's day.
s0lid0nyx
Strangers wish me happy mothers day ALL THE TIME when I'm at work on Mother's day. A regular even argued with me that "No you have children...I swear you have children. You've told me you have children. You seem like you have kids." Noooooope- pretty sure I'd know if I birthed a human.
adricar
I am childless and pet less. People wish me a Happy Mothers Day, I just smile, let them know I’m not a mother and say thanks. They are just trying to be kind and don’t want to leave anyone out. I find it kind of sweet.
januarylover
It can be sweet & weird.
thesunisgettingreallow
It's not the randos I have a problem with, it's the people who know me who do it even though I have said many times I don't like it.
trhopkins
It does
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
In an ideal world, where I would have a gay partner and enough income and free time to support an (adopted) kid, I would relish the challenge. Granted I am working underpaid, and am hopelessly in love with a man who does not love me back, about to repeat my mother's mistakes of sacrifcing myself for my work because i have nothing else to live for.
darkdragonempress
You deserve a better life and I hope you are able to move past the unreciprocated love to find an actual partner and a job that values you appropriately.
Psychobeanz
You can still choose to be childless while simultaneously wanting children very badly. For a lot of people these days and the state of the US being what it is, it isn't financially feasible, or if it is, people just don't have the time or energy to be parents with how hard they have to grind to survive.
nachosyndicate
This is exactly my thought.
kittykat
Thank you
OverthinkingThis
God, I wonder if I'm that way. I would love to have kids, for me. They'd even be financially stable (as long as I had <=2 kids) into adulthood. But I can't find myself justifying the state of the majority of the world. I would absolutely fully answer questions like "Dad, why are there homeless people?" and I'm terrified they'd just end up being full on cynics
Salticido
I would've appreciated you as a kid. I imagine most kids pick up on how the world sucks in some way or another, so not providing answers, to me, just seemed withholding and frustrating. You just gotta pair that truthfulness with some talk about whatever ethics and philosophy that you're afraid cynicism would rob them of.
Psychobeanz
I grieved over not being able to have a second. I grew up with four brothers. My dad was one of five. I always wanted a large family full of chaos and noise and adventures and togetherness. But bringing one child into the world during the Trump era and then covid was shitty enough, I'm 35, we're still very tight on money, and I'm getting over it. Still hurts to see friends having and being able to afford multiples, but comparison is the thief of joy
Psychobeanz
Also want to add that we're both born and raised NYers who now feel stuck in a financially ridiculous situation on Long Island, where cost of living is just dumb.
Mogslie
Im still a NYer but moved off LI. It was a great decision i was fortunate to be able to make. However, it's not much less expensive further north. It hurts seeing all my friends be forced to move to other states just so they can afford to have a family. I understand and support their decision still. Now i struggle with the idea of leaving my family to make one of my own but I dont think i will at this point. I grieve it a ton.
Thorketil
The world is so fucked up that many adults no longer want to bring children into the world in order to spare them the coming collapse of civilization.
nachosyndicate
I often say “ I loved you so much I didn’t have you”.
Psychobeanz
My son came unexpectedly when I was 29. If I'd waited until my 30s like we'd planned, it would've never happened.