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First off, today being Valentine's Day is just a coincidence.

TL:DR; I've got 99 problems, and an additional $500-1000/month would solve every single one of them.

Basically, I was reminded how much of a useless fuckup I am. I can't get a job that I can live off, I can't even manage to keep my bathroom clean. Apparently I'm simply lacking "basic skills to live" and "that's a problem."

Fuck if I know what to do about it though.

I'm barely managing to pay my bills, except for rent. I can't afford to live anywhere. And I really don't see a reason to keep trying, I don't have the skills jobs that pay enough want, and the jobs I can get don't pay enough unless I can get two or more of them, but as we all know these days, that's just not doable.

I can't even work up the courage to kill myself. Too scared of what would happen if I messed that up too.

The most depressing/infuriating part of this; literally all I would need to solve my issues is another $6-12k a year. It's such a pityingly small amount. And I can't find a way to earn it. If I wasn't so ugly (and male) I'd be doing sex work. But no one wants a non-passing trans woman.