A Sob Story (with Mass Effect pictures)

A Shitty 2015 Start (Mass Effect Pictures included)

If you're in here for a story, stick around and grab a seat with me. I feel the need to just get this off my chest to help me get past it.

If you're not here for a sob story, ignore the text and enjoy these gifs.

If you want a story but don't want to read the story, tl;dr is on the last post.

Let's start 2015 with ripping your apparently worthless heart into pieces

Possibly among the worst emotions known to a man or woman outside death come from the end of relationships with significant emotional investment.

Imagine my surprise when at 3AM I get a text telling me that my 4 year and a half relationship with a woman that I loved so dearly was ending due to infidelity on her part, infidelity that had persisted for almost half of the relationship.

What made this even worse was the fact that she had to tell me that she loved this person much more than me. Insidiously she also told me that she was leaving both of us. I would later find out that specific part of the text was just a ploy to help "lower the pain," because she planned on going with the other guy.

My initial reaction

I erupted in an detonation of so many feelings, many of which were negative and not at all pleasant. I had spent the second half of my teen years with this person. The amount of memories that we had accumulated, the amount of maturing we enjoyed together, and all the futures we (or perhaps only I) had planned suddenly became worthless.

She was essentially the complete package for me.

I could have handled the news much better. In hindsight, perhaps better handling may have resulted in a completely different outcome, but that is neither here nor there.

Let's make sure it's dead

About a night after all of this had happened I was looking to actually have a conversation with my now ex-girlfriend after all the dangerous fervor wore off and I had my composure.

What do I get? A pound of salt on a gashing wound.

Her other boyfriend began to communicate to me via her new Facebook account (with his last name on it), and began to list my mistakes as to why he has her now and I don't.

Whatever composure I had vaporized instantly and just ruined whatever chance I had left of actually talking her out of staying with the guy.

She later joined in and I was defenseless against someone who broke my heart and the guy who took her.

The biggest reason why she left me?

I didn't give her enough attention.

Admittedly she was right. It is hard to juggle university, managing a large website, other obligations to my family and best friend, and whatever else came up. The other guy has plenty time on his hands. He just lives with his parents and doesn't have a job and doesn't attend any sort of college.

Their relationship formalized a month before her and I even hit our 2nd anniversary. I was apparently given chances to "improve," but truly how was I to know the reality of the situation?

4 and a half years worth of love, memories, and potential collapses in moments

The horrible conversation lasted a mere 30 minutes. I was blocked with my ex's last words being "I'm going to say this words and actually mean it. I hate and despise you."

Just like that she was gone as if I committed some sort of atrocity by not giving her as much attention and love as the other guy with so much more time (and presumably patience) on his hands.

Pain and Grief

What hurt the most was not the fact I was cheated on, but rather that when she left me is was almost as if she never existed. All lines of communication between us has been removed.

I spent a considerable amount of time trying to process what had happened and how it could have been avoided entirely.

I went through a whole grief process. I was initially sad beyond measure, I begged for some sort of waking up from the nightmare, and it was a tumultuous roller coaster ride as I slowly accepted that I was discarded like a piece of trash.

The entire relationship amounted to nothing, and for the most part brought me nothing other than a great amount of hurt in the end.

What about now?

I am still bothered by the whole ordeal. What I do realize now, however, is that I am better off without her.

I was bettering myself to help provide a prosperous future in every way possible. Nothing worth having comes easy. If she was not able to respect what I was doing for her, and what I wanted for her, then fuck her.

She is free to pursue whatever new future she has now with that other guy, a person I consider a thief and her nothing less than despicable and heartless.

The future is bright.

Thanks

tl;dr I had an incredibly shitty breakup, I was sad, I was all "fuck you, I don't care," the future is bright and is mine to reap.

If you read all this, thanks.