Akule
27297
976
36
Hm, why did they call themselves FART?
And now you know. https://lamag.com/politics/something-stinks-about-donald-trumps-trial-it-might-be-trump
Apr 20, 2024 12:16 AM
Akule
27297
976
36
Hm, why did they call themselves FART?
And now you know. https://lamag.com/politics/something-stinks-about-donald-trumps-trial-it-might-be-trump
MahadmaGaudi
I have the best farts, so beautiful…just perfect. So many people tell me,Sir, these are farts we never smelled before…
Foxplay
Those are not farts.... Hes shitting his diaper
ObiYodi
NotFromFlorida
Let me tell you, folks, nobody knows farts like I do. Believe me, I’ve got the best farts, tremendous farts, really tremendous. People come up to me all the time, they say, “Sir, how do you have such incredible farts?” And I tell them, it’s all about technique, it’s all about strategy. I’ve mastered the art of the fart, and let me tell you, it’s a beautiful thing, absolutely beautiful. So when it comes to farts, remember, nobody does it better than me, nobody.
thefrozenorth
I had it first. I'll sue the bastards.
ESChapin
If anyone's in the courtroom, I'd look to see if "Motormouth" Jones from Police Academy is in the room making farting noise to get Trump in trouble. He got Captain Harris in trouble after all.
MapleSyrupMafia
You'll know it's bad if the judge puts a canary on his desk.
Shaodyn
He's in his 70s and lives mostly on junk food. Not surprised he has digestion issues.
NeverDownvoteMelBrooks
Is this why the Freedom caucus started their FART team trending? To divert attention from their farter in chief?
Greymalum
eddbrowne
Donald: extensive drug abuse for decades. Look it up.
Greymalum
Oh, definitely. I would say I'm implying Trump is filth, but I leave it up to the viewer.
eromitlab
Low energy. No stamina. SAD!
Itsritinfruntuvu
I fart probably better than anyone has ever farted before. I might be the best farter that ever lived, who knows? A lot of people are saying it. People come up to me, big, tall, tough, leaders of other countries come up to me and say, "sir, sir, you have the best farts. I wish I wish we had farts like your farts in our country. You know. They say Lincoln was good farter, but I'm a far better farter. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE WORLD WAR 2 IF MY FARTS DON'T GET INTO THE WHITEHOUSE. OBAMAHILLARY, COFEFEE
eviloce
Never trust a FART
carolellogram
Snopes says this claim doesn’t pass the smell test. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-passing-gas-hush-money-trial/
MapleSyrupMafia
Doesn't say false tho, just unproven. The only people who can say for sure are inside the court and people on Eric's father side won't say shit.
WeeemRCB
Are you allowed to light a candle in court?
ApolloSierra
Could his inability to stay awake during his own trial be seen as contempt?
weidermeijer
With all the actual contempt going on unpunished… no.
Shaodyn
I doubt it's inability so much as unwillingness. He finds the entire idea of his own trial pointless and boring, and is showing his obvious lack of interest in the proceedings.
SecretAgentSuperBooger
BeaverOnFire
Ifekinlovesauerkraut
JUGE!
FoxPesdassi
People are saying there's never been anything like it. It could be, we'll see what happens.
WhereIsMyAppleQuava
They are in tears when they smell it, and are breathless. Truly breathless. You can't understand how breathless they are.
RenegadeBlob
The first I saw of this was a satirical site. Just saying...
revolutionofevolution
The source is literally a guy on Twitter saying he heard about it from "credible sources" and another guy me2bro-ing it.
vmos
So what's the problem? He says the source is credible
AWarningToOthers
Imagine being the poor guy that has to whip his ass every time he needs his diaper changed.
Gwaeron86
There's whipping involved? I'd sign up for that job! You'd still have to pay me a LOT though to be in the same room as him.
Donaldbain
I am over qualified.
theworldcouldbeflat
If this is actually happening, can someone provide an actual photo or video of this?
jimplaysgames10
Do you realise that in British slang trump means fart? We knew all along
whiskycanuck
Fart Force Five.
zufallszahlen
I'm picturing a team of international stripper assassins, each with a unique way of killing by shooting things out their...
LylaLexie
The fart master and his FART minions (though can you really be called a fart master if you can’t actually control them?)
3DGURU
We MUST approach the bench, your honor!
twfx
Odor in the court!
MisterLemons
I hereby find the defendant gassy, as charged.
koops
“Bailiff, if they move another foot in my direction you are free to open fire!”-judge
SadsPikkelson
POOTUS
Krzyf
Those are nervous farts. No matter how cool and collected he tries to project, the farts don’t lie
lurkingforeternity
Patriotic Farts of Truth
twfx
Shakira must be notified
Iaimtomisbehave
That creature at the podium is Texas 21st district rep. Chip Roy. About two hundred pounds of Hill Country cow flop in a fifty pound bag.
NeverDownvoteMelBrooks
Only 200?
itsallaboutthecones
I'm guessing 250-270
azimir
He's all hat, no cattle. Every time I hear him talk it makes me wonder just how dumb you can be and still be elected to Congress. Then Georgia says "hold my beer"...
ImGoingToGoFallAsleepOnABench
I'm gonna find a use for the descriptor "cow flop", just you wait!
3rdoption
Sleepy Joe isn't nearly as bad as stinky sleepy Don.
ChicanoBatman
Slinky Don?
LinguisticBitch
Imagine the poor sap changing him because I can't see Tiny Hands wiping himself.
ScottishOddish
Dookie Don
MrWolfwood
here's the thing, he's likely not farting and we've seen pictures of him which looks like he has diapers on. He's shitting himself
MisterLemons
ApolloSierra
Dozy defendant Donald.
KennyBlankenshipandVicRomano
Don Snoreleone
GreaseMonkeyOfLove
Diaper Don
Shaodyn
He tends to act like a spoiled toddler, so the name fits.
Woahouch110
Dozy Donald the Defecating Defendant.
JackalopeElope
Is this like when Disney made Frozen to cover googling about Disney's interment?
cousteau
God, I never realized this.
itsallaboutthecones
Walt in 2230 coming back to find that his company successfully conquered the entire world.
TheManWh0SoldTheWorld
I don't think it's going to take that long.
itsallaboutthecones
Why the fuck can't nature take the logical course already?
TwoNineSix
Evil lives forever, or at least it seems like it.
cepacolusmaximus
come on, cholesterol!
witkop
He's so rotten that when he dies, only his outer shell needs to decay. The rest is gone already and oozing out now and then.
TheMershedPerderder
Because they would make martyr out of him.
CheeseB0t
And? They'll do that anyway, they're insane
ximzadix
I'm one of the ones that would rather he face the proper consequences for his actions, but lets face it...
Sadly him dropping dead of a heart attack or aneurysm or maybe 'falling out of an 11th floor office window etc' is much more likely than him ever going to jail, I think.
dingybasement350
I'm sure his will has plenty of stipulations in it that will prevent his kids from trying to bump him off for their payday.
Ghlargh
Because prey animals don't eat meat that stinky and sick looking. They might catch something.
CliffWestern
The French had a solution for this.
weidermeijer
Col. Harlan Sanders is trying his hardest.
koops
Perhaps it has! Maybe they’re doing a weekend at burnies with his body! “Maybe he’s born with it, maybe it’s formaldehyde!”
Skywatcher16
no. he needs to see a conviction and at least one day behind bars for that conviction. then it can happen. the precedent NEEDS to be set.
INeverWaitForIt
He's rich, so he has access to the best medical professionals on the planet, who pump him full of drugs. He also leads a fairly low intensity existence, so there's no stressful physical activity that will cause him to drop dead of an infarction or aneurysm.
eromitlab
Yet he's constantly getting angry and shouting at people, which you would think would strain his heart. IDK, maybe he doesn't get an adrenaline spike from anger and he's just a psychopath.
INeverWaitForIt
Maybe, but then he surrounds himself with people who validate his anger, so maybe his tantrums generate dopamine at this point.
3Davideo
I would like him to see justice.
Besides, would it not be a just punishment for him to be trapped in an aching, ailing, decaying body that nevertheless manages to keep going, refusing to grant him the sweet release of death, all while he is fully aware but unable to act?
Splosions
We really really need to see the orange fuck see consequences. Not for him. For the next asshole that is smarter.
TwoNineSix
This would be ideal but, considering serious consequences are unlikely, I'd settle for him dropping dead.
ZachariasWolfe
Yeah, having him actually receive serious consequences and set the legal precedent would be good.
SerialChickenLover
There is so much momentum behind the fascist movement in the U.S. I’m afraid this is the path we’re on until we reach a severe and bloody breaking point.
KevinStrexcorp
I'll settle for him burning in hell, so long as he shuts the fuck up on earth.
xXxX66SICKXxXx
No if he dies before convicted I want his corps exhumed tried convicted and executed Cromwell style …. then sodomized by a chimpanzee
whadyameanthatnamestaken
Good luck finding a chimpanzee that’ll do him in any way, shape, or form.
mtg, thot, would though. Oh, she’s got such a hard on for him. I love when he ignores the fuck out of her, and it totally deflates her.
xXxX66SICKXxXx
Only went with a chimp cause I googled the most rapey animals and it was number 1 on the top 5 list
Neurisko
I'd like to respond to this topic, but I don't want to be put on a list.
whadyameanthatnamestaken
Too late
church1982
If you've been born you're already on a list. Let 'er rip!
HeywouldJablowme
Because the rich die young, but evil, evil lives forever. Just look at Dick Cheney. That motherfuckers had a fake heart for 20 years and he still won't die.
Burke616
It's generally not the rich who die young, friend.
HeywouldJablowme
Jesus, did I really fuck that up that badly? Proofreading is important. Obviously I meant the Good Die Young but evil lives forever.
Burke616
It's cool, we've all been there. Hope you can get some rest soon.
dingybasement350
And fucking Kissenger made it to 100.
HeywouldJablowme
Dude, I celebrated that day. As did a lot of well, everybody? As Anthony Bourdain put it, it's hard to travel the world and not meet people that hated Henry Kissinger. He destroyed so many countries and so many lives. Burn in hell you rat bastard.
HeywouldJablowme
Couldn't resist a second comment. "Kissinger made it to 100." Well, that's what happens when you drink the blood of innocent babies apparently.
dingybasement350
I was convinced that after the world ended all that would be left is him and Dick Cheney having an eternal staring contest. That fucking ghoul will probably outlive us all.