Teqta
102878
1599
17
Circa Tumblr 2023. Not mine.
Jul 12, 2023 2:47 PM
Teqta
102878
1599
17
Circa Tumblr 2023. Not mine.
HugbotMKII
There once was a young man named Seamus / who possessed quite a cavernous anus / He could fit his whole fist / right up to the wrist / on the internet, he was quite famous
spool32
There once was a comment so great / the OP straight offered a date: / "you must have a car / plus a heavy crowbar / and be willing to seal this guy's fate"
johnelway
There once was a lad named McNair / who was rogering a lass on the stair / the bannister broke/ so he quickened his stroke/ and finished her off in midair
Cragrat007
There once was a man from Kanas, who’s bollocks were made out of brass, in inclement weather he’d bang them together, and lightning shot out of his ass
wintermute93
I met a young man at the store / whose limericks stopped at line four. / When asked why this was / he said just because, /
myotheralt
...then he dropped the mic on the floor.
ConradPerson
There once was a girl named Alice, who peed in an alter chalice, She said, "I do this, From a great need to piss, And not from sectarian malice"
PrincessWendyB
A limerick of epic proportion/should have meter, and rhyme, and a portion/ of humor quite lewd/ and a frightfully crude/ impossible sexual contortion. (Not mine)
MrStealYourGiF
There once was an imgur post, / intended to limericks roast, / it put the odd nose out of joint, / but made a few points / Hell I'll upvote it, it's better than most.
spool32
Downvoted for mangling the structure in lines 3-5. Jokes must follow the form!
Sarpedan
a clear river flowing with leaves - runs through a red forest of trees - such a vision of maple - is a boon if you're able - to sit still and attain inner peace
Melonfish
There once was a man from Darjeeling, who went on a train ride to Ealing, the sign on the door said don't spit on the floor, so he carefully spat on the ceiling.
SirLaughsALott
Incredible!
Causeitsmadeofmeat
There once was a man from Devizes, whose balls were of different sizes. One ball was so small, it was no ball at all, but the other won several prizes.
OriginalAndWitty
Once was a girl named Alice, used a dynamite stick for a phallus. It blew her vagina to North Carolina and her @$$hole to Buckingham Palace.
Yupurineutah
you win 🤣
Sorcatarius
Kelly walked the moors in a daze, there she'd bark at the moon and the haze, her friends weren't concerned, for by now they had learned, once a month she'd go through this phase.
someguy7734206
There once was a lady named Alice / Who used dynamite for a phallus. / They found her vagina / In North Carolina / And her asshole in Buckingham Palace.
Drnkpnthr
There once was a man named Dave// who found a dead whore in a cave // she was ugly as shit // and missing one tit// but think of the money he saved
theobituator
There once was a man from Kent/whose dick was so long it was bent/once folded in half/he'd insert with a laugh/but instead of coming, he went.
Gogoglovitch
In the spirit of the limericks from Peru and Verdun, I'd like to submit the one about a man named Deniro. Unfortunately, I cannot quote it here, for reasons that will become clear with a bit of thought.
TheBlueMuppet
There once was a man named Dinero, who wrote limericks with lines numbering zero. He made a great haul, writing nothing at all, and his subscribers labeled him Hero.
Teqta
I like that you've all taken this as a call to arms
emptymonty
There once was an old lady of the Azores,whose cunt was infected with sores, the dogs on the street ,
emptymonty
Would eat the green meat, that fell in great gobs from her drawers
VonBonegrinder2290
My WW1 knowledge makes the Verdun one particularly ominous.
MrBismarck
There once was a vampire named Mabel, whose periods were incredibly stable. On every full moon, she took out a spoon, and drank herself under the table.
HillOfBeans
Erythrotrichophile
There once was a poet named Herman // He's not very good, but he's learnin'//Though he often offends // be he so often ends // Alle seine Limericks auf Deutsch
wozat
First, let me explain that I'm cursed/ I'm a poet whose time gets reversed/ Reversed gets time/ Whose poet a I'm/ Cursed I'm that explain me let first.
TheBlueMuppet
Malloon
Wow. Brilliant!
HillOfBeans
There was a young lady named Peach Whose dream home was just out of reach She scrimped and she saved Worked her hands to the grave And was buried in view of the beach
tentacularfleshscape
:(
SybilCrawley
Hashtag millennial problems
Mikeiller
I love a happy ending
Twinklepot
Vergenbuurg
I'd like to go to Morrow. https://youtu.be/JEilPR1PXko
zoeelane201
I love how humans are so drawn to the arts. When presented with an assortment of clever rhymes, humans are compulsed to share their own! Some things are constants
midcirclenine
This reminds me of the poems in 'The Space Child's Mother Goose' - nice little book
GroovyLiberator
https://youtu.be/JjzzSqCxwG8 And this reminded me of a game I used to play 30 years ago, a game I didn't know I remembered!
trinxter
Why is there only one poetic genre named after a place? And was it just a local style there?
fantabuloustimewaster
Isaac Asimov was once asked if he wrote limericks. He said, "I'm from the Soviet Union. I write Odessas."
artrald
Haiku is actually not a place - it's actually just a kind of orange
MrDrMatt
Gesundheit
Ih8thisSoMuch
There once was a man from Nantucket. His name was William Barnes Sr. and he was a devoted anti-slavery activist and creator of the republican party.
Jaggededges113
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
fistermatic5000
There once was a man from Nantucket/ Whose dick was so long he could suck it. / He sat in the grass/ and lubed up his ass/ 'cause he found a nice place he could tuck it. - courtesy of Playboy ~1995
Burgundee
There once was a man from Nantucket, who told bigots that they could all suck it. He now rolls around, six feet underground, as his party begs fascists to cuck it.
abion47
So when will we be able to favorite comments?
Ih8thisSoMuch
hannahbutnotreally
agentpropane
You win the award
IrrelevantHandle
hannahbutnotreally
This guy gets it.